Summer Fun

The kids spent a great deal of time in the pool this past summer. It was great entertainment for them and their host of friends that come through here regularly. It took the friends a while to get used to the idea of Micah splashing blissfully but nakedly beside them. We tried to keep his swim diaper on him but in the end realized it wasn't worth the fight. In his mind, the pool is a huge bathtub and one does not bath with clothing on. Not even a swim diaper.

(I saw a little boy at the end of our road this summer sporting his Crocs. Nothing else. It's nice to know I'm not the only one raising a nudist in the neighborhood. Now I can hold my head up when in public here in the redneck part of the woods.)

Micah gets tired of swimming on occasion and heads to the swing set to play and warm up. This one particular day was quite hot and I was afraid that if he went down the slide he would burn his exposed bum, so I tracked him down to diaper him. I found him at the slides, but it was too late. He'd already gone down. He'd also pooped and used the slide to wipe. There was a brown streak down the center of the spiral slide, from top to bottom.

This streak wasn't substantial enough to hose off, so I had no choice but to wipe it. I armed myself with a bucket of water and a few old rags. Who thought that a spiral slide was a good idea? Sure, the kids love it, but not when it's sporting a stripe. Nobody would use it ever again if I didn't get it clean. And how was I going to get the whole thing clean?

To help you envision the scope of my dilemma, here is the kind of slide that I'm talking about.




I wiped poo from the bottom up as far as I could reach. Wow, it was hot in there. It must surely have been 120 degrees. And in case you're not aware, poop really smells when it's heated. Then I climbed up into the playset and wiped down as far as I could reach. At times like this I wish I had monkey arms. I laid on my belly and inched farther and farther down into the superheated poop baker, scrubbing at the never-ending brown streak. I was finally in as far as I could get without sliding down head first onto the unwiped brown. I was hanging by my toes and wondering how to get back up. Thankfully, with the enclosed sides I was able to get a grip with both hands and push myself back from whence I came. Did I mention that I'm claustrophobic? I am. I am also not very fond of spiders and there was a large, black, hairy one inside that slide.

I did not tell my kids about that spider. They would never use the slide again if they knew. I also did not tell them that there may have been a very small spot in the center that I didn't get wiped. But it's probably gone by now.

10 comments:

Melissa said...

Oh ick!! I would have vomited while cleaning and then there would have been one more ting to clean...ick!!

Madame Queen said...

Oh my gosh! You are one brave woman! I remember at one of my birthdays a girl peed on the slide. Hilarious.

Bluepaintred said...

at the first glimpse of spider inhabitation, I would have left the kids to deal with both the stripe and the spider!

Kellan said...

You're so funny - what a funny story. Kids are all kinds of fun and all kinds of "crappy" work - aren't they? Take care. Kellan

Bia said...

This reminds me of my best friend's husband who took their two year old to McDonalds to play. Well, the two year old climbed into the tubes, but couldn't/wouldn't come back down. My friend's husband started to climb up to get him, only to realize that his son had a very, very stinky diaper. No ventilation inside that plastic tubing!

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

I would pay a lot of money to have a picture of your face when you figured out what happened. I'm laughing without the photo, but it would make it all the better.

(I just realized that poop wasn't funny until I was a Mom. Does this mean that I've arrived?)

Deanne said...

Ewwwweee! Spiders and poop....not a good combination.

The Sports Mama said...

Only "probably" gone by now, huh? :)

Anonymous said...

thats funny. I just barely read another nudist post. (dont worry, it is very appropiate) Hollywoodflakes.blogspot.com/

Michelle said...

I can't believe he actually managed to go down the slide with a bare bottom, doesn't seem like he would get very far!