Really, Is It All That Hard?

I so appreciate my mother-in-law. She taught her sons wonderful bathroom habits. I thought I was following suit when I potty trained our first two boys. (The third has yet to break the diaper habit.) I taught them to aim into the water, to flush, to wipe when you have to sit. And then, as any good mom does, I turned them loose to practice these habits on thier own. But somewhere along the way things went sadly awry.

One of our children refused to wipe for the longest time. I know this because of the evidence in the underwear AND the toilet. So this child also refused to flush. And yet, upon questioning, everyone flushes. How dare I accuse someone of NOT flushing. I had some nerve. I am proud to announce, however, that this child now both wipes and flushes. Thank goodness, because it could be embarrasing to send a child to college who lacks these skills.

But that is one child. There are others who still won't flush. I don't know if it's because when boys stand they think they've contributed nothing worthy of flushing or what. But I'm here to tell you that it should be flushed. Because after half a dozen times of such contributions things get quite aromatic. As in eyes watering, we're about to die of the fumes kind of aromatic. Please play with that shiny little handle on the back of the toilet that you must surely see as you're standing there facing it. It makes a fun sound, and water swirls around and goes down a tiny hole. It's fun, trust me.

I could possibly live with the lack of flushing because a simple flick of said handle takes care of it, and an open window and half a can of spray will take care of the smell. But it's the lack of aim that drives me insane. I've addressed this over and over. The results vary. I have one child who, with real tears in his eyes, will tell me that it's too hard to hit the toilet. I find this incredibly difficult to believe, but because of the tears I let the subject drop with a warning to be more careful. Please. Although my husband questioned this the other day and I told him that it's too hard for the kids to aim. The kids laughed at me and found it quite amusing that I would come up with that kind of reasoning. I mean, the toilet is huge and you'd have to be an idiot to miss it. It's no wonder I'm on the edge of insanity.

And then there are the things that my children do for the express purpose of making me wonder where on earth they were raised. One child wipes, but throws the toilet paper in the trash. What!?!! Trust me, I did not teach anyone that. And there's one child who stands up to wipe. Because when I was potty training I'd stand them up so that I could do the job easier. This child is incredibly literal and I had no idea that I was teaching this. At least they wipe now.

But my very favorite is the ever elusive high-pee. At a restaurant once Luke came back from the restroom and was so thrilled that he did a high-pee. We were quite clueless, and as we were with friends we tried dismissing this as quickly as possible. These people didn't have children and you can only imagine what they were thinking at this point anyway. We kind of forgot about this incident until several weeks later at home he said the same thing. We questioned it only to hear, "you know, when you pee high." We just couldn't grasp the situation. (Call us stupid.) I walked by the bathroom one day to see him nearly hitting the ceiling as he was standing at the potty. I suddenly had a clue. A clue what a high-pee was, and a clue why the bathroom perpetually reeked. I scrubbed the toilet, the floor, the tub, the shower curtain, the wall behind the toilet, the side of the under sink cabinet. I never thought to scrub the ceiling. I guess since Daddy was in the Air Force, the motto truly is Aim High.

22 comments:

Momisodes said...

OMG. "High-pee?"

I'm so sorry :)

utmomof5 said...

Glad to know it is not just my boys :)

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Make him clean it next time! Yuck. Your future daughter-in-law will thank you for cracking down now.

Michelle said...

Wow. I think this is about the point where I hand over that scrub brush, grab a magazine and camp outside the bathroom door until the room is clean. And you mean the no flush thing doesn't magically go away on the 5th birthday? I'm so bummed!

Aimee said...

Our kids are also problem flushers. We are using baby steps to try to change their ways, "If it's yellow let mellow, if it's brown flush it down." It's not working so well.

Bluepaintred said...

wow. I have three boys, 4,6,& 8. My dad, brother, father in law, and every other male* who knows what I am about to tell you think I the meanest mom in the world.

My boys ALL sit down to pee.

My four year old doesn't even know that standing is an option yet.

My older boys are allowed to stand to pee anywhere but home - school, their grandparents , mall bathrooms - just NEVER at home. And I know they stick to my sit to pee rule because none of them have the decency to shut the bathroom door yet.

I have yet to figure out how to get them to flush all the time, and they still have trouble remembering to wipe, but at least I am not cleaning pee off the ROOF!!!!!!

* hubs supports the sit to pee rule. He said that since hedoesnt clean the bathroom, I can do what I like to keep it clea

Andrea said...

Boys, that is all I have to say. I do make my 7 year old clean the bathroom. He gets all round the toilet and everything. If he is going to pee like crazy then he is going to clean like crazy!! I love boys.

Cecily R said...

High pee...still makes me laugh like an idiot.

pb&j in a bowl said...

High pee? That's hilarious! But it also makes me really happy to have a girl.

Flea said...

I think you've mentioned the high pee before. It's nothing at all like a Hi C. Unfortunately.

Thank you for making me grateful this morning! My Little Guy spilled an entire bowl of grits in the carpet, called the dogs, went to make more grits and eat before the bus came. Put his socks on feet still covered in grits. When asked (WTH?!), "I'm just going to wash these socks"

Into the kitchen where I find open sugar container, sugar everywhere, and a sticky floor. The grits weren't contained to the carpet. I hadn't actually planned to scrub floors today. No way around it now. One of the rare times I miss homeschooling, because he'd be on his hands and knees right now, scrubbing that floor.

Melissa said...

Ya know, even little girls can leave a mess on the toilet. I seriously have to wipe the toilet down every time before I use it...can I just tell you how much fun that is? NOT!

Trisha said...

Too funny! Makes me really, really, really thankful that I don't have any little boys running around! Getting a kitten litter trained is/was hard enough without thinking of washing the ceiling!

Trannyhead said...

BWAHAHAHAHA on the high pee. I'm impressed - truly. And a bit jealous - I wish I could do that.

Caution Flag said...

I also have one who always puts the used tissue paper in the trash. WHY?

The high pee? I actually understand that one. Please don't tell anyone.

the planet of janet said...

please explain the toilet paper in the trash thing. where the HOLY HECK do they get that from? (yes, my kids have done it. i. do. not. understand.)

high pee is an interesting game. i'm glad we never played it at my house.

ugh.

Kidzmama said...

High pee! I'm still laughing. At our house we have one girl and one boy old enough to go by themselves. I charge each one a dollar when it is obvious who has not flushed. The three year old has very good bathroom habits so far, but flushing the toilet is still so new. The baby, well, not there yet!

The Sports Mama said...

And this is why my son cleans his own bathroom now. Because it gets worse as they get older. I'm still not clear as to WHY it gets worse, but it does, and I have refused to clean it up.

Bia said...

Don't even get me started on that horrible, no good, very bad combination of boys and bathrooms. Ick. Gross. And yes, my kids have done the toilet paper in the trash thing . . . they blow their nose on a tissue that they throw away in the toilet, and wipe with toilet paper that they throw in the trash. Needless to say, that is one habit we broke . . . and fast.

Colleen said...

I'm still laughing from when you brought this up the other day. I shouldn't, since I know my days are numbered until the High Pee comes calling to my bathrooms.
I do have one thing going for me: once Gavin was tall enough to *ahem* clear the toilet rim with his boy bits, I taught him to aim at the hole in the bottom of the toilet. So minimal spray on, around and behind the toilet. For now...

caramama said...

Darn it! I didn't realize that toilet troubles continued after potty training! Thank you for the warning, Karen!

Debbie Yost said...

May I just reiterate yet again, I am soooo glad I have girls! However, I have the flushing problem and what comes out of one little bitty body can be absolutly amazing. Letting it sit for a while and having to walk in and see it is not a pleasant occurrence.

Cookie said...

OMG! Just because of that, I'm never letting my kids play with yours. I can hardly keep up with cleaning the toilet, the rug, the floor, the wall, the sink, the towels, the trash can. I'm just too short to have to start cleaning ceilings!