Failure Is His Sport

Micah has been failing hearing tests since birth. It's another of his awesome super powers. When he was a teeny tiny baby of just 2 weeks old, he slept through a test, and still managed to fail. After that, things went dowhill in a hurry. Way back then, he'd purposely sleep in the van on the way so that he could be wide awake for the test. Being wide awake was not a good thing since the test required Micah to be very, very still. Ever try to hold a newborn very, very still? I'm not sure why they have ants in their pants, but keeping a baby from moving should be considered an Olympic sport. We never mastered that sport, either. He failed test after test.

As he got older, he was able to just sit through a test, with instructions to sit still and listen. The sound insulated booth blocked all outside noise, which just made things like your thoughts that much louder. There were zero distractions, and yet Micah failed the tests. He was bored, and fidgeted in his chair, so he didn't even try to listen for quiet sounds. He was given a book to help keep him focused quietly, but he'd get so engrossed in a book that even when I knew he heard something, he'd refuse to look up to acknowledge the sound.

Over the past 8 years, Micah has gotten skilled in failing tests, hence his super power in that aspect. Today was no different. Because of his ear drum fusing itself to his middle ear, an accurate per-ear reading was necessary to determine if that ear was damaged from the fusion or not. This is best done by headphones, which Micah wanted less than nothing to do with. In a fit of generosity, he allowed us to put them on him, but they were off by the time the technician was in her seat on the other side of the window. I knew that forcing him to wear the headphones would result in a pouty fit of noncooperation, and that would be completely unconducive for accurate testing.

I swear, sometimes it's easier dealing with the dogs than it is that boy.

So after simply listening to piped in sounds, and responding rather appropriately most of the time, it was determined that his hearing is the same as it has been, for better or worse. There has been no permanent damage done, and that's a very good thing. But Micah did learn a new way to fail a test today. If you place your hands over your ears, that signals to everyone that you are so over this whole shebang.

Ironically, he loves hearing tests. He cannot wait to get in that sound booth, and dances with glee when it's his turn to go. I think it's because he's that excited to try out new methods to make our heads explode.