I'm Going Down

I'll admit it. I am a fitness flunkie. I joined the gym way back in January, if you'll remember. Then in Feburary I took on a job at the gym as a babysitter two mornings a week. In exchange for this I get free membership for my husband and myself.

My husband has been to the gym an entire handful of times and I feel as though I should nag him about wasting my time for his membership. But I can't. Why? Because I haven't worked out at the gym since, oh, roughly April-ish.

We're both fitness flunkies.

So why do I continue to work there, you may ask? Because we may want to exercise some day. It's much like having a treadmill that you haven't used for years. You just never know, you know?

I've followed the gym's strict diet guidelines, too. That lasted about 7 hours, 21 minutes. And then I woke up and ate breakfast. Needless to say, I didn't lose a whole lot of weight. In fact, my overall weight loss since the beginning of the year is +2.

That's right, I've managed to gain 2 pounds, and yet I'm at the gym all the time it seems. I've even started to question myself on why on earth I'm wasting my time there. Especially now that summer is here. All the kids are out of school, and the little boys and girls that I've been babysitting are now bringing their big brothers and sisters with them. Fun times, fun times.

But just about time I had myself convinced that I should probably quit the gym and free up some time to get something done around here (like maybe housework) I saw pictures of myself taken over the weekend from the horse show. Yes, I know you saw them, too. But did you really think that I would show you those pictures? Good heavens, I may photochop about two spare tires off my middle before putting those in albums. It's that bad. And I'm not exaggerating.

In fact, last year when I rode in the buggy with my daughter we wore snappy red jackets with black collars and coordinating black slacks. We looked good. This year I zipped up my jacket and realized that there was a very real danger of the zipper busting wide open right in the middle of the show ring. That would have been a show alright. We changed into denim shirts and jeans and went casual this year. And yet the fat rolls were incredibly evident. And revolting.

Not quite as revolting as seeing my green underwear waving at the world from the top of my jeans after my shirt rode up my back. The buggy has a very conveniently placed space between the seat and backrest that allows the world to see things that they have no business seeing. We may have placed better but the judge was temporarily blinded by the great expanse of white muffin top leaking out of the back of the buggy.

I'm officially and for-real dieting. And let me tell you, this foreign land sucks. If only I had more willpower, I wouldn't be in this predicament.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.


Ain't that the truth.

29 comments:

Colleen said...

Eating healthy is hard! Junk food is cheaper and usually tastes better. I wish you luck...Justin's been trudging along with his diet and gym on and off since he went to Alaska...he's trying to get back on regularly again, but it's hard. And I've been threatened "no chocolate/wine" if I nag him. :)

Leanne said...

I'm with ya sister. I'm trying to eat better and run three times a week. The scale has not moved. Not even a half a pound. IT'S NOT FAIR!

anglophilefootballfanatic.com said...

I feel your pain. I could not believe what I weighed in at yesterday. 18 pounds I have been asked to lose. To a person who didn't break 110 until she was 23? That was a sock to the ol' gut. I'll try to motivate you if you motivate me? Deal?

Tranny Head said...

I'm sure it's not as bad as you think it is, but good for you for getting back on the hoss! I, myself, just finished a bowl of cookie dough ice cream. *hangs head in shame*

LaskiGal said...

Body, fat . . . good friends. Yeah, and chocolate is there therapist.

I'm eating from a bag of chocolate chips. Right now.

I'm with Tranny . . . *hanging head in shame*

Fishsticks and Fireflies said...

"That lasted about 7 hours and 21 minutes. And then I woke up and ate breakfast."

Priceless! Best of luck on your weight loss journey . . . I never thought I would miss my late teens and early 20s - I would now go back in a heartbeat just to reclaim my metabolism.

Flea said...

Oh nooooo! Don't DIET! Dieting is so bad for the metabolism. I'm one to talk. I fell off the wagon last week and had a pint of Ben 'n' Jerry's Chubby Hubby ice cream. For me it was learning not to diet, but to give up some food addictions. Ice cream was one.

Good luck with the new regime. I mean routine. BFL's a good program, if your looking for something new to try. :)

Michelle said...

I'm so so with you, Karen. I've been trying really hard to lose weight since the beginning of the year -- mostly because of a wedding I was in where I knew there would be LOTS of pictures.

It wasn't easy or fun, but I did manage to lose most of the weight I wanted to (3.6 pounds left!). If you're looking for a good (free) support, I'd completely recommend SparkPeople. Lots of support, lots of suggestions, lots of knowledge and advice, but still enough for you to choose how involved you want to be.

Good luck!

Andrea said...

Oh, you and I are in the same dang boat! I would love to have pictures taken of me riding but, yuck!! I have that nice tube that goes around my middle too. It stinks that my legs will fit into a size 8 but my fat stomach can't fit in a 12. Oh, and I too tried on my show vest, today infact! LOL! I knew the thing woudn't fit when the size on the tag was a M!! WHAHAHAHAA!! I will diet too, maybe tomorrow, I just ate some ice cream!

The Sports Mama said...

I've decided I can't diet until I can afford plastic surgery to remove all the skin that will be left over once the weight is gone.

And.... being unemployed at the moment.... doesn't look like that will be happening any time soon.

On the other hand, Arizona has a remarkable weight loss program! Its called Volunteering for Your Local Little League In The Middle of The Summer Where Temps Are ALWAYS Above 105 Degrees!! Ugh. I've never sweat so much in my entire life as I did this past week.

imbeingheldhostage said...

"And then I woke up and ate breakfast." you funny funny woman. Now, you realize that you wrote about green underwear in this post and what kind of people that will attract in the future, right?
So, I've been thinking about the weight too. My body and fat are BFF and have had several years getting close but truthfully, I'm a little tired of their clicky friendship. So-- if you and Aff are holding each other accountable, could I play along too? (she says after consuming croissants for lunch).

Caution said...

I am very sorry to read about your weight frustrations. And I am very sorry to say I understand every.single.word.

Okay, now I AM going to get up from this computer and walk the dog. I am. I really might do it. Tomorrow.

Beth from the Funny Farm said...

Just start doing it. It takes about 25 straight days to make a habit. So do it. Everyday. Complain about it. But do it.

I belong to an online fitness gang at www.barrelracingbuzz.com - we are just some 30-40 something people who post and try and motivate each other to getRdone!

Come join us. It helped me drop 20 pounds by having to check in with friends online.

Madame Queen said...

You know, I seriously fell off the weight watchers wagon the week before we went on vacation (I think it was in anticipation of the trip!) but finally got back on on Monday. Fortunately I'd only gained half a pound, so I'm still down about 3 pounds.

Stay strong! You can do it! :)

Becoming Mommy said...

I'm rejoining WW when we get back from our vacation in July. I'll have no excuses to procrastinate anymore then.

It was marriage that made me fat. Before I got married? I did belong to a gym, I did PT 3 times a day, I followed a diet from a nutritionist, and wore a size 6.

Shamelessly Sassy said...

good luck with it all. Also, for some reason, I can't see your title or the first part of your post. (I'm running FireFox3.)

Susan said...

Amen, Karen to all you said. It is so hard. I lose a few, then voila! They're back! Well, consider yourself in good company anyway.

(BTW, I bought a bunch of DVDs a few months ago so I could squeeze in workouts every day at home. Yeah, squeeze into my jeans is more like it. The DVDs are still in plastic, although I'm trying -- somewhat in vain -- to get outside and walk more.)

Susan said...

Amen, Karen to all you said. It is so hard. I lose a few, then voila! They're back! Well, consider yourself in good company anyway.

(BTW, I bought a bunch of DVDs a few months ago so I could squeeze in workouts every day at home. Yeah, squeeze into my jeans is more like it. The DVDs are still in plastic, although I'm trying -- somewhat in vain -- to get outside and walk more.)

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

Good luck, wumman. I'm right there with you.

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

Good luck, wumman. I'm right there with you.

ALF said...

I have been exercising and eating less and STILL I gain weight. It's miserable.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

I first read "fitness flunkies" as "fitness junkies" so the rest of the post made no sense to me. Until I went back to see where I'd missed important info.

Melissa said...

I'm so with you on the muffin top. Even with the weight I lost I'm still sporting the muffin look.

Good luck with working out!

Allison Says said...

Oh, Karen...we can do it!

I want to say I'm jealous that you have a gym membership, but I'm damn sure I would never go, either. So, I really can't blame you!

I feel your pain. We'll get there.

kimmy said...

I have never been a gym person. I am a gym flunkie too. Unless I am meeting someone - I am not very motivated to exercise. Although, I am truly devoted to Pilates. I do two classes a week and I love it!

Kimmy

Kellan said...

You are hysterical - this was so funny! I'm a fitness flunie too - you are in fine, flabby company!

Have a good evening - Kellan

Debbie Yost said...

Good luck. I hate exercise. Everytime I think of eating better I seem to crave the really bad stuff. It's so unfair. Why can't we just crave carrots?

Spammon said...

At my last job me and a group of guys went to the gym every day for lunch. It was like clockwork. 2 years straight. It even motivated me to do it at night as well. Then I left that job and left lifting as well. I feel the pain.

Shellie said...

I am so with you on this one, I'm trying to diet and exercise. I am a fish out of water. Totally! Love the quote at the end.