It's October, We Can Talk About Christmas

I'll be doing the annual family Christmas letter again this year. My attempts to keep the family up to speed so that I didn't have to produce the agony that is a holiday missive have failed. It appears that nobody cares enough to know what is going on in our family. You'd think this would be reason enough for me to stop the letter writing campaign, but I'm vindictive. You don't care, huh? Well, here. Read this. Again. And look like you're enjoying it while you open it and read right there at the family Christmas party where everyone is watching.

That'll teach them.

Actually, it's the aunts that request the letters each year, and most of them aren't so very computer savvy. I know, if that isn't the pot calling the kettle black I don't know what is. But at least I found my way to the blogosphere, okay? They haven't. The thought of typing in a URL address kinda breaks them out in a cold sweat. I tried not doing the letter, because in reality nobody likes them. Not even me. There are those very few that I look forward to each year, and for varying reasons. My sister-in-law does a bang-up job with hers, and from her I learned that recording the family's life does not have to be mundane and mind-numbing. And then there's the one that makes me want to poke my eyes out with a blunt object. But yet we look forward to it just to see if, somehow, it can be worse than the year before. It rarely fails to disappoint. All others fall somewhere in between.

And on another holiday related note, we got Aunt Clara's Christmas card exceptionally early this year. It was still September when that little piece of holiday cheer arrived. This is a new record. Maybe next year she'll go for Independence Day. Nothing would say happy holidays quite like getting a snow covered postcard in July's mailbox.

Dear Aunt Clara. She's always been The One in the family. You know the type; everyone has them. (We have many, but she manages to stand out above the crowd.) She hasn't bought cards in decades, but instead recycles the cards that are given to her. This is a great idea for those on a fixed income, and she has it down to an art. Sort of. The brilliant part is that she cuts off the fronts of each card and recycles them as post cards, thereby getting around that part where they were lovingly signed by the original sender. The problems started when she forgot who sent her which card. This would not normally be a huge kind of problem, except for the year I put a picture of my kids on the front of the cards I'd sent. That's the card I got from her the next year.

I'm guessing this kind of stuff happened a little too frequently, because now I notice she's using cards from outside sources. Her mother (my gram) remarried a few years back. (Like 12, but when it's your Gram remarrying it's recent history, okay?) Gram lives in Seattle now, and must be sending in her cards from New Grampa's side of the family. Aunt Clara's card this year had written in the margin, almost hidden in the snowy trees, Seattle Recycled.

My family knows how to do Christmas up right.

18 comments:

Pam said...

I don't want to think about the holiday yet- I am not ready.

JennyH said...

Now that is one really early card!! WoW!!

Half-Past Kissin' Time said...

Your strange Aunt cracks me up. As for the letter, I only sent one one year, and I was so happy with it, I know I could never top it, so I won't bother trying :)

Came over by way of your hilarious comment on TheHumanRace. "Party animal." too funny!

Karen said...

Your Aunt Clara makes me miss my husband's Aunt Kitty. She was THE ONE in the family. She died a few years back. In fact it was her life insurance helped pay for part of our adoptions.

Thanks for sharing your family and providing a good chuckle.

Michelle said...

Wow. That's pretty special, actually. I try to get them out right after Thanksgiving (with letter and pics since the wee ones were born -- oops), but this is impressive. And of everyone in my family, I can see myself being The One when I'm a touch older. Just for the fun of it!

Trannyhead said...

I can't believe you got a Christmas card in September. I'd respond by sending an Easter card. Just think - you can save by buying the clearance cards and your aunt will just think you sent it really really early, right?

Andrea said...

Oh dear, I don't even want to think about Christmas. I am so not ready for it. I think I want to run and hide.

I haven't doen Christmas cards in forever! Maybe I will do the super long letter Christmas card thing. I will type it up and print it out and send it off. That sounds wonderful.

Cecily R said...

Aunt Clara is a kick! Sounds like a character in sitcom or something...I think I love her!

The One in our family is Jon's aunt. At my wedding shower (the first time I ever met her) when everyone else was giving me happy advice, hers was to leave Jon if he ever beat me. THAT was cheery.

Burgh Baby said...

You are such an overachiever with that letter writing thing. I figure if anybody wants to know what we're up to, they can pick up a phone. Not that they've ever heard of such a thing or anything.

Caution Flag said...

When my husband was slightly less mature, he received a card for his graduation. It was the same invitation he had sent with his name crossed out and their's signed (along with a tiny amount of money.) My mature husband crossed their names out and signed his and sent it as a thank you.

Trisha said...

Wow - a Christmas card in September! How . . . interesting! I laughed out loud about your Aunt and her recycled cards. Don't you think she realized that your kids were on the front of your card?

imbeingheldhostage said...

holy cow, my husband had to come in and ask me what I was laughing about... just one day. I just want one day to sit in your home and watch your life, there's always something unexpected.

anglophilefootballfanatic.com said...

That sounds like my mother. She always picks a card for a random holiday/event just to mess with people. Like for Puppy's bday next week? I bet he gets something for happy retirement or bereavement. YAY for the loons. They make family FUN.

Momisodes said...

You are so good. I have no idea what I'm doing for Halloween yet, nevermind the holidays.

caramama said...

I love to get those holiday letters! I really do! I just never seem to get it together to write ours, although I always mean to.

Also, it's way to early to be talking about Christmas. Except for maybe your Aunt Clara. She has a pass.

Bia said...

This is so funny . . . there's nothing like family. I remember you mentioning Aunt Clara last year, and I was delighted. Every family needs an Aunt Clara.

Poltzie said...

Awesome! I would love to get a recycled card in September!

Colleen said...

I'm sure it won't be a surprise, but I'm one of those people who writes a letter. I think three people out of the 70 we send out actually read them. Last year I didn't want to send one but did because we only had those same three people respond at all to Cooper's birth. Also? Those same three people read our blogs. I'm thinking this year I will only send out 10 cards...to those three people and to those others that will be all offended if they don't get one (even though they don't send cards themselves)...yeah, we have THOSE kinds of people in my family. :)

p.s. your prior post was very inspirational