A Whirlwind Weekend and Heroes

The out of town trip was so nice. Sometimes it's great just to have a change of scenery. But it's always so very nice to come home, too. There's a point when the kids have had it with each other, are missing their own house and routine and are over-tired. And then it's time to come home. But, oh, the weather was delightful! We wore sweatshirts with no jackets and the sun shone and it was so, so spring-like. I even saw a display of crocus. And we came home to single digit temps and an already-posted 2-hour delay for school tomorrow. Yippee.

But I can't talk about the weekend without mentioning the meeting on Friday. First of all, I appreciate that everyone was thinking of us. It meant a lot. Things went very well, and some unexpected things came up. Not bad things, just unexpected. They're proposing enrolling him for kindergarten this fall. I wasn't ready for that. He'll most likely be in life skills classes in the other district, and the theory is that another year in preschool won't ready him for kindergarten, so just start him now. His teachers and aides will tailor things to him and it won't be over his head. And because of his IEP I can send him full days, half days or a combo of full and half. I love the last option as a way to get him used to full days gradually. If he can eventually mainstream completely in all classes he'll come back to our district. If he can only mainstream in a few classes he'll stay at that school for obvious reasons. But regardless of where he goes to elementary, he'll return to our district for high school. Although the larger school has the contract for special ed kids in lower grades, ours has for HS. And it's one of the best in the state I'm told. Kids from all over the county are shipped here and most of the kids are plugged into jobs in the community by the time they graduate. Truly, life skills at it's best. I was quite impressed with the overall meeting. He'll be evaluated by the psychiatrist in another month or so and we'll go from there in determining what to do about school this fall.

I was having a hard time last week worrying about my littlest boy. The decisions we're forced to make on a daily basis for him are sometimes overwhelming. Things that shouldn't be an issue are major battles. There are days that I dont' think I can do it any longer. And then I spent a weekend with my SIL whose husband will be in Iraq for 6 months. She'll be a single mom to 4 kids - 2 teenagers, an early elementary and a preschooler. They're very active in the church, in sports, in school. All while her husband is in war. And I was ashamed for myself, for thinking that I had issues. It's all a matter of perspective. But on the trip home today I rethought that. I certainly don't want to minimize what so many women do while their husbands are deployed. I cannot imagine how they cope, and I appreciate that they support their husbands while keeping the family glued together so well. Every single one of them are my heroes. But so are the mothers who take care of special needs children. Our job is daily. It's not just for a few months, or for the duration of a war. It's a lifetime. My SIL freaked a little bit when I was talking about high school for Micah. She just thought it was crazy since he's not even 5 yet. But sometimes the only way I can get through each small step I'm battling is by seeing the big picture. Ever since he was born I've been focusing on him as a 20 year old, able to live semi independently (if not completely dependent) and every single day I focus on what it's going to take to get Micah there. And there are parents who have children that require a lot more work than our dear boy does. They are my heroes, too.

To moms everywhere that are the glue holding their families together through thick and thin, through sickness and in health, through war and in peace, thank you.

29 comments:

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

I was going to point that out, too - 6 months is only 6 months. You're dealing with a lifetime. I really don't know how parents of special needs kids do it.

Leanne said...

I'm so happy it went well and that you're so tuned in to your little guy's needs. He's got a great Mom. I think you're right to look at the end picture too, you gotta know where you want to be if you're trying to plan how to get there.

The Sports Mama said...

This was a beautiful tribute to being Micah's mama. The love you feel for your special little one shows with everything you write about him! :)

Cecily R said...

Karen I am amazed by you. For so many reasons. Micah is such a lucky kid to have you and your husband as parents. It's is so obvious that you were meant to be a family, and that he will excel and grow because of it.

Madame Queen said...

I'm so glad you had a nice weekend -- and some nice weather. It was gorgeous here, too!

What a nice tribute to moms. And I think you're right to focus on the bigger picture. We all have to do that sometimes or we'll get bogged down in every day life.

Andrea said...

It is hard to be a mom period. There are truley rewarding times but most of the time it it hard work that never gets any time off.
You do a fantastic job and I am glad the meeting went well.

Deb in OPKS said...

I am so glad you got good news from your meeting. It truly sounds encouraging.

What a beautiful sentiment on heros. It made me cry.

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

You brought tears to my eyes, my dear. I love that you are always able to get your perspective back in place, even when outside forces challenge it. Your kids are all very lucky to have you.

Have you ever read http://myspecialks.blogspot.com/? That Mom falls under "all of the above" and then some. The grace she displays through it all is absolutely amazing and inspiring.

Jessica said...

you're right, it is all about perspective. and we each deal with our own battles. glad things are looking good for micah's future and your peace of mind. and thank you to your BIL from us.
my blog

kimmy said...

You are great Mommy to your little boy! You should be so proud of yourself! Micah is very lucky!

Kimmy

THE MOM BOMB said...

I am completely in awe of your energy, love and dedication to your son -- and entire family. You have a special parenting challenge and it's obvious to all that you meet it with grace.

As for school, I think it's awesome that he's starting kindergarten with those options.

utmomof5 said...

Amen sister!! I have to keep my problems in perspective too. With out minimizing them. It can be a really hard balancing act.

Glad to hear the meeting went well, you will figure out what is best for him and do the right thing.

Christina

Colleen said...

I'm so glad to hear that the school will be able to really tailor things to what Micah needs...that is just fabulous news!

And I think you're doing a fantastic job, not only with him, but while also balancing the rest of your family and your husband and your Etsy store.... It may be tough, but you are DOING it!! And you're certainly doing it better than I could! ;) Here's a big ol' internet hug for ya
**hugs**
Keep doing what you're doing because you're doing great!

caramama said...

I'm glad you had a good weekend and nice weather!

I'm especially glad that the meeting about Micah's school went well. It's great that they will be able to tailor kindergarden for him. It's so important to keep the bigger picture in mind, and that the schools are thinking about it too (by talking with you about high school).

I'm always very impressed and inspired by you. You are a wonderful mom, and it shows in everything that you write and do. You are my hero!

Tootsie Farklepants said...

You're a great mommy!!

Fannie Mae said...

Sounds like you're doing all the right things. Advocating for our children is our number one job.

Nap Warden said...

Well everyone is faced with their own set of circumstances. You are meeting yours heade on. It's never to soon to think about the future, and you seem to be doing just that...Good job!

linds said...

I needed this post today!

Micah is so lucky to have you as his mom.

Kellan said...

I second all of that Karen!! I'm glad it went so well in your meeting - that sounds so reassuring and I'm sure it is a relief to have some sort of plans. I know you have it hard Karen - I just want you to know that you are hero too - to your family and to your precious little son. It amazes me what mother's can/will do for thier children. You Rock!

Take care and I'm glad you had a good trip. Kellan

Johnina said...

Firts of all I'm jealous you got to go somewhere! Second I think it's so hard desciding everything for our kids. We just have to do what we think is best and pray we made the right decision. I'm sure he will do well, he has you!

Shellie said...

Everybody has to deal with something, I guess we're just grateful for what we got in the end! I left you a little gift over on my blog. <3

OHmommy said...

Amen!

ALF said...

oh man - that made me cry.

Jen said...

I think you are a very wise mama to be considering the future each step of the way. Even with my children who are (thank goodness) educationally normal as far as we know, we try to make decisions that will benefit them in the furthest reaching way, not just for "this year" or "next year."

I hope you are well. Your post today is a lovely reminder to count our blessings, that no matter how tired or stressed or overwhelmed we feel, someone out there has twice the burden we are feeling. Blessings to your friend, and to you. Hang in there mama.

Bia said...

Micah is very, very lucky to have you as his Mommy. I truly have no idea what it's like to care for a special needs child, but I have no doubt that you are who your son needs.

God bless, Karen. You are an inspiration to many.

Pam said...

You amaze me! You do so much daily that many of us will never have to deal with. Your family is lucky to have you!

I am so glad that the meeting went well and that the school is working with you.

Sometimes when I get overwhelmed with the big picture- I take it one step at a time. So I understand when you get overwhelmed with all the little steps to focus on the big picture.

You are a good mom! Your children are growing and have a fabulous role model to look up to!

KIDZMAMA said...

It's great that you can see the big picture. Because there is one. The everyday stuff gets in the way sometimes. You're an excellent mom and you are going to help Micah find his perfect place in this world.

Susie said...

Things I thought while reading your post:
1.You are a special mom for being given a special task of raising a special son with special needs--not all of us are choosen to do that. (some of us deal with other things like men at war-and that's what they have been choosen to do)
2.I am so a big picture person too and easily forget one day at a time--so ODAT to you!
3.My aunt with severe DS was never even allowed in school, just workshops, and even though she can't live alone, she (until she retired) always held a job and she loved it!
God has plans for all of us-and will get us all where we need to go. You deserve lots of credit for what you do and I am here give you as much as I can.
Way to go MOM--You are amazing!

Michelle said...

I'm glad to hear the weekend getaway was nice for you guys!

Sounds like the meeting went well and it's great that you have options! I'm a little worried about how Kayla will do in K too, although I think holding her back for another year of preK wouldn't necessarily be the best for her either -I think she would be bored with the same curriculum they did this year.

I'm worried about the long school day. For the last 2 yrs in preschool she's gone for 3 hrs, here K is full day- just as long as the other grades (8-3) and that seems like such a huge jump in hours, and it is really. They do have a quite/rest time in the afternoon, but we'll see!