Yes, I Am The Coolest Idiot Around

Since everyone and their sister will be commenting on the Kathie Lee Gifford vs. Dooce (representing blogging moms everywhere) confrontation, I'll refrain. Just know that I wish a smack-down had taken place. It would have been fun. As it was, poor Dooce was reduced to smacking herself in frustration. She may be my new bloggy hero for putting up with stupidity on national television.


And on to my regular programming...


Remember way back in the day when the cool kids were just that? You know, the ones that seemed to have it all, and it was all together? The hair, the clothes, the look. I was never one of them. And always a little glad that I wasn't. They just looked high maintenance to me, and I had better things to do than my hair. I mean it was the 80's and doing your hair required several hours and a hole in the ozone's worth of Aqua Net.


And yet there are those who are referring to me as the cool mom. Me! Whoda ever thunk?! But I'm a little wiser in my old age, and a little less jaded by the great honor my peeps are trying to bestow upon me. I'm hip to the fact that cool no longer means you're the one that has it all together. It simply means that I'm so sleep deprived that I can no longer think straight. (And as an aside, am I the only one who's ever wondered about that stupid statement? Because what exactly is crooked thinking? And I said crooked, not dirty.)


I was referred to as the coolest mom ever for letting my son get a lizard. And then again for getting our daughter a drum set. Are you seeing a trend here? Reptiles and loud noises are now a permanent part of our house. And that does not make me cool. That makes me an idiot. Even I can see through that pack of lies.

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And those comments about the ivy? Those may make me cool with the kids on the school bus but somehow I don't think having a giant set of boulders in my yard is ever going to happen. It doesn't matter if the boulders would wear a bra or a jock strap, I cannot bring myself to create them.

Maybe this green bit of redneckness will redeem me in the eyes of the 'hood.

15 comments:

Pam said...

your cracking me up! Sadly I had that high ozone eating hair growing up. But I was not cool then or now. Unless you count being cool in the eyes of little ones who pick their nose and eat off the floor....then I am a rocking mom!

Colleen said...

I had me some big hair and I was jealous of girls who could get theirs BIGGER! ;) I'm glad you were too cool to "be cool". I like you just as you are! :)

OHmommy said...

LOL... you are too funny.

Big hair rocked and now I want it all flat. :)

KLG was such a... ugh.... coward. Dooce was about to tell her off and KLG cut her off. UGH!

Debbie Yost said...

I had a roommate in college who went through a can of Aquanet a week. I kid you not! We were at this lake one time and she was on the other side (it was a small lake) She got her hair wet and we could smell the Aquanet all the way across the lake. Gross.

Flea said...

You're a cool mom. I mean, c'mon, it says it in your blog name. You ROCK. And that ivy needs to practice self control. The truck is not a good idea. Hey! Maybe it can cover the deck so your husband won't be tempted to rip it all out and redo it.

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

Like you need anybody to tell you that you're a cool mom. You already know it! (And you totally are.)

Beth from the Funny Farm said...

The 80's had the best music though! lol

Sandy C. said...

Oh man, KLG...what a piece of work.

ROFL at your Aqua net and redneckness !!! You kill me!

Melissa said...

Your totally cool, even if you have to deal with a lizard and loud drums!

You rawk!!

Fannie Mae said...

Holy C$%P! Thanks for the KLG link. I'd been reading about this all day! Now that I've watched it I can't figure out what everyone is so up in arms about. You have a lady in a dress that makes your eyes bleed, saying MORE than once she doesn't understand "computers" (by which she means the internet), making ridiculous and sweeping generalizations. So....what?

Karen said...

Fannie Mae - you know, you're the only one I've heard comment on that horrendous dress she was wearing. It truly does make the eyes bleed, doesn't it?

just jamie said...

I could never tease my hair high enough. It was just too darn straight.

And I'm with the kids. A lizard and a drum set is super cool!

Tootsie Farklepants said...

You ARE a cool mom! And I'm sorry about the demise of your foot stuff. *sniff*

Sniz said...

You ARE so cool, Karen! In fact, you rawk!

I didn't know about the whole mommy blogger thing...wow. How interesting. I sent the link to my husband. This is just the kind of thing that is interesting.

Be well and have a great weekend!

Sniz

caramama said...

You are a cool mom to me mainly because you have 4 kids (one with special needs) and a bunch of animal AND you make it through the day. every day. somehow.

that is cool in my book!