He's My Baby and He Can Grow Up If He Wants To

My Baby Man was born on this day, six years ago.

Six years ago.

Can you even believe that My Baby is 6?

Six.

It took me a while to process this. I have been spazzing inwardly over it for a few months. I think I'm mostly over it now. And contrary to what you would think, it has very little to do with the fact that I don't really have a baby any longer.

It's actually much, much more embarrassing than that. I firmly believe that a parent should allow a child to be exactly who he is. I don't expect my 8 year old to behave like my 13 year old. (Okay, most of the time I don't.) I encourage my kids to find what they like and not push what I like on them. I allow them to explore the world around them in their own way.

We especially do this with Micah. Being the square peg kid in the family, I figure we'll follow his lead. He'll figure out what works best for him and we'll be there to encourage him in accomplishing the task.

For some reason, my mind tricked me into thinking that only worked through the toddler years. And somehow my brain told me that 5 is the end of toddler hood. Once my boy turned 6, my mind said, he needed to act like a 6 year old.

I'm ashamed of myself for buying into this thinking.

First of all, Micah is measured in more than his years. His chronological age actually matters very little in the general scheme of things. It's his mental age that we're most concerned with. And not because we're all about pushing him to higher intelligence, but because we want to know where he is so that we can meet him there and know what to expect of him because of that age.

Micah has grown so much in the last few months. He's getting very tall, and looking very non-toddler-like. This, coupled with the fact that I'll have to say "he's 6," had me freaked out. What would people think when he had meltdown in McDonalds because we got him chicken nuggets instead of a burger? He doesn't feel the need to tell us these things ahead of time, and asking him results in nothingness. Sometimes we make the wrong choice, and he gets frustrated that we can't read his mind.

What will people think when he runs off in Wal-Mart and won't listen when I ask him to stand quietly beside me? Treating him like a 4 year old when he looks like very much like the 6 year old that he is had me worried. What would people think of me as a parent? Would I be judged for not disciplining my child? Would they think that I was one of those parents? Would I be whispered about behind my back as the indulgent type who was doing her child a disservice?

And then finally, after months of the worry, I smacked myself upside the head and said, "Self, what is your problem? Who cares what those people think? If they judge you it's because they're using the Italian standard when clearly you're on the Holland scale. Don't you realize that your son isn't really six years old? Why would you expect him to act like one? And who cares what they think anyway? Isn't Micah your son, and not theirs? Wasn't he given into your care to raise because God chose you to be his mother? Are you saying, then, that God doesn't know what He's doing? That God expects Micah to be normal when He created Micah to be different on purpose? Self, get a grip and embrace your son for who he is."

So I did.

My boy is six years old today. We are so proud of him.