Things That Are Epically Wrong This Week

One should never take their iPod Touch into the restroom with them to occupy their time when they know they'll be in there for a while. Especially when that while is because you have a rumbly in your tummy.

When you hear an iPod clinking on porcelain, you have the right to pray that it hit the outside rim of the bowl and not the inside. You may pray out loud, too, and it would also be acceptable. In a moment of desperation you can even pray that said iPod skid across the floor into the next stall (oh, yeh, public restroom no doubt) and that unfortunate soul next door would have the honor of embarrassing the socks off you by asking, "um, is this yours?"

When that scenario doesn't even come to pass, and you realize that the clink of iPod against porcelain did indeed result in your iPod trying to give itself a swirly in biohazardous waste, you can now both wretch and cry. At the same time.

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When you are at the gynecologist for your annual exam and are told that you are now old enough to be given the Full Workup, you are entitled to feel your age. And make a face as you cringe.

You may also wonder who on earth came up with the Entertain The Patient Fluorescent Light Covers. Seriously? As if contemplating why planets, mountains, lighthouses, butterflies, birds, mammals, fish, an entire coral reef and rainbows (among other things) are all featured on one picture will make you forget that someone is plumbing the depths of your nether regions, and planting a flag to claim it as explored.

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Despite my advanced age, I was given a pregnancy test as part of the Full Workup. At least it was negative. I needed that one bright spot this week. And it's only Monday. The week can only get better, right?

12 comments:

Annette W. said...

Great picture!

Despite getting the full workup...you are not old...just at the right age!

Sorry to hear your iPod is no longer. :(

jayna said...

Aww man, that stinks about the iPod. I'm constantly giving myself a heart attack by leaving my phone in my back pocket only to have it slide out and just miss the bowl.

And, um, yay on the negative! :-)

Brandie said...

Um, is the iPod salvageable? So yucky.

Sorry about the full workup. But, thanks for giving the rest of us girls advance warning!

the planet of janet said...

wow.

um. yeah.

all of it.

Debbie @ Three Weddings said...

I sure hope so. My Monday wasn't much better.

I'm a little worried about that "whole work-up" thing and I'm older than you are. But then again, I'm glad I finally found a GYN who doesn't give you the "blue moon" treatment as my hubby used to call it.

Trisha said...

Love the phrase "bio-hazard swirly" but don't like to think about actually having it happen to me! So sorry!

Knifty Thrifty said...

R.I.P. Ipod.

Michelle said...

The week has GOT to get better. So sorry about your iPod. Irretrievably damaged?

And the light covers? I think they're for annoying people like me who find the florescent lights to bright and can now have them at least slightly muted. Maybe?

Flea said...

Oh ew. You poor thing. So is the mammogram next? Because that's even more fun. Woo.

Driven To Distraction said...

I am so, so sorry about the iPod - really and truly! I adore my little pink music box and would just die if it met an untimely death!

And what exactly does the full work-up entail over the usual work-up?! And Flea is right about the mammogram - though I think I would still take a complete stranger smashing my boobs between plates over a complete stranger introducing themselves to my crotch.

wendy said...

Sorry about your iPod. Love all your pictures. Hope the rest of your week goes great!

JennyH said...

You can always make me laugh! Sorry though about all involved.