And Then She Said...

Tonight I took the kids out to eat since Sam was away. We had coupons to Pizza Hut, and what kid doesn't like to eat there? So we stopped on the way to drum lessons.

Micah was determined that he was going to serve himself pizza and the piece I gave him wasn't acceptable. So I put his piece back and watched him serve himself the exact same piece. (Have you seen the part of Lilo & Stitch where Lilo asks her sister for the money to buy her "dog" with? Yeh.) And then, just before depositing that piece of pizza onto his plate it somersaulted down off the table, bounced off his knee, and landed face down on the floor. This was devastating to the independent eater and he proceeded to have meltdown right there in the restaurant.

The little girl in the booth behind us stood up, peeked over the divider, and looked at us.

We got Micah's knee cleaned up (a mere napkin wouldn't do - oh no! It was clearly a wet wipe kind of job) and moved on with the meal. We ate some pizza, we shared some bread sticks, Becky was in a rare sharing kind of mood and talked non-stop during the meal...

The little girl in the booth behind us stood up, peeked over the divider, and looked at us.

Luke was admonished for double dipping in our only marinara cup and Micah discussed quite loudly and in-depth the injustices of Luke's errors.

The little girl in the booth behind us stood up, peeked over the divider, and looked at us.

Micah decided he was done eating and needed to entertain himself. He crawled behind me, wrapped his arms around my neck, and put me in a strangle hold. Thankfully I'm well versed in toddler wrestling maneuvers and have learned how to breathe and even act normally through stunts like this. Micah loudly declared to the world that mama was going down as he wiggled back and forth, squeezed, and wrestled away.

The little girl in the booth behind us stood up, peeked over the divider, and looked at us. And then she said "that little boy is hurting his grandma."

Oh. My. Goodness.

When did that happen?! For the love of all that is right in the world, please tell me that I don't look so world weary and haggard that I could pass as someone's grandma! How did I come to this? There was a day when people had a hard time believing that I was old enough to have 4 children. Now? I'm mistaken for my own kids grandmother.

Pass the Geritol, I feel a bit faint.

32 comments:

Pam said...

Oh, please, you don't look a day older than grandma - oh wait, that doesn't help any. Never mind then.... ;)

Karen Deborah said...

oh my lawd, I'm just speachless.
Stay in your pajamas tomorrow I whole heartedly recommend it.

Gina said...

Oh. My. God. I would have gone home and drank a bottle of wine. But you SO DO NOT look like a grandma. I may be biased, though, because if you look like grandma, I look like great-grandma...

Andrea said...

That little girl must need glasses!! LOL!! I love that last paragraph! It made me laugh. You so do not look old enough to be their grandma!!!

Michelle said...

That SO is not how I was expecting the story to finish (and man can we relate to the independence and mishaps and meltdowns, lovely, isn't it?). But the ending was so much better than I could have hoped for! You are SO not a grandma. These are the same kids who think that 20 is REALLLLLLY old. Pay her no mind!

Flea said...

No WAY. Maybe an older aunt ...

caramama said...

There is no way! I've seen those pics of you you put up, and you look young and beautiful. That girl obviously didn't have a clue. Kids! They are clueless!

While Becky was in a sharing mood, did she give you any dirt about her boyfriend?

Colleen said...

bwahahahahahaha! I would've been tempted to get all the kids to stare at that girl all at the same time.

and dude..you do NOT look like you're old enough to have 4 kids...and certainly not a 13-yr old. Maybe you just had a calm grandma essence instead of the shrill mom essence that I wouldn't know anything about at all whatsoever. *twiddles thumbs and whistles*

The Sports Mama said...

Since you look younger than I do... that does not give me great hope for how I look.

Although it absolutely explains why I never get carded while buying adult beverages when the boys are with me.

carrielt said...

I'm sorry but I had to chuckle. Last fall my sister, mom and I went on a girls weekend. I ordered an alcoholic drink at Applebee's and so did my sis. The lady asked for my sister's ID, but not mine. When my mom asked why she didn't take mine the chick said, "oh she looks over 33." I was 27! Mom and sister both said it was the lighting, but do I really look that old!

Caution Flag said...

OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!

I am, however, going with Colleen that you simply exuded a grandmotherly gentleness and tolerance.

Poltzie said...

Oh Gawd Karen, that's horrible! I'm so sorry.

Cecily R said...

I'm jumping on the grandmother kindness bandwagon here. My mom is FAR more patient in situations like that than I am, so it stands to reason that you are your patience look like that...either that or her mom was 12 when she was born so her grandma is only 34.

Anonymous said...

Sounds to me the grandma comment is the least of your worries. Child behavior in public places need to be worked on IF the kids are drawing THAT much attention AND disrespecting "grandma" in public.

Don Mills Diva said...

Oh please!

She was a little kid - what does she know?! She probably thinks everyone over the age of 21 looks like a grandma!

Laski Gal said...

Oh, Karen, you are adorable! Inside and OUT! And not in a cute granny-like way either!

And your children are so full of love and it is so clear where they get it from! I wish more people were as awesome and you and your family!

justmylife said...

It is usually my husband that gets other people's children in trouble, But I can relate to the feeling old part, I wrote a post about it a week or two ago. And Mr/Mrs Anonymous up there must not have children or they would know a lot of kids have fun with their parents in public!

Bia said...

Bless,you Karen. I kept reading waiting to see what the girl was going to say...and that was so NOT it!

Really, all you can do is laugh.

utmomof5 said...

ROTFLOL!!! While I do not know you in real life by your pictures there is no way!! Oh my that is a great story!!

Burgh Baby said...

Shut. up. If you're Grandma, then I'm Great Great Grandma.

Where's my walker?

Kim said...

I was asked twice in the same week if I was Eleanor's grandmother. Our kids may be giving us gray hairs but really now....

I have decided it's more of a commentary on how young some grandmothers are looking, not how old we are looking. For example, the governor of Alaska will be a grandmother soon.

Nap Warden said...

Well, if you are Grandma and Burgh is Great Grandma I don't even want to think what that makes me!
Seriously...not thinking about it:P

the planet of janet said...

eh. what do nosey little girls who peek over divides and look at you know.

obviously nothing.

and they should keep their nosey little opinions to themselves. because obviously they have no manners.

AND... in addition to that, she obviously has a vision problem. no way, kiddo.

Jenn said...

Yeah isn't that nice? This summer we were buying the baby a stuffed animal at the Aquarium and the lady asked my husband if this was his first grandchild. So I guess I was the fat old grandma with him!

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

I am so sorry. That would have ruined my evening. Although Bia is right, all you can do is laugh.

Karen said...

Oh Man......I'm sure her mom was like 15, right? and her grandma like 30ish. That would be my story.

SgtSudsWife said...

Oh My.I don't know what to say.Except that you do not look like a grandma!Funny story though.I was LOL by the end.Thanks for the humor.

And to anonymous just because a child is drawing the attention of another child does not mean he has behavior issues in public.Children always look at other children.

Fishsticks and Fireflies said...

Ouch. Tell me that you at least worked it in your favor and got the senior discount?!

Debbie Yost said...

Breath! Just Breath. Then remember, little kids have NO concept of age. And yet, thanks for the laugh.

JennyH said...

Oh my gosh!! so funny! I just heard yesterday "you don't look old enough to have 4 kids" so I hope the grandma statement is not coming soon! I hope that comes!

BTW, You SO do not look enough to be a grandma- OR have 4 kids!

anglophilefootballfanatic.com said...

Oh, that sucks. Poor Karen. Kids have no idea how to judge age. I'm certain of that. Don't fret.

And, hey. I have a custom order I was hoping you could do for me. I'll email you about it.

Michelle said...

I'm sorry, but I had to chuckle at that one! :) You sure don't look like a grandma, but little kids don't know any better! Kayla has been calling almost every "older" lady we run into "grandma"! and I don't know why she's doing it as they don't look like my mom, or Joe's mom!