Drink Up!

Becky is a germaphobe. A hard core one. I have no idea where she got this from. (It certainly wasn't from me. I used to ski in the cow manure when I was her age. No, I'm not kidding.) The fact that Becky asked for GermX in her Christmas stocking proves that she's not really my child. And that's the tip of the iceberg. It started with the typical things like not eating after someone else, then moved on to not drinking out of the same straw. (We had her convinced at one point that if she took it out and turned it end for end before reinserting it was all good. She has since figured that out.) Now she wont' even eat anything that someone else touched. Like bread. If her brother hands her a piece of bread she'll get another slice. It's extreme, people. She is Queen of the Teenage Germaphobe Society.

So we were at Starbucks (I need sustenance, okay?) and I bought Becky a double chocolate chip frappuccino. She declared it was the best thing since sugar was discovered so I asked for a sip. She's right, it is good.

But now she had a problem. There were gross mom-germs on the straw. She could not drink off it without fear of getting old and ugly before her time. I told her to take the straw out, turn it end for end, and put it back in. That's how I learned that she's onto me - she declared that it spread even more germs, even more quickly, because the whole drink was contaminated. She's right, you know.

She finally got desperate and got a napkin out of the glove box to wipe the straw with. I found this in and of itself rather fascinating, but knew better than to say anything. Josh didn't. Or couldn't help himself.

"You wiped it with a rat pee napkin?"

The look on her face was absolutely priceless. She took the straw out, and held her drink until we got home. Obviously, she'd forgotten about the mice who made nests out of the napkins in the glove box.

Kids are so fun to mess with. And don't worry. I already know that Mom of the Year will never be mine.

17 comments:

the planet of janet said...

bwahahaahahahahahahahahaahahha

*gasp wheeze pant gasp*

bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Nap Warden said...

Wicked indeed;P

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Anna, when required to fill a sibling's water glass and return it to a table, would hold it between the outside knuckles of both hands. It was that gross for her to even touch their cups.

(Keri) Auburn Gal Always said...

Don't tell her about "backwash". She'll never allow anyone a sip of anything - new straw or anything!

Heck, she may give up drinking after herself when she learns about backwash!

Michelle said...

Man, you're giving me some real stiff competition for mom of the year here. But I think I'm still winning ;)

I'm so curious about the cow manure skiing, but I'm also petrified to ask.

Momisodes said...

ROFL! That is awesome.

However, I'm suddenly reminded of my older brother :)

Frenchgirlrn said...

That reminds me of....me. The Gremaphobe part...my kids BOTH got GermX for Xmas and not because they asked for it...

Karen said...

Keri - she knows all about backwash. That's the reason she started with the whole "won't drink after anyone."

SunflowerMom said...

"bwahahaahahahahahahahahaahahha

*gasp wheeze pant gasp*

bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha"

ditto!!!

Karen said...

Poor Becky....it's hard being a germaphobe. I use to be one before I had kids. They pretty much cured me. I had a good chuckle at both Beckys and my expense. OK, still chuckling.

mommaof4wife2r said...

good thing to know, if i'm ever with becky, i will touch the straw and then have 2 drinks! yes!

utmomof 5 said...

You and me both, not in the running for mom of the year award.

If only to see her face after Josh said that!! Priceless!

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

I may have wet my pants a little with that one! But I love that a Starbucks frapp is too good to pass up... just hold it until another straw can be found!!! Too good!

CC said...

Obviously she got it from me. I gave it to my husband as well.

But where did I get it from????

HalfAsstic.com said...

That is TOO funny. I will definitely recommend you for Mom of the Year!
She reminds me a lot of my younger one.

Viv said...

My son is much like that, except, he is only afraid of other people's germs. Perfectly content to live in his own filth, but would rather die than drink after me.

The Sports Mama said...

She is soooo going to fit in here! I can't drink or eat after anyone, either. I have to wipe off the edge of the glass or the straw if someone decides they're brave enough to risk my wrath by drinking my drink.

Jock's used to wiping things off for me. :) So he'll absolutely know what to do.