When Life Gives You Lemons

We had a Mother/Daughter get-together at church this evening. These events always prove to be entertaining on some level, but maybe that's because I always find something to laugh at no matter where I go. We've been known to laugh as our son is hauled off into surgery. Never fear, I'm the bad parent that makes you look good.

The games they play at these church events are things that you don't really want to volunteer for. Any idiot knows that. There are a few idiots that didn't know until after the first game tonight though. After 3 unlucky people had to fish olives out of a tub of ice water with their bare feet, they asked for volunteers for the second game. I turned my back on the speaker and pretended to drink from my empty cup, but my obviously none too subtle plot failed because I was drafted. I had the fun game of making lemonade. In my stomach. Eating one ingredient at a time.

The sugar gob I ate was so sweet that I sucked down two lemon wedges before the sour even registered. Sometime during the sucking of the third wedge the nausea hit and I seriously thought I'd hurl into my empty water cup. The good news is that I was able to choke back the nasty and continue on. The bad news is that I lost the game. (Hey, if you're drafted to play the least you can do is give it your best shot.) I did win a door prize and that gift was so much better than the prize for making lemonade in your innards, so I guess it all worked out. I got myself a gorgeous fuchsia hanging basket. I'll suck down a few lemons and eat sugar to save $20. I'm just that kind of cheap.

After the so-fun event I headed to Starbucks to hang with a friend. You know how you find a parking spot just as you're driving by and then realize that you can't really pull into it because you're too far past? That happened. And instead of just putting the car into reverse and pulling in like any normal person would do I had the bright idea to just keep driving, turn around at the end of the parking lot, and then come back and maneuver my way into the space. I probably should have hit reverse and gone the easy route.

As I was creeping through the lot coming up on my still open space, a car backed out into me. Literally. The whole slo-mo speed thing happened and I had time to think "he'll see me and stop, he's not stopping, wow he didn't stop" while simultaneously thinking "if I keep driving he'll hit the gas tank and that might not be so good. If I stop dead he'll hit a door. He's going fast enough to cause damage but not so fast as to injure the girls in the back seat." So I stopped and waited as I watched him slam into us.

It's really amazing how you can be so calm when you did not cause the accident. It helps when nobody is injured. And it's actually funny that it was the car that cost $300. Mind you, if it had been my van I'd have been livid. And a little sick. The poor kid that hit me was all kinds of shook up. I felt bad for him. He apologized profusely while the girls whispered and twittered about how they go to school with him and how it would be awkward to see him in the halls tomorrow.

I've been researching the internet and it's rather difficult to find a replacement door for an 18 year old vehicle. Go figure.

I think I earned my Starbucks tonight.