Did You Wash?

We were in the van on the way home from a long trip when the collective family said they had to go potty. Each was calling this bathroom or that and it didn't take a genius to foresee a fight coming on, so I made a suggestion.

Boys, you can pee outside. (Yes, I went there. And then to further encourage family togetherness and nip fighting in the bud, I went even further.) You can stand side by side and see who can pee the furthest.

Josh said, "Luke does. He holds his straight up so that he can pee further and I'm not going to do that."

Blink. Blink. Brain processing how on earth he manages to not pee all over himself while doing this. Not really succeeding.

It was as if Luke was reading my mind. "I peed on myself once doing that. I hit an inch of my chin."

Well, that answers that. I will now require full showers after the boys pee instead of just hand washing.

24 comments:

(Keri) Auburn Gal Always said...

Me first!!!

When I was in 4 y-o kindergarten, I wanted to be a boy. I would not wear jeans if they were not from the boy rack. I attended a private kindergarten run from a friend of the family's home. One day during play time, I decided that I should pee like the boys.

I learned a very important lesson that day.

Girls CAN pee standing up, but we'll get our socks wet.

This story may or may not be true. If anyone IRL asks me about it, I will claim it's fiction.

My name is Sarah said...

LOL. I have brothers.

Designher Momma said...

oh man that is both gross and most entertaining at the same time. love it and am glad that it's you and not me...

utmomof 5 said...

Boys are gross :)

Bluepaintred said...

This is exactly the reason why my boys (9,6,&4) are not allowed on teh internet. What on earth would happen if they stumbled across a blog post like this and tried to re-enact it?

At the very least, you should have a "do not try this at home or your mother will kill you" warning on this blog post!

Sheesh!

Pee ess: LMAO

Allison Says said...

haha! Man, boys are gross. I have so much to look forward to, don't I?

Karen Deborah said...

um Blue you must not have much experience with boys they do not come with manuals and they all figure this out.
My brothers had a pee contest once in the woods and didn't know they were in poison oak. Really, that time I felt sorry for them crying with their red swollen itchy oozing peckers. Pitiful. Having had to clean our bathroom at home I am sure that they have hit far worse then their chins.

mommaof4wife2r said...

you know, we all have special skills...his id def peeing on his face. that's some good stuff.

Lovin Mama said...

I know I can always come here for a good laugh ;)

Karen said...

Good idea! Oh to have the kind of plubing to figure such things out.

CC said...

Bwhahaha! You've both grossed me out and made me snort. Good job!

Krista said...

I remember a conversation a few years ago with fully grown men talking about how they can write with their urine in the snow. Do boys ever grow up?

Debbie Yost said...

And he still does it? I think peeing on my face once would be enough to teach me to aim away from me!

Oh, and Keri, if you straddle the toilet you don't get your socks wet. Don't ask me how I know that, though.

Becoming Mommy said...

Each time I read about your boys and their "high pees" I become less and less enthused about the prospect of having a potty trained son.

At least with diapers, my ceiling remains white.

Becoming Mommy said...

Each time I read about your boys and their "high pees" I become less and less enthused about the prospect of having a potty trained son.

At least with diapers, my ceiling remains white.

Burgh Baby said...

Keri wins.

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

Its stories like that that make me want to give my two boys up for adoption!

HalfAsstic.com said...

Ah yes. Little boys and peeing. While this is something I managed to completely avoid, I remember when my little brother was a young tyke. There was this horrible foul smell in the bathroom we shared that no one could put a finger on until my mom walked in and caught my brother trying to extinguish the flames in the gas wall heater that was right by the commode. Burning urine is something else.

(Keri) Auburn Gal Always said...

I WON! I WON! I WON!!!!!

YAY ME!!! I WON!!!

oh crap. I won. What the crap?

Michelle said...

O. M. G. I can't stop laughing. The image. And the complete seriousness with which I imagine he said that. Dying over here. DYING.

the planet of janet said...

high-freakin'-larious!

imbeingheldhostage said...

well, that answers why you've had to change out the bathroom carpets so many times, right? And you thought their aim was just bad.
I love Luke.

Flea said...

I think you need a hose in your bathroom and a giant scrub brush. Good night Irene.

JennyH said...

That is a good one! Isn't Luke the one that does the "high Pees?" Peeing on his face- that is good!