What Aisle Is The Boring In, Please?

Life with Micah is never, ever dull. As I was saying something about this very thing to a friend, while Micah was eating his mayo-less McChicken and apple slices, I had to interrupt our conversation to say, "Micah, please don't put food in your straw," because he was balling up tiny pieces of his bun and trying to stuff them into his drink. We're pretty sure he backwashes on purpose to keep others from sharing a drink with him, and this pretty much confirms it. If he can't backwash sufficiently while using a straw, he'll just fill the straw with food bits so that any unsuspecting soul that wants to refresh themselves will have to chew parts of their drink. And that'll be the very last time that unsuspecting soul ever refreshes themselves with anything that was within a country mile of Micah.

These things happen daily in our lives. We have no concept of what normal should look like anymore. Some days this disturbs me. Most days I feel sorry for the other families who must live incredibly boring lives.

And we're a traveling road show, too. There was that year Micah mooned an restaurant on Father's Day. That was a fun day. There have been so many lesser events, too numerous to mention. Have I mentioned that life is fun?

We were shopping at SAM's Club when Micah needed a restroom break. Becky and I waited for the boys to return, and heard them before we saw them. Their laughter announced their return from the mens' room. Apparently there weren't enough urinals for all the boys to use at the same time, and Micah was the slowest to get there. He blames Luke for everything that goes wrong in the universe (even if Luke isn't there) so he immediately yelled at Luke for standing in a spot that was clearly designated for Micah. Luke ignored Micah, because Micah yells at Luke approximately 4,381,302 times per day. It gets old. If Luke would just stop breathing all Micah's air, the world would probably be a more peaceful place.

But Micah doesn't like being ignored. At all. And he especially doesn't like when Luke takes things that he perceives as being his. Like urinals in public places. So he did what anyone would do in the situation. (And by "anyone," I really mean NO ONE.) Micah dropped his drawers and walked up behind Luke BECAUSE IT WAS HIS URINAL AND HE WAS GOING TO USE IT WHETHER LUKE WAS THERE OR NOT. As you can imagine, Luke wasn't there very long.

It's not like we can avoid ever being in public again, so if you see our circus coming to your town, just smile and wave, because while they're our monkeys and our circus, there's not much we can do about the show.

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