I Talk to the Animals

I talk to the the dogs. I always have. When we were newlyweds, before we even had kids, I talked to the dog. And most people do, of course. But Sam is highly amused that I lecture the dogs. For crying out loud, they know better than to do the things that they're doing and yet they're doing them anyway. What are they thinking?

Sam laughs. As if they can understand, he says. But it makes me feel better, so I've continued on.

The other day, after vacuuming for the bazilliontieth time, I found several clumps of hair on the floor. I pointed to the offending hair, turned around to face down the dogs, and demanded to know who on earth had the nerve to hair up the floor again after I JUST swept?

Sam said, "You know they won't 'fess up. They'll blame it on each other."

He's joined me on the dark side. He knows that they know. And it's only a matter of time before he starts lecturing them as well.