Saturday Shop N Swap

If you are a man, or don't like talking about certain female body parts, you may want to skip today's post. I'm just giving you fair warning.


Becky and I headed to Pittsburgh today to get a little shopping in before the aforementioned Burgh Bloggers' Cookie Swap. We dropped the boys off at Grandma's, grabbed some Starbucks, and hit the turnpike.

I wore a white vest and dropped some breakfast on it while on the road. You'd think I'd know better by now. Darn it.

My entire purpose of a shopping trip to Ikea was to get some super cheap dog dishes. Our kennel will soon be done and each dog will have it's own run. This means that each dog needs it's own set of food dishes.

Holy High Heavens! My right boob feels the burn of a thousand fire ants! Oh, the itch! Make the itch go away!!! Gah! You can't scratch your boob in public, what to do? What to do?

So where was I? Dog dishes. Yes. Ikea has them for .49 each and you can't even beat this with a stick. We spent $100. But in my defense I also got a lot of the Christmas shopping knocked off the list and picked up some things at the request of a friend, so it's not all in dog dishes.

Get to the elevator NOW!!! This stinking itch will NOT STOP!!! No, please, we'll wait for the next one, go on. NOW! Okay, it's just us in here, so I can totally look down the shirt and check it out. Look how red and inflamed that poor boob is. What on earth is going on in there?! AHHHHHH!!!!

So we're done at Ikea and head to Bath & Body Works because I have coupons (coupons!!! I love those things) and need to get Christmas gifts for Micah's personal staff. (Teacher, aide, van driver who only hauls him, speech therapist, her receptionist, other speech therapist, OT therapist... I swear that kid needs a salary this time of year just to pay for gifts for everyone.) Look at all the great sales they're having on top of the coupons! Wow, way to score.

GAAAAAHHHHH!!!! What is this intense shooting pain in my right boob? Where did the itch go? It feels like a Botox leak somewhere, only there was never any Botox. Make it stop! Can one double over from the pain of a boob while in public?

We checked out and made a hasty exit to the van where I gave the general parking lot public a peep show. Drat. Nothing. I kinda fully expected to see a dagger stuck in there the way the pain pulsated. What the heck?!

But there was no time to further ponder the booby chronicles because I had me a cookie swap to get to. I have to say, it was one good time and it's too bad that not everyone could be there. The Burgh Bloggers and Plurkers are some of the most fun people to hang with ever. So fun, in fact, that boobs forget to be major pains. That's nice. And? Those ladies are some of the best cookie makers around. I fully admit to sampling one or two on the way home. Okay, three. But that's it - pinkie swear.

I put those bags of sugary goodness in my freezer while the boys are at Grandma's because if they saw them they would inhale them, bag and all. I am not even kidding. My kids are to the point of being ravenous wolves. You'd think I never feed them.

And you know, once I got home, got the van unloaded, took Becky to a sleepover at a friend's and hid the cookies, the booby miraculously recovered. The drive home was a bugger with shooting pains alternating with the itch of a thousand ant bites. I have no earthly idea what went on in that bra today but my right booby looks like it's been attacked by a dozen breast pumps that missed their mark.

Really, it was an interesting day.


Kidzmama said...

You should have kept that Victoria Secrets bra. Your boob is retaliating.

Jennifer said...

wow, you kept your Boobie Trauma well under wraps during the swap! So you have no idea what was wrong? Very odd...

the planet of janet said...

such a mystery...

I am a Tornado ~ proven fact! said...

Jack's fault.

He did it to me too.

I can't be in the same room with an itty bitty baby without my boobs getting all tingly and stuff.

Just hope I don't wake up with a wet tee shirt - okay, that was gross!

Karen Deborah said...

good night nurse, woman you might have had some kind of bug in your bra biting you! Not a thing to ignore! hope your alright something did happen. cookies love cookies.

Michelle said...

Amazing how we can ignore pain with the proper motivation! Here's hoping you figure out the issue soon!

And I'm SO with you on the gifts thing: 3 bus drivers, 2 teachers, 5 aides, 5 therapists, 6 daycare providers. It really adds up, doesn't it? Thankfully we aren't doing piano or swimming right now! ;)

Karen said...

Oh.....I have been there before. Usually, it has been my fault. Itchy bra or fake and baking and not properly protected from the lamps.
You are better than me. I would have b-lined it for the restroom and scratched till the itching stopped.

Shellie said...

That is mysterious. The itch I get but then the pain? Hope you air them out nice and check your bra carefully before wearing it again. Hope there's not a fire ant colony in it.

Gina said...

You're good - I didn't see you scratch even once!

utmomof5 said...

Why do boobs do that? I swear they think it is funny to just decide to itch or be painful just as a funny joke or to watch us squirm in public! Stupid boobs!

Only a $100 at Ikea! That would be a record for me, I can't get out of there for less than at least $150 :)

rebelliousflaw said...

HA! Okay, it kinda sucks to have been you, but your telling of the event was spectacular. I certainly hope you can figure out what the cause was and prevent it from occurring in the future.

And, the cookie swap was marvelous, as I munch on some of the goodies I procured. *nom nom nom*

Trisha said...

Not fun to experience but really fun to read about! Hopefully this was a one-time-only experience for you!

The cookies looked fabulous!

Leanne said...

My 'girls' are itchy just reading about it. I think I'll distract them by thinking about Ikea. :)

Designher Momma said...

that's a crazy boobie story. such a mystery that silly boobie.

wish I had an IKEA close...gah.

Poltzie said...

Really? And you never found out what was causing the boob itch? I've got to know more.
Glad you had a great day. Ikea is like Costco. You can't go there without spending at least $100.00 and you end up with the most random things. Gotta love it!
Glad you had a good day :)

The Sports Mama said...

Ok. So I'm a bit late here. Hope your "girls" are burn free. I can say, with absolute sincerity, that the only place worse than any store to get a boob itch?

Stuck in a car on a somewhat long drive with a car full of nothing else but teenage boys.

Don't ask me how I know this.

Also? That care package? If I just don't tell them what's in the box, they won't open it before I get home. Thereby ensuring that I get first dibs on anything in it. :)