Famously Craptastic

Just in case anyone missed yet another blogging mom TV spot, I'll clue you in. That would be the hawtest blogging Burgher I know. Which is ironic since she's vegetarian.

(I was telling my wonderful husband all about the news mother bloggers were generating. And then it struck me that mother bloggers probably wasn't the best term to use.)

And while we're on the subject of my bloggy friends, Sports Mama is pretty sure she's the reason her sons will be drafted to the major leagues before they graduate high school. It may or may not have something to do with a certain pair of superstitious undergarments. But you can ask her about the details.


And for today's venture into the realms of the Rocking Pony household, I give you the craptasticness that Micah presented me with.

You know those poops that somehow manage to rocket up the back of the diaper, soiling the child's back, the inside of his shirt, the outside of his pants and anything within a 5' range of him? We had one of those tonight. It's not pleasant when it happens in the average 6 month old, but try it on a 5 year old. You can only imagine the results. Or maybe not. I have a picture but I'll spare you the gory details.

I had little choice but to strip him down to his bare pasty whiteness and toss him into the tub. He was not thrilled with me as I splashed water on his nether regions in an effort to remove the largest chunks. It would just have been gross to have him sit down and bathe in that stuff.

When he was sufficiently clean I let the tub fill with clean water and let him play for a while. (Yes, I cleaned the tub out first. What do you take me for?) As I was sorting the largest heap of laundry known to mankind in an effort to find something nasty enough to wash the craptastic clothes with, Micah was busy helping himself to the contents of the ledge of my tub.

The boy opened the lid of my too-expensive-to-reveal-the-price foot scrub and rinsed the entire contents into his bath. He then used the empty jar to scoop and dump water with. Quite happily I might add. All I can say is that he'll have the softest shiny hiney in the house. All that scrubbing action going on as he scooted across the bottom of the tub will probably break him out in a rash.

*************

I hate to have to address this, but it drives me a little bit crazy. I'd love nothing more than to be able to comment on your comments. You know, to be all friendly like for visiting my blog and all. But so many of you don't allow me that option. If you have blogger, I'd greatly appreciate if you'd follow these simple steps to correct that. Many of us would appreciate it.

Log into Blogger.
2. Click Edit Profile directly below your profile picture.
3. In the Privacy section, place a check mark in the Show My Email Address check box.
4. In the Identity section, type your email address.
5. Click Save Profile.

If you don't have Blogger, you're on your own. But we'd still like you to muddle through fixing it so that we can chat freely. Thanks.

17 comments:

Pam said...

So those up the back poops- those are the worst!

Madame Queen said...

You took the words right out of my mouth -- I was going to say "well, at least his skin will be baby butt smooth!"

Look at that thick hair he has, too! He's a gorgeous child.

Beth from the Funny Farm said...

That stuff in the tub and down the drain has happened to me too!

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

You enjoy torturing me, don't you?

On another craptastic note, it's been quite a while since we've had a back creeper. I think that means we are due very soon. I'll be sure to be prepared and get some expensive foot scrub.

Kellan said...

Alexis has dumped many a bottle of shampoo in the tub! Cute picture!

Cool seeing Burgh on TV. I too am going to be featured on one of our local morning shows here next Tuesday - we Mommy bloggers are everywhere aren't we!?

Take care - Kellan

Nap Warden said...

Thanks for posting the Burgh Baby news story...I totally missed that!

The Sports Mama said...

Huh. The awesomeness that is Burgh to my memory has not ever revealed the secrets that hide under that Pens jersey, and becomes a famous mother blogger (LOVE that phrase, BTW), complete with a TV spot that she totally rocked.

I? Maybe mention ... in passing... that my son's undefeated football season might possibly have been due to my superstitiously, er--I mean, proudly sporting the school colors... and that is my new claim to fame.

I'm not sure if I should be mortified or not.

Thanks, Karen. Love ya. :)

Cecily R said...

Shiney hiney, mother blogger and BBM AND Sports all in one post. Perfect!!!

Melissa said...

LOL! How is it they always know the most expensive things in the house to get into.

Hope has decided she needs to eat all my chocolate covered almonds....the kid has never eaten an almond in her life, up until today.

just jamie said...

Good grief. If I could send you some foot scrub through some magical Star Trek kind of world, please know I would. I really would.

Leanne said...

I always thought that poop up the backside meant it was time to go up a size in the diaper....

allisonsays.com said...

Oh no! I would have been SO upset at the loss of nice beauty-treats. Granted, I rarely even HAVE nice beauty treats at this point in my life...but those that I do have? Yeah, I'd be sad if they went to smooth a boy bottom. Cute picture, though! Your kids are just beautiful!

Debbie Yost said...

My husband calls those Thanksgiving dinner poops. I can only imagine how gross that was. Diva (who uses a toilet but doesn't always flush) isn't much older than Micah and I find it hard to believe how much she can poop sometimes.

jessica said...

i know those rocket-up-the-back poops all too well. what a good bath story :) and i've been told, regarding my comments, that it doesn't lead you back to me. does mine work for you? i know i get responses from you once in a while!

imbeingheldhostage said...

Oh, so that's what everyone's talking about-- not the poop, the email thing. I always figured I was on blogger and my site had my email address and that was enough-- but it's driving you crazy and you're not the only one to mention it-- so I'll change. Just for you. I dropped my word verification for a dyslexic reader, see I am capable of playing nice :-)

Colleen said...

mother bloggers...that is funny!

and am I a problem child with the email thing, too? I thought it was only if you had a Blogger blog...or something. I'm not too technically savvy...that's why I have Justin (besides for him to keep the couch warm on cold, rainy Mother's Days).

Michelle said...

You know you're the mom of a "special needs" kid when the first think you notice about that picture is "fine motor skills!" Who cares about how expensive the bath scrub is - he's using fine motor skils to twist off the top! LOL