Training Dogs

When we were building our house two years ago my husband's boss was also building. His wife was getting all new furniture for her new house and he kindly asked my husband if we'd like to make an offer on their old furniture. Being the head radiologist we correctly assumed that their "old" furniture was better than anything we could ever afford to purchase.

So we were at their house with our four children in tow, trying to make a good first impression and secretly pinching the kids to make them behave. (Not really, but we seriously threatened them before getting there.) Mrs. Radiology offered to keep the kids upstairs to watch TV while we trooped to the basement. After choosing what we wanted we went back upstairs to find the kids surrounding her and eating crackers as fast as she could spread them. Oh, the mortification. We'd just ate before going there, you know. What is it with kids trying to clean out a pantry in every house they're in?

So as we gather the troops and struggle with hats and gloves (it was winter) our then 4 year old pipes up. (Now I have to tell you that this is the child that will grow up to be a lawyer. His mind is sharp and he puts a twist on everything.) Mr. & Mrs. Radiology's dogs (named CT and XRay - for real!) had been barking the whole time.

Our dear son: You need to train your dogs. Cringe
Mrs. Radiology: Yes, we do. We've got a new one and we can't stop her barking.
Our dear son: You know how we train our dogs?

At this point we were terrified that he would say that we own and use a shocking collar. This isn't always received well by some people, and if you're one of those please know that we only use it when our dogs choose to have selective hearing. And it beeps before shocking so that when we only beep it they know they'd better listen. We use it as an attention getter rather than a punishment.

Mrs. Radiology: No, how do you train your dogs?
Our dear son: We run over them or shoot them!

Oh, why didn't he say that we own and use a shocking collar?! We made a quick exit and left a hat in our haste. Mr. Radiology returned it to my husband the next day at work and said he set up a psych evaluation for him. Great sense of humor.

And to this day Mrs. Radiology still asks if our son has trained any dogs. Where on earth did he get this? We questioned him on it, and he was quite adamant that one should never run over or shoot a dog. Well, duh!

Out of the mouth of babes.