Academically Speaking

It is so hard to describe the wonder that is my boy, Micah. It's difficult to make someone understand that while I'm convinced he's brilliant, at the age of 5 he can't recognize his name in print. I don't think this is just me being his mom with a biased opinion. And while brilliant may be a slight exaggeration, smart is not so much. How else does one account for the fact that he can work anything electronic? And that he knows exactly how to manipulate mom and dad to get his own way? The boy has some mad thinking skillz going on inside that little toddler brain of his; of this there is no denying. Anyone that has ever met him concurs.

And yet the boy will not prove to the world that he can understand or do much of anything, academically. He will not point to pictures in a book when asked. He will not show me which is Becky on the family picture. He will not choose the correct color crayon when given a choice of only two. He does not understand what it means to draw a line from the tractor to the barn. And his interest in sitting down to attend to these tasks is equal to that of a kindergartener sitting in an advanced physics class. It just isn't on his priority list, it seems to be above his level of understanding, and he has no desire to even try to understand.

As his mother, this is difficult for me. I know he's smart. It does not matter to me if others believe that or not. Really. But every mother wants the best for her hcildren. I've had to readjust my idea of best when Micah was born. Harvard and rocket science are a bit of a stretch, but nothing is impossible. (Shoot, Harvard and rocket science are probably a stretch for all of my children. And half of yours, if you're being honest.) And while I don't want to cut him short, I need to be realistic, too. I know that Micah will get through school. I know that someday he'll take an interest in academics and learn to read and write and decipher arithmetic. I don't know to what extent he'll take these skills, but I know my boy - and if he takes an interest in something he will excel. It's that simple. But will he take an interest, or be forced to go through the motions for years to come?

Today he became interested, and made me cry tears of pride. Today at speech therapy he matched cards. To you this may not be such a big deal, but to me the angels broke out in the Hallelujah chorus. The therapist laid six cards with pictures on the table in front of him. She then held up a card with a matching picture, one at a time, and he chose the right card to match hers. He did it quickly, excitedly, and with 100% accuracy. Every time. SIX CARDS. If you could have seen it you would have cried too.

How can I tell you what 5 years of wondering about his mental capacity is like? How can I explain the fears that he may never take an interest in academics? What would his world be like if he had all sorts of common sense and refused to learn to even write his name? I cannot convey the degree of stubbornness that is my child. The boy who would rather sit in a chair for an hour than pick up a crayon. The boy who cries like you're breaking his hand when you force him to pick up a pencil. The boy who wants nothing to do with papers and writing utensils. The boy who thinks cards with numbers, letter, shapes, colors, and pictures are fun to throw up in the air and watch twirl to the ground.

Today Micah proved to me that he can understand simple directions. Today he gave me hope that academics are not just in the one-day future. Today he matched pictures.

And today I realized that there are no words to tell you what this means to me.