When It Hits The Fan

When Sam and I got married I was adamant that my horse was moving with us. Sam was not so much into horses and couldn't see the necessity of paying someone to haul an animal that he'd then have to pay to feed and board. I said that if the Air Force stationed us within a 3 hour drive of home the horse was going with. And that was final.

We got Alaska. He says he didn't request it, but one has to wonder otherwise. I was not going to sell my horse, so God took my side and provided a home for her. We made arrangements for someone to board her for free for the next 3 years and for his compensation he would raise foals out of her. We both thought it was a win-win.

On our annual pilgrimage home, I always went to visit my mare. One year Mrs. Caretaker told us about the day she and her husband were moving llamas. The story went on about how she wanted the llamas here, and he wanted them there, and the llamas wanted to be elsewhere. And she was getting mad and he was already mad and the llamas were beginning to spit (they do that when they're mad) and then the sh*t hit the fan.

My mom was with me on that particular visit. How do I explain to you that my parents are so incredibly naive that things like this are foreign to them? They don't swear, they don't use slang, they don't even use expressions of exaggeration. No Holy Cows, no Good Griefs, nothing. Seriously. So I cringed almost visibly inside upon hearing this expression, complete with cuss word. What would Mom think of such language?

I'll tell you what she thought. When we got to the car and were safely on the road she said, "why would someone throw poop at a fan?"

It was nothing short of a herculean effort on my part to not laugh in my mother's face right then and there.

24 comments:

Pam said...

hee hee hee! There is something to be said about being the innocent- I wish that for my children acually. I don't want them to be taken advantage of or anything like that- but to just not have the burden that comes with too much knowledge. I have no idea if I am making sense- the lack of sleep in this house is not fun right now. Anyway- thanks for the giggle and smile!

Andrea said...

Whauahahaha!! Your mom is too sweet!! I love the innocense.

And I do not know why someone would want to throw poop at a fan? That would be a terrible mess!! LOL

Jenn said...

Hahahaha!

Allison Says said...

Hahaha! That is *amazing.*

I'm a highly literal person so I've been known to say things along those lines, but that? Is just adorable.

Mommy to those Special Ks said...

OMG SOOOOO funny!

(Keri) Auburn Gal Always said...

Been there. Done that. Laughed anyway.

My dad (Baptist preacher - which probably explains much of my blog, right?) didn't know what S.O.L. meant until 2 years ago. When I told him between the non-stop giggling I couldn't control. He was a good sport.

Michelle said...

OH what a sweetheart! I love that naivete. I only wish I had it. And that the wee ones hold onto it for just a bit longer (although my parents and husband have already taught them a few of the "oh my GOSH" kind of variety that I don't particularly like coming from the mouth of 3 and 5 year olds). Your mom is such a sweetie.

Karen said...

Oh that is funny! Better that your sweet mom is like that, than like my mom. She would use phrases and not understand them. Yeah.....and she teaches 4th grade. She used one phrase so often, we had to tell her it sounded like she was referring to oral sex. That was not overly comfortable to explain.

Karen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
CC said...

I'm trying to contain the belly snort that wants to come out.

Well, at least you don't have to explain why poop would cause a power outage. Yes, go read that link ASAP

The Sports Mama said...

Oh that is too funny!

Reminds me of my utter and complete shock the first (and to this day, I believe ONLY) time I heard my mother inadvertantly drop an F-bomb.

I thought the world was ending. No lie.

JennyH said...

How funny!! My mom is pretty naive as well but I think she would get that one.

Alaska- huh?! How was that?

Burgh Baby said...

I had a comment, but then I got all distracted by the new header. LOVE IT! Long live Picnik!

Flea said...

Oh that is too funny!

utmomof5 said...

Too funny!! My mom taught me one of my favortie words of exaggeration! I wont repeat it here :) Lets just say I came out when she dropped the Thanksgiving turkey on the way to the table :)

the planet of janet said...

gotta love the naivete of adults sometimes...

Trying to Stay Calm! said...

I am new here! What a great blog :)

Jennifer said...

lol that's actually quite adorable :)

Debbie in CA : ) said...

I'm with your mom . . . why would someone do such a thing? ; )

Melissa said...

I can only imagine how long your mom would have tried to figure that out if she hadn't asked you...;)

mommaof4wife2r said...

that makes me happy...i love that she totally took it seriously. krystal is like that all the time and i just have to laugh!

btw, like the new color...and the new pics in the header! super fun!

Debbie Yost said...

When my mom and dad were dating they were out one night. Several people were honking their car horns and my mom said to my dad, people sure are horney tonight. Dad told her she probably shouldn't go around saying that. :)

Shellie said...

That is sooo funny!

Colleen said...

holy crap is that funny! I can totally see your mom saying that, too.

yeah...still laughing.