To Whom It May Concern:

This letter is in direct regards to my shopping venture last Friday. You know, the day of the big snow storm. Yes, I realize that I should have not gone out with such weather expected, but I am not an idiot and know how to drive in bad weather.

First of all I'd like to address the Diaper Deck situation. I recognize that providing facilities for patrons is a privilege and I certainly appreciate it. And I love even more when your facilities have facilities upon which to change my little one's diaper. But what is up with not providing a garbage can near the diaper changing area? What is your line of reasoning on this? What, exactly, do you wish for me to do with a diaper full of stink? Because it takes two hands to properly put a diaper on a child, and that leaves exactly zero hands to hold a used diaper. Is there protocol I should follow that I'm missing? Because if you think that I should roll that diaper up and walk to the other end of the restroom to throw it away while my child is laying on the Diaper Deck unattended, you have another thought coming. So please do not complain if I have to lay/drop that stink on the floor and it leaks a little. Trust me, I do not plan for my child to take a dump in your establishment, but in the event that it happens I would appreciate having a trash can to dispose of it in. And placing it near the diaper changing area would just seem to make all kinds of sense.

And to all you people out there that are afraid to drive in bad weather - stay home. It's that simple. I understand that you have to get home from work, and if that is the case you've a right to be on the road. But for the love of all that is holy, when there are 27 cars behind you and your maximum speed within a 20 minute span is 15 mph, please pull over and let us pass. The accidents that you are obviously terrified of? Are caused by idiots like you who creep up hills and do not allow us to get momentum enough to grip the road. You are just lucky that we managed not to have an accident due to your slow driving or so help me, I would have run up to your still-moving car and pummelled you. We were ever so grateful when you turned off on another road and left us a clear path to home. We traveled at the breakneck speed of 40 mph in such horrendous conditions and never once did we slip, slide or skid. Tomorrow? Stay home.

But to the poor man in the white car who could not for love or money keep it from veering into the ditch every 174 yards, I'm glad for your sake that you pulled into the nearest convenience store. This may have been to change your pants, but I'm glad you at least made it there safely. You should probably get a new set of tires.

Sincerely,

The Driver In The Compact Car With The 5 Year Old Who's Not Potty Trained

27 comments:

Melissa said...

Yikes, sounds like a hectic trip!!

Madame Queen said...

"this may have been to change your pants" made me laugh out loud!

What is up with the diaper changing stations not having a trash can nearby? I really love it when those things actually have the little paper covers that you can put down, but that is a rare, rare occurence.

Flea said...

Love your sign off. :) What a crazy world, huh? I'd be one of those 15 MPH people, but I'd also pull off for people to pass.

anglophilefootballfanatic said...

Way to preach it Karen. And, I took your advice. I hear the intial change from pure rain to rain with sleet & high tailed it to MDO to retrieve the banshee two hours early. Smart move. I don't do winter weather.

Pam said...

hey- I love your new look! Way to change it up!

You are cracking me p on this one! Too funny- I almost peed myself laughing!!

Nap Warden said...

Ugh!

Love the new look:)

Blogget Jones said...

This is beautiful! I can see it all! And I think I have....in my old hometown, no one could drive in the snow. No one. Here, I'm the one lacking experience with serious snow, so what do I do? I stay home.

:o) BJ

Spammon said...

Amen sister! There are drivers and there are obstacles. I'm glad to meet a fellow driver. :)

Becky L said...

no garbage can near the diaper changing station? How crazy is that!

Lori said...

this made me laugh... and I totally know what you mean about the diaper pail, I've gotten pretty good at my diaper shots in those situations and if it misses... that's their fault for not having the trash can closer!

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

It would be a perfect world if only you and me were driving around when it was snowing. I trust you would stay out of my way.

I'm willing to go without trash cans if, and only if, all the fine establishments that do not have changing stations at all, or only have them in the ladies room, would please wake up and smell the poopy diaper that I really don't want to change on the table as other patrons are eating (but I will before I change the kid on the bathroom floor).

LOVE the new header and the new color choice for the background. LOVE!

kimmy said...

Hey, I think that driver made it all the way to Maine! For some reason I always get stuck behind the slow-pokes!

Kimmy

nutmeg96 said...

"This may have been to change your pants" -- LMAO!!! :)

Andrea said...

Amen!! I totally agree!! I have not figured out why there aren't trash cans closer to a changing station? The desingner must not have any kids. Great post!!

utmomof5 said...

I am not a fan of driving in the snow, what can i say I am a So. Calif. girl but I am at least smart enough to either stay home or drive not like the man who needed ot change his pants.

Christina

caramama said...

Amen, sistah!

And the diaper set up? Definitely done by someone who doesn't have kids.

I love the new look! What a great pic in your header!

jessica said...

what a day! love the blue.

THE MOM BOMB said...

I am a bad snow driver, and I have been chastened!

Kellan said...

Some days are just more trouble than they are worth - aren't they?

Thanks for coming by and thanks for your prayers for our sweet baby. Take care and I'll see you soon. Kellan

Maria said...

Did you have a frusterating day too? I with you on the garbage can issue.

Teachin' this mommy new tricks! said...

OH sorry to hear about the tough trip!

Sniz said...

I love, love, love this post. I'm still laughing! The diaper deck thing was hilarious and so true and you told it so dryly and so well, but the whole "better drive slow if there's a little snow" thing drives my husband and I crazy. We talk about it a lot.
And the five year old who's not potty trained? Girl, hang in there. Hang in there. You rock, you know.

Jonny's mommy said...

As someone who worries about the snow yet still drives in it...I apologize and then laugh my butt off at your hilarious post. Whoo...I needed that! Thanks for sharing!

Sandy C. said...

Amen to that! TRash cans and slow drivers! And may I add...if they provide liners for toilets, why not for the diaper decks??

Colleen said...

I'm with ya on the non-snow drivers...and we've GOT plenty in Virginia. Unless it's 65 and overcast, these fools can't drive. They also fail to realize that their 4-wheel drive is NOT a 4-wheel STOP. ;)

Tootsie Farklepants said...

I'd be at home. I don't do snow.

Kari said...

You Tell them Sister!!! I LMBO this entire read HAHAAAAAAA Still laughin!