Shopping 101

Today was one of those days where I wonder what I was thinking. The answer is always obvious: I wasn't.

Micah just loves to help shop. And today he was in rare form. He starts out by helpfully pushing the cart. He pushes it up the wrong aisles, tries running while pushing it so as to evade the momma running like a madwoman after him, and when no other possibilities open up to him he pushes it right into the back of my heels.

And then the actual shopping part starts to happen. Well, lookit! Momma is putting things in the cart. I can do that. And he does. In goes the girls shirt in size 2, in goes the 3' long dow rod, in goes the Dora the Explorer DVD. We do not have a little girl in size 2, do not need a dow rod no matter what length and Micah doesn't even know who Dora is. I'm not about to introduce them. I unload and remind that we don't need these things.

Undaunted, he loads us up on groceries. We have developed an intense need for Capri Sun that I wasn't aware of. He managed to get 3 cases into the cart while I was looking for the cheapest bulk jug of apple juice that I could find. He did manage to score a pack of pepperoni, and was thrilled that I asked him to get another. The boys eats them for breakfast. Plain. Weird, I know.

And he followed me all over the produce department trying to smuggle strawberries into the cart. I gave in on that one because it sure beats him asking for candy, and we're out of strawberries anyway.

At checkout I hate standing in line with Micah. He's just not so much fun to entertain. But I am the most dim-witted, thick-skulled idiot around. I will never learn that self checkout is not for moms of toddlers. He wants to help, remember? And help he does. Let's bag things before they're scanned! Let's lean on the bagging area, throwing off the weight and making the computer shut down while it begs for help from an employee! Let me scan something while you're obviously having a down time waiting for that employee to show up! And then he got all frustrated (almost as frustrated as I was) because I would let him help in no way, shape, or form. And he started poking at the strawberries. I'm pretty sure he'll have to eat them all for supper tonight or they'll be mush by morning.

In the end I strapped him in the seat of the cart and finished checkout myself. Why I don't remember to do this at the get-go is just beyond me. It must be all those brain cells I lost during pregnancy.




And on a completely unrelated random sidenote, I think Raisinets look like chocolate covered bunny poop. And yet they're so good. I also pretend that they're semi-healthy.

8 comments:

Karen said...

I share this dilemma when shopping, though usually it is x2. They have it all worked out. One distracts me by running around acting like a lunatic while the other loads the shopping cart with whatever suits their whim. I have never done the "self check-out" with them in tow. Thanks for the warning. I will be sure to steer clear. AND Thanks for helping me laugh about this. It is never funny when it is happening to me, but reading how you described it....well it is just plain hilarious.

I love chocolate covered bunny poop too.

Karen said...

Karen - I love seeing other kids do this in stores, and I smile knowingly. It's always nice to know that it's not mine that day.

Flea said...

Raisinettes ARE healthy. Don't tell me otherwise. Ever.

Trannyhead said...

I dread the day that I can't haul Sumo into the cart. He already doesn't fit in the baby seat part, and I just sort of cram him in there anyway. My next strategy is to put him in the buggy part. PS - he's waay heavy to haul all the way up high enough to get into the cart. Just thought I'd share.

Viv said...

After H having one blow out diaper and throwing up in both of the stores we HAD to visit today...I think I might want to trade.

MoonNStarMommy said...

ROFLMBO about the bunny poop - I've always thought that (we had bunnies, and I would call their "oppsies" raisinets .. LOLOL) ...

I hear ya on the shopping, Noah has grown out of that, but I still have Nathan and Kaedyn to look forward to BUT I know that Nathan will be SO MUCH FUNNER (funner? is that a word?) ... because he already looks at me with THAT LOOK everytime I tell him no, like he is thinking "really seriously, what are you going to do about it, I know where it is, I'll just come back and do it some more"

SunflowerMom said...

and this is precisely why I richly rewarded Sean with rides on the 50 cent ice cream truck after a successful shopping trip this week. My boy sat in the cart the WHOLE time and didn't scream, cry or get in other means of embarrassing trouble for the first time ever. So when he non-stop signed "car" "car" "car!!!" at the check out, I said "I'll take a dollar's worth of quarters please." Phew!

Michelle said...

Yeah, but think about all the extra exercise you got. And the memories.

And ummm you want the box of Raisinets I got for Mother's Day that I won't eat? :)