The Potty Chronicles

Just when you think it might be safe to dip a toe back in the water, you realize that the sharks have been circling without your knowledge.

Things on the potty training front aren't progressing like you think they should. (Do they ever?) In fact, the whole concept of Pull-Ups is not grasped by the one who wears them. To Micah, they're just a diaper. One that has a tendency to leak every time you pee, but that's alright because this is the summer that he's decided to tackle that sensory issue that he has and he can now walk around wet and not have it bother him. Go, Micah.

Being the conscientious mom that I am (stop laughing) I don't like for him to walk around in wet pants because he'll either get pee on my leather sofa (screw the carpet, it's half decayed already) or he'll look like he peed himself when we're in public. Which is exactly what he did. Sort of.

Becky was at physical therapy the other day and I realized that there was yet another Pull-Ups fail so I rushed him to the restroom to dispose of that thing discreetly. Micah peed while we were there. This left him sans protection for the duration of our foray into town because I keep the pouch with extra gear in the van and I was driving the car. I'm smart that way. Micah peed twice more in the fifteen minutes that we were at the gym just because I needed to keep him entertained, and Mr. I Pee A Lot is always glad to produce a stream upon command.

You can imagine, then, that when we got to Wal-Mart I thought that he was peed out. Silly me. I found out otherwise when I was at the jewelry counter looking for a new watch because mine died. Micah is in the habit of climbing out of the cart (very stealthily, I might add) and walking off, so I am in the habit of turning around to look at him (and sometimes give him the evil eye) every 2.8 minutes. At one of these safety checks I realized the error of my ways because Micah was sitting in the basket of the cart, peeing right down through the grids and onto the floor where a nice puddle had already formed. I bought the watch and hurried him to the car so that we could strip him out of his wet shorts and get home.

I never gave a thought to him having to go in the car (no, he didn't. There ARE limits here) but the moment that he opened his door, he climbed out and stood there and pooped in the driveway. I swear, the dogs are better trained than that boy is. You just can't take him anywhere without a pooper scooper and a roll of paper towels. And lots of wet wipes. And hand sanitizer.

It's much easier to stay home, you know?

The kiddie pool was empty and today was to be hot and sticky again so I thought I'd do the kids a favor and fill it. There was a little bit of rain water in from yesterday, just enough to fill the bottom, and something else - oooooh, gross! It's poo! Son of Mine, poo goes in water, but the only water we poo in is the toilet. Got it? I know you know what to do. Can you just potty train already?

I am so ready for school to start. Someone else can deal with this for a few months.

13 comments:

AZ Chapman said...

oh boy good luck on the potty training

Debbie Yost said...

Peanut's progress hasn't been much better. In fact, last week I put her in underwear just to see what she did. She peed in her pants and just kept playing without missing a beat. We were outside so I didn't rush in to change it. I wanted to see if she ever cared that she was wet. Nope, never. So much for being diaper free by the end of 2009.

Michelle said...

I know I shouldn't giggle, but ... I sorta have to. Did you at least alert the Wal-Mart folks to the puddle? ;)

Micah's such a neat kid (really)!

MoonNStarMommy said...

OMGosh........ I've been through 2 potty training ...... and I have 2 more to go. Seriously - I can only hope the babies are easy, but - I digress - they will probably be worse then the first two...

Molly C said...

look at that tushie! My little sister will be thrilled to know that her ex boyfriend isn't the only one who has pooped in his own driveway.

At least you know he's got super functional kidneys...

the planet of janet said...

love love love the quarter slot.

he *is* marching to his own drummer, isn't he?

Trisha said...

Stay strong! You can handle this - even though I know it doesn't feel like it at times. And - just a suggestion - you might want to get together an "emergency" pack for the car too!

Viv said...

Just the thought of potty training makes me want to cry, my 3 year old does basically everything you have just described...and then some.

JennyH said...

I feel for you and laugh ALONG with you! I hate potty training. Joe made a couple of puddles in stores when I first put him in undies. But now Joe does awesome. Max,although potty trained, can have a million accidents in one day but none the next. I have realized he must be too comfy at home. He gets his undies damp at home, changes them and then repeat. Since school started he hasn't had one accident yet -- knock on wood!

Pooping in the driveway is a good one! Joe has pooped in the back yard before.

Try to stay sane!

Karen Deborah said...

oh my gawd Karen, you did have a bad day. God made him extra cute so you won't kill him, don't worry. Help, I don't know how you do it. I have no advice whatsoever, just a hug...

HalfAsstic.com said...

Bless your heart Karen! It will get better some day... I know, I know, WHEN?
That last pic reminds me of the fact that the battle cry around here is now, "Can you see butt crack?!" Heh

Fishsticks and Fireflies said...

The fact that this is the norm for you and that you are still sane make me want to bow down to you! Cooper is still the kid that could wet his pants and not give a darn, while Maren is insistent on changing her panties if she even dribbles on them!

Krista said...

My heart goes out to you! I just couldn't go through potty training ever again! I hope he "gets it" soon!