I'm Just Being Honest Here, Mostly Because I Don't Know What Else To Be

Micah has been in second grade for six days now. He has a new teacher this year, which is a change. He's had the same teacher for the past 2 years and we expected this to be a bit different for him. Difficult, even. He takes change fairly well, all things considered, but one must remember that part of his disability gives him some autistic tendencies. Changes of big kinds can be taken in stride, small ones may flip his world. Or vice versa. There seems to be no rhyme or reason with our boy, and that also seems to be a character trait of his disability.

The first day of school went very well, and we kind of sighed with relief. That sigh was premature. Things deteriorated quickly after that. By the third day Micah was in time out, and it seems to be the norm daily. Both he and the teacher are frustrated with each other, and I know this from the notes that she sends home.

I'm not blaming the teacher. I'm not blaming Micah. I'm not blaming anything on anyone. What I am doing is lamenting the fact that this will probably be the new normal with Micah. I fear that as he gets older it will be more difficult to determine exactly where he is, or where he should be, and what to do with him as a student.

In church, we've kept him back in the preschool class because that seemed to be more of his ability level. He's getting rather large, physically, for that class. When he plays he sometimes throws his weight around, and considering he weighs twice what some of the other kids do (literally) it can be a problem. His friends are moving up as they get older, and he is still in preschool. Are we doing right by him? Are we holding him back?

I moved him up to the first and second grade class for Wednesday night kids' club. I thought he would enjoy moving up with his peers. He didn't understand why he couldn't go back to the preschool class, and cried. Is it too much change with school and now kids' club? Should we acclimate him in one area before advancing in all areas? Should we just assume he'll have a bit of transition but will be fine in a few weeks, because it's only what all kids go through?

When Micah was a year old, I asked the pediatrician if I could give him strawberries and fish, or should we wait until his mental age reached a one year old's level? I mean, if several different aspects of him were developing slower, would his digestive system be behind as well? Should we risk the allergies? The doctor had no idea what the answer would be to that question.

That seems to be the recurring theme in this parenting journey with Micah. Nobody seems to know what to do with Micah, or where to place him, or what to expect from him at this stage in life. Sadly, we're right there with the Nobodies.

I need an instruction manual. And a whole lot of prayer time.


Anonymous said...

My son's first grade teacher was frustrated with him for most of the year. Sometimes, certain personalities just clash.

Is it possible to switch teachers?( I'm not blaming her. I'm just saying a year is a long time for two people to be unhappy with one another.)

You are an awesome mom. Micah is blessed to have you and your family. Hugs & prayers!

Karen Deborah said...

i agree with anonymous, it could be a bad fit. have you met with her? we all need an instruction manual thhe onle one i have is the

and prayer.

because he is getting very big he does need to leave preschool just for safety, but go where is a good question. sounds like your overwhelmed and hurting for him right now. all the memories of his happy days last year don't help. let's pray that God will help everyone in his life.and wisdom and direction flow down like honey.

Karen said...

Anon - Unfortunately, the way the school is set up there are no other teachers for him. I've met her and she seems very nice, but I think I'll be meeting with her again to talk specifically about Micah.

Annette W. said...

I think your wise to meet with the teacher again.

Sorry, I don't really have any other words for you.

Burgh Baby said...

I wish I had some wise sort of advice, but as you know, I've got nothing except for an ear to listen if you need it.

JennyH said...

I hate when that happens. Max didn't fit well into his 2nd grade class. I just think some teachers click with Max and others don't. Last year is the year that we was pulled out into Resource for a huge amount of time. Although I fought it, after awhile I had to go with it b/c if the teacher doesn't want him in there, why do I? She never said she didn't want him in there but I got the idea.

I would meet with the teacher again. Hopefully the 2 of you can problem solve on what will work best for Micah. Good luck. I know how you feel. We are one of the "Nobodies" as well!

Michelle said...

Ohhh I wish I had an answer for you. A hug instead?

I hope the year gets easier at some point.... Ther eis no one definite answer, but you're a great mom, and you'll get there by feel! Keep those lines of communication open though.

Michelle said...

I'm sorry Micah is having trouble adjusting to the changes of the Wed night class and to his 2nd grade teacher. I hope that after the first few weeks of school he'll start settling in to his new routine and everything will smooth itself out!