I've Fallen To Be That Parent

First of all, don't judge me. We all have days like this, right?

I started with this head cold last weekend, and up until yesterday around 4:00 it was just that. And then it was SO MUCH MORE, OHMYGOSH. It cut me down mid-day without prior warning. I was pretty much comatose with fever and delirium for a few hours before NyQuil took over and I was able to actually sleep. If I was still choking on my own phlegm, I was blissfully unaware.

So this morning when I woke to get Micah ready for school, I vaguely remembered that he should have pants in the dryer to wear since there were none in his dresser. I stumbled down the stairs, headed to the laundry room and .... nothing was in the dryer. I hadn't ever shuffled the laundry from the washer when it was done.

No worries. I had enough time to pull a single pair of sweat pants out and have them dry before he had to walk out the door. And as a bonus, they'd be toasty warm for him as he headed out into the cold.

Being still half asleep and suffering from NyQuil Wear-Off, it took me a few moments to realize that the clothes in the washer were dry. And then it took me a few more moments to realize why. Apparently I'd started that load after I was stricken with The Plague, and only thought I started it. Simply placing dirty clothing in the washing machine doesn't do a whole lot to get them clean.

That's when I made the executive decision to pull a pair of pants, spray them with Febreeze, and tumble them in the dryer for a few minutes to freshen them up, because Micah needed pants to wear to school. But hey, at least they were toasty warm for him as he headed out into the cold.

The Jammy Fail

I have been sitting at craft fairs the last two weekends with a table full of dog collars and toys, promoting Darla Jane's.  I have met a lot of fun people, and a lot of even more fun dogs. Ironically, I was beside the very same vendor at each event. What are the odds of this? Slim, I'd guess, and yet it was the way things were. This vendor was a consultant for Jamberry Nails.

If you're not familiar with Jamberry, you must really be living under a rock. No, really. I am not a girly girl. I do not follow fashion. I rarely host home parties and am invited to just as few. But with the modern day of everyone sharing their life on Facebook, Twitter and the like, I have become very familiar with Jamberry. It is a line of vinyl nail stickers that come in almost-way-too-many color and design choices, and are purported to last up to 2 weeks (or even longer, if you're lucky!). I will admit to being intrigued by these things, but not enough to actually buy them. I have my reasons, and they're good ones.

The consultant I spent the last two weekends with has been very helpful in talking me into trying the product line. She has given me all the information I can process, and even some that I can't. She happily showed me her nails from the previous week to further prove how well they last and how fresh they still looked. (They really did.) And then she even gave me a free sample, because free samples are the best way to sell someone on a product. I mean, once you have that wrap on your nail and it lasts a few weeks and looks super fabulous through the holiday season, you're going to want that same quality of awesome on your other nails, too, right?

Yeh. And then there's me.

Rules for putting the stickers on:

1. Choose the right size for your finger, or in my case, the right sized finger for the free sample.

2. Wash your hands with Dawn dish soap, and clean the nail with alcohol or white vinegar.

3. The "cold method" allows you to simply place the sticker on your nail, press it down well, and then apply a heating pad to seal it.

4. Trim the excess off the end of your nail.

5. Don't get your hands wet for a few hours until it's completely bonded to your nail.

6. You will have fabulous nails that will be the envy of all you meet, and you will want to call your consultant and order many sets of even more fabulous stickers.

One of the reasons I told this kind lady that I was not interested in the product was that I didn't have time to do my nails. I'm not kidding. I simply don't have 10-15 minutes of do-nothing time through my day that would be a good time to apply stickers. Especially followed by a few hours of not getting my hands wet. I have puppies. I wash my hands a lot. She suggested putting them on just before bed and then sleeping through the "no water" time. She's genius.

Today, I lost the battle with my head cold. It was a back-and-forth with medication keeping it at bay for a few days, but it came back with a vengeance today and really kicked me. I put aside all work for a bit and just sat down. And that's when I thought about the nail wraps and how this would be a good time to play with them.

Here's what happened:

1. I chose my pinky finger to place the wrap on, because the wrap was tiny. Turns out, my hands are tinier. I had to peel it off and put the sticker on my ring finger instead.

2. I don't have Dawn, washed recently after playing with puppies, and simply used vinegar on my nails. I did do this before applying the sticker, so there's that.

3. I applied the sticker, and as careful as I tried to be, I suck at things like this. I know this. This is why I didn't want anything to do with them, because the whole world would  know what a failure I am at simple things. I verrrrrry carefully aligned the sticker over my nail, then verrrrrry slowly eased it down onto the nail. It was crooked. And also didn't fit well. It was a tiny bit too small for my ring finger, yet too big for my pinky. For Pete's sake. I let it on my ring finger, and cut it off with scissors because I could use the other side for my other hand. That hand, however, was my right hand and my left hand is even worse at aligning small things. This sticker extended up onto my skin and had a wrinkle in it. It looked like a 2 year old applied it. It was fabulous....ly sucky. I held the heating pad to my hands religiously, trying to make right with heat what I did wrong.

4. I trimmed the excess with nail clippers.

5. I then forgot about the things and took a hot, soaking bath because my whole head felt like it was going to explode from sinus pressure and I needed to steam some things loose. It worked, for as long as I was in the tub.

6. My nails aren't exactly fabulous. I'm not wow-ing anyone, either. In fact, they started lifting (shocker!), and while the consultant said another application of the heating pad would re-seal that, I chose, instead, to just peel them off. It's not like they looked good anyway, because I'm just not good with this kind of stuff.

I'm really not a girly-girl. And I'm okay with this.

Mental Health Day, For The Win

It was ridiculously warm today for being mid December. I'm not complaining about this at all, mind you. If we can spend time in the great outdoors without fear of hypothermia, it's a very good thing indeed. Today was just such a day, so we did just that. We headed up to the state park and spent time n the great outdoors.

We live in a wondrous tourist area that boasts quite a few state parks within a half hour drive from our house. This one in particular is practically in our back yard, being just 2 miles down the road. It's our go-to for a quick get-away from life.

Louie, Micah, Becky and I donned our jackets and went to explore the beach at the lake. The off season ensures that we'll pretty much be the only people there at any given time, and that was the case today. We walked out onto the docks, let Micah swing on the playground for a bit, and walked out to the spillway.

Micah's sensory issues were flaring today, which made it hard for him to be on the sand. He wanted to be on the sand, mind you, but sand really bothers him. It's a texture thing. Even with his shoes on, he was bothered. He picked his way across the beach to the playground like a soldier would navigate a minefield, and he gagged the whole time. We told him to run so that he would cross it faster, but that resulted in him shuffling on his toes rather than his whole feet, and didn't increase his speed at all. It was rather comical to watch, even if he was suffering. But he gamely tolerated the sand because he had his eye on the swings as his prize at the end.

Of course we let him swing for a while as a reward. Swinging is good for his sensory malfunctions. It seems to reset his balance in life. Louie, however, was sure that swings were something to bark at. The dog is hilarious. If Louie wouldn't be such a mama's boy and never venture more than 10' from my side, I think the and Micah would be the best of pals. The two even learned how to play fetch together this afternoon, and that was a treat to watch.

"Micah, Louie has to see the stick before you throw it. No, he wasn't looking. Show it to him."

"Micah, don't throw it that far, Louie won't go that far from me."

"Micah, you have to throw it once he sees it. If you keep hiding it from him and running, he'll get bored. Yep, Louie is done."

But somehow they figured it out between them and played together for quite a while. It was a spectacular December day at the park.