And A Partridge In A Pear Tree

All the chaos of the holiday season seems to have come to a head today. I'm recapping here to try to find the humor in it all.

*Prentke-Romich is processing the paperwork for Micah's very own Voice. I was told a month ago that the pediatrician and therapist each needed to sign a form that they were sending me, and I took it to each office in turn. Each office, in turn, said they'd already filled it out. PRC is telling me differently. I'll have to go onto Round Two of the Sign My Papers, Please, Darn It! game. Maybe I'll take donuts along. Sometimes that helps.

*In the midst of this paperwork nightmare I found out that my pediatrician left. I am at that particular office because of that pediatrician. I am there in spite of the other pediatrician. The one that's still there. There is a nurse practitioner there that I like, but now my chances are 50/50 of getting the doctor that I don't want. Donuts aren't going to help that situation.

*Becky wanted a digital camera so I found one on Craigslist. I PayPal'd over the cash and she waited two days before saying that she wanted more than I'd sent. I told her that I sent what the ad requested. Apparently she decided to change her mind. Um, you can't do that? Hag. Thankfully she gave the money back.

*We found an air hockey table that was practically brand new, with a black light to play in the dark, and electronic scoring, for a steal of a deal. On Craigslist. I told the guy we wanted it - could I send a check? No, no, he'd hold it for us until we could pick it up. Really. I called a few days later to make arrangements to pick it up. Could I send a check in the meantime to pay for it? I really want it. He assured me that he was holding it - no need to send the money. Today I called for directions so that we could get it tomorrow. He sold it. He held it as long as he could (he said), but someone else wanted it. Buttwad.

*Tonight was the 1st-3rd grade Christmas concert. I know now why we have a teenager and a toddler at the same time. So that she can babysit for us. Bwahahaha! We sat in the peanut gallery, where every family had their own toddler firmly ensconced on their laps. I heard half of one song before the non-stop screaming, crying, loud talking, yelling and incessant babbling of the toddlers began.

Despite the fact that the principal said not to use flash photography because it confuses the children (???) apparently all the parents thought he was talking to the next person because the blinding light of a hundred flashes is still seared into my retinas.

Also? There's a lot of scary going on at that school. Hello, Mr. Mullet? 1989 is on hold for you. Oh, and Ms. Fake-N-Bake? If you're going for the African American look to simulate the new president-elect, you've failed. It's looking more like Decomposed Egyptian Mummy. Not attractive. Especially coupled with the bleached blonde 'do with an inch of dark brown roots at the crown. And don't think that I'm only good for bashing the next person. I was the mom who wore the same exact jeans and shirt that I wore to the vet this morning. But don't worry, I de-haired before I left.

*When I tell you that I'm sacrificing my dog so that you can have a pet, I mean it. Sure, she's retired from our kennel and needs placed into a good home. But don't you think we got a wee bit attached to her in the 5 years she lived here? When I email to ask how she's doing, lie to me. Don't say she seems sad. How about you just rip my heart out next time and fry it for supper, mmmkay?

*I have a sleigh full of gifts to sew for my children for Christmas, orders to fill from the store, birthday outfits to create for two parties this weekend, and gifts to make for Micah's classmates for his party tomorrow, and all 3 of my sewing machines have decided to take an early vacation for the holidays. Thankfully one of them decided to read the memo that said you can't take leave of absence without consulting with the boss first, but her work is now inferior due to her bad temper. She'll be lucky to get a bottle of oil in her stocking this year, let me tell you. The others? May be parted out for all I care at this point.

Can someone stop with the flash photography? I'm so confused.

15 comments: said...

Poor you, doll. Not the time of year to screw with mama bear. WORK you stupid sewing machines. LIE about doggies, numbnuts. STOP FLASHING cameras.

Melissa said...

Oh, I'm so blaming my confusion on flash photography from now on.

I hope tomorrow is a better day!

I am a Tornado ~ proven fact! said...

this is the part of the christmas season i hate the most .. THE BUSY!

I hate busy.

I hate the busy that blurs everything else in life.

SLOW IT DOWN and relax. impossible i know ...

Sunday is going to be a day from Hell for me...UGH.

Karen said...

I think it may be time to grab a box of chocolates or a plate of cookies and walk into the nearest closet and shut the door. Sit on the floor and medicate with sugar till you feel better.

I hope your day is better tomorrow.

mommaof4wife2r said...

Buttwad...that made me smile! i'm sorry that craig's list has sucked recently....boooo! if i were close, i would def come and have an all nighter sewing party! woot woot!

Burgh Baby said...

Wait. Mullets are out? Really? You could have fooled me 'cuz I still see them everywhere.

Flea said...

I'm with Melissa - you've started something with the flash photography and the confusion. Yay! Something ELSE to blame my senility on!

Just kick your machines a couple of times. Works for washing and soda machines, right? I feel a tiny bit of your pain. I have a pretty smocked bishop to assemble and what am I doing? Reading blogs. We leave on Monday. Is the laundry done? Are we packed? Is the house cleaned? Have I arranged schedules with the people taking care of my critters? Is everything wrapped? Has the oil been changed in my van? Do I WORK this weekend? AAAGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Trisha said...

Okay - laughing so hard I scared my kitten!

Those craigs list people sound like big dorkbutts to me!

JennyH said...

Sounds like a fun few days, or I guess DAY! Hopefully everything will work out and you can get on with your happy life!

I have never bought anything off Craigslist but have sold a few things. As a seller you get so many people "interested" but then you never hear from them again. That is also irritating.

I hope the dog seems better soon. That would just kill me as well.

Kidzmama said...

So what day are you going to stop and sip (not gulp!) a hot cup of coffee, enjoy a sugar cookie, and put your feet up? Oh, Christmas day? Really?

the planet of janet said...

flash photography MUST be the reason we have had NOTHING but bad luck with craigslist.


sounds like you need a stiff drink!

Michelle said...

You my dear lady are BUSY! And I know I asked you about the pediatrician before, so I know options aren't great now that this ped left. Can you find out where he went? I wish they would sign it even if they "already" signed it!

Only a few days before Christmas. Whee!!

Shellie said...

I sense a bit of stress here :) Or am I just confused?

Damama T said...

Ms. Fake-N-Bake!! HA! I think I lived next door to that lady once!

You are too funny.

CC said...

I wrote up the paperwork for one young lady to get a new Dynavox. What a pain in the rear. Hate that paperwork.

Your pediatrician left?? What the??????? I'd be ticked. Ticked, ticked, ticked.