Helicopter Mom Comes In For A Landing

Micah's school sends home the standard folder each day with finished seat work, art projects, and such like in it. They also have a How Did I Do page where they let me know (shockingly enough) how he did that day. If they need to communicate with me there is a note section on the back, and I'm encouraged to ask questions there as well.

The other day there was a note on the back of the page. This note said, "Do you have cats?"

I scratched my head over this. Why would they need to know that? I decided that it must be one of two things.

1. They had something cat-related that they wanted to donate our way.
2. The sheer amounts of dog hair that Micah must be taking to school wasn't being panned off as Show-N-Tell.

So I wrote an answer that said, "No, we just have dogs. Why? Is Micah bringing too much hair to school? Sorry."

As I was tucking it all back into his bookbag, I commented to my husband how weird that was. Not bad weird, not good weird, just that's kinda weird weird.

The next day I took a minute to chat with Micah's aide when I was at school. She apologized almost immediately over possibly offending me with the Do You Have Cats question. Since it takes a lot to offend me, I reassured her that all was good. Apparently she felt the need to divulge. Here's the scoop:

There is a mom in the class that has the label of being One of Those Moms. (You know the type.) She says exactly what she thinks, and does not hesitate to tell you when even the tiniest little thing is amiss. Her daughter has special needs (like every kid in the class, hello?) and because of this she's become The Helicopter Mom Extraordinnaire. This does nothing to endear her to the staff, and when there are more staff in the class than students, that's not a wise choice to be making.

Helicopter Mom is also the fun one that will not allow her child out of her sight. Even in school. She chooses to send her daughter only on certain days, and sits in the class with her on those days. Gotta love the IEP that makes schools comply with things like this.

So Helicopter Mom noticed that Micah had a dog hair on his hat. This sent Helicopter Mom into a tizzy of immense proportions because her Little Precious is allergic to cats, and it's no wonder that Little Precious has been rubbing her eyes* lately, and Oh.My.Word. what are you going to do about it?! To which the staff responded by asking each kid in the class if they had cats. Since Micah can't talk, they sent a note home. The teachers felt about a half inch tall over this and I felt bad that they were in that position for them. And as far as I know, that's the end of the story. But that's only as far as I know.

(*Let it be noted that not even one of the dozen staff workers in the class ever noticed Little Precious rubbing her eyes.)

It's not the end of what I think of Helicopter Mom, though. As a mother myself, and a mother of a child with special needs even, I understand completely that you do what you have to when it comes to your child. But I also understand that the rest of the world has rights, too. If Little Precious is allergic to cats to such a degree that it compromises her health, I'd think keeping her home would be the most safe option. And if it's not such a bad allergy that it compromises her health, then you have to know that people in the real world own cats and most likely, at some point, Little Precious will come into contact with them. What does she expect of the class? That all cat owners become suddenly cat-less? Yeh, because that's a reasonable expectation.

I am not a cat person myself, but for a brief moment there I was tempted to go adopt a litter of kittens. I would have Micah take them to school for Show-N-Tell. I wonder what days Helicopter Mom is there with the poor child that she's scarring for life? I'd ask her to hold the basket.

19 comments:

Lovin Mama said...

I'm laughing because our cat loves to sleep on top of Goldie. They both like to nap in the recliner. Lord knows what lives on our cat.

Infrared Goggles said...

Oh, wow, so sorry you have to deal with this. And gosh, poor Little Precious. I'm with you on the basket of kittens...very appropriate! Thanks for the puppy picture, it made my night. :)

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Hmmm...maybe she just needed to know? My son used to be very allergic to cats, and had to use his inhaler prophylactically if he were going to be around someone who had cat dander on his/her clothes. So I looked a little nuts, asking questions. And another friend had a child who was terribly allergic to dogs - a dog ran up to him at the beach and licked him and the poor kid broke out in hives. So she looked a little crazy when she was at a park or whatever and was trying to protect her kid from loose dogs.

Moms of allergic kids have to be crazy - it's our job. Years ago, when these things weren't as common, it was so hard - people all acted as though I were overprotective, when I would have given anything to be able to leave my little kid at a friend's house without interrogating the parents.

the planet of janet said...

perhaps little precious needs to be enclosed in a bubble, or something.

(Keri) Auburn Gal Always said...

"adopt a litter of kittens. I would have Micah take them to school for Show-N-Tell. I wonder what days Helicopter Mom is there with the poor child that she's scarring for life? I'd ask her to hold the basket."

I would totally do that.

I love you!!! You make me feel less guilty for having a similar "mean streak."

Trisha said...

Want to borrow my two fur shedding machines? I am sure they would have fun playing with your dogs for a while!

mommaof4wife2r said...

all i'm saying is that i would be bringing cupcakes to school that are cats, and maybe tossing a pretty kitten in micah's bag. i know...i'm that mom.

HalfAsstic.com said...

Eh, yeah. She is TOTALLY out of line. It's amazing what control freaks will do about and TO their own children. And, I can understand her being a tad over protective of her child due to her special needs, but she is going to emotionally cripple her child.

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

I am now a nervous wreck, so thanks for that. My kids are covered in dog hair from head to toe and now I have to worry about someone thinking its cat and caring and I am already a crap mom and we already established that I don't make the bed and now this is yet another shortcoming on my part. Then again... I sure ain't no helicopter!

Karen said...

Domestic Goddess - no worries. Obviously we accessorize in dog hair as well. It's what all the cool kids are doing, or so I hear.

Pam said...

I'm giggling at you taking cats to school! Sounds like little precious' mom needs a bit of a reality check.

justmylife said...

I have a curtain covered in enough cat hair to keep Precious rubbing her eyes for the rest of her life. Want me to send it your way? heh! We sport cat hair and dog hair here I guess we must be totally cool. heh!

Michelle said...

My entire goal for the wee ones' school career is to NOT be that mom. And since we haven't yet started kindergarten and I called over to the school to ask a question and the principal knew immediately who I was ... I'm getting really leery (but apparently that's because I asked her some questions last spring and she has a really good memory).

In the instance you describe above, as sorry as I feel for the staff, I feel even more sorry for that poor little girl. I just hope at some point that she can find some measure of happiness.

Anonymous said...

Why are you so mean to this mother? You are a mother of a special needs child and yet you act like this. Shame on you!!!!! I am a mom of 2 children with special needs. You really give all moms a bad name. Why do you care so much about this girl and her mom? Don't you have anything better to do? Sounds like your jelous of her. LOL I would rather be a helicopter mom then a mom like you.

Frenchgirlrn said...

WOW Anonymous...if only I could be perfect like you...until then, I will send my children to school covered in hound and cat hair...wow..if you are going to put something on the web, check your spelling...*jelous*...is that a new word? Makes your attempt at an insult laughable.

CC said...

WTH??? Dude. The school actually agreed to write an IEP that allowed H-mom to be there the entire time her daughter is there?????? So much for independence. I would scream, holler, and run the other way from that mom (personally).

Krista said...

I've met a lot of mom's like that. I was in PTA on all levels and if I didn't meet them, I heard about them. Some people's mothers!!! You go out and get a litter of kittens!

Krista said...

P.S. I think Anonymous doesn't really exist. And neither does her world. Don't take offense from someone from another planet.

common mom said...

No matter who your kid is, what his needs are, or what he may be allergic to, you need to help them understand how to deal with the world around them . . . not how to make the world around them conform to THEIR need or issue. Whether it's a special needs kid or not, they all have "issues" and need to learn to deal with the world. Mommy can't (and shouldn't) be there all the time to watch over them. How will they ever learn? My son's friend comes over to play and brings his epi pen. He's allergic to dogs. We have a large shedding dog. He's deathly allergic to peanut butter. We LOVE peanut butter. He's allergic to pollen. We live in a forest of pine trees. Yet he comes . . . and he tells me what to do if he has a reaction . . . and he tells me how to use the epi pen . . . and he tells me politely whether he can eat what I'm serving . . . oh, and he's 4.

So I'm with you on this one . . . totally. Take the kittens to school! :-)