Dear Santa, Come Soon

There are certain things that you tell kids to get them to comply with your requests. Things like "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" and "early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise" and the ever popular "if you don't go to sleep the tooth fairy will never come." At Christmastime, these phrases of compliance become our daily mantra to get through the season with as much merry intact as possible. We are also not above making up new phrases of compliance if we need to.

Several years ago I came up with one that I've been using ever since. It goes like this:

The sooner you get to sleep, the sooner Santa comes.

It worked wonders in the calming down and laying still department. They tried hard to lay quietly, and still harder to close their eyes. But the giggling and rampant running were quelled, so I took it as a victory on my part.

It's our family tradition that the kids sleep under the tree Christmas Eve. Or on the living room floor, as Under the Tree just isn't big enough for 4 kids. Because it was Christmas Eve, and the excitement was running higher than our chimney, Luke asked if they could sleep on the floor again this year. (See: We do this every year. See also: The excitement was running high.) I said that's what we do every year, but remember, the sooner you go to sleep, the sooner Santa comes.

It was at this point that Becky said, "that makes no sense whatsoever. It doesn't matter how soon Santa arrives, we still can't open gifts until we get up."

Gee, dear, when did you figure that out? Last year?

"No. Just now, actually."

That, my friends, is the intelligent logic of a teen.