Things We Learned Recently

**If a lizard dies, you suddenly become a lizard rescue center. (No, we don't know why he died, and yes, there were many tears.) Weirdly enough (or not so weirdly - I have strong suspicions that Josh has been praying about this) we were offered leopard geckos (Josh's very fave lizard ever) by two different people. This is good, because now Luke is the proud owner of one of them, and this makes him a very happy camper.

** Leopard geckos are NOT bearded dragons. One word: ewwwww.

**Sweater dresses are the most fun fall fashion that I've seen, but they are not created equally. Nor are they for the average mother of four. (Hello, saggy belly and additional padding.) I have found, however, that with perseverance you can find one that not only flatters but also falls into my low-budget criteria. Also, the mirrors in dressing rooms are so much more flattering than my mirrors at home. I think those mirrors are paid on commission.

** Knee socks with skirts are weird animals. While it invokes the whole school girl image (for better and worse), it's also quite fashionable now. And much like the sweater dress, not everyone is cut out to sport the latest fashion. Also, if you leave the house in a skort and flats because you were cleaning like a madwoman and were hot, and the temperature outside is barely sixty degrees, you will be forced to buy kneesocks at Wal-Mart to get through the day without freezing your leghairs off. Your husband will mock you when you stop in for lunch. You will then continue to wear them the rest of the day just to show him who's really who. Your knees will wonder what they ever did to you to be subjected to frigid temps for extended periods of time while unprotected from the elements. You will give your new kneesocks to your daughter at the end of the day.

**Verizon has great coverage in our area and therefore is a keeper as far as the cell phones go, but the business is running a scam to garner your entire paycheck one way AND another. Restocking fees are bogus. Not telling you about them when they tell you that you have 30 days to make returns or exchanges is deceptive. Charging you $35 for an exchange is infuriating. And that's the tip of the ice burg.

**Staff scheduling is not for the faint of heart. Those in charge of such things in the working world have my utmost respect, and pity. Why do people feel the need to tell you as they show up that they will only be able to put in a half shift? Advance notice, anyone? Hello? Thank goodness the corn maze is only for one month. I'd seriously injure someone if I had to deal with this on a permanent basis.

** If your house is fifteen kinds of trashed, people will flock to it and pretend not to be appalled even though you've had zero notice of their arrival.

** Your husband's idea of cleaning up and your idea of cleaning up are not the same. This is just one of the many subtle differences between men and women.

** Having a house full of teens is easy entertaining, but expensive to feed. Yoi.

**After having your house converged upon for too many years and too many reasons, you reach a point where you don't really care if people pretend not to be appalled and are just grateful that nobody died in the wake of the family's natural disaster that obviously blew through. You also hope that you have friends that are willing to look you in the eye the next day after being nearly eaten alive by the disgust that is in the bathroom.

** Sleep is good. Very good.


BeautifulWreck said...

Sleep is good!

Anonymous said...

NO WAY! Do the ponies really sleep like that?!

I love that you are so up on the fall fashions. Around here, high fashion is a shirt without spit-up on it.

And on the difference between men and women when it comes to cleaning? AMEN, sister. AMEN.

Karen said...

After all of that....I would say sleep is fabulous!!

Viv said...

Schedules are simply suggestions in most people's minds. I learned that after many years working. My solution? Hire retired Navy/Army/other branch of service, they will adhere to a schedule like nobody's business.

Teens? Need to order TWO extra pizzas for dinner if ONE of my son's friends sleeps over. Very scary indeed.

Trisha said...

Sleep - it is a wonderful thing! I must say that the mental image of you in knee socks made me grin this morning!

imbeingheldhostage said...

Sleep... I can't find any translation for that word.
WHY oh WHY did you NOT post a picture of you in the knee socks?????

nikki said...

I love knee socks, but they do not come in large enough sizes for my calves. What's up with that manufacturers?!

Roger said...

Sleep is indeed, very good. Now how do I get me some of that?

I love that our house is the place to be, I also love that the children seem to not mind cleaning up before their friends come over.

After they have left? Not a chance!!

SunflowerMom said...

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You made a rainy day turn sunny!

utmomof 5 said...

I have heard that sleep in good...I wouldn't really know, it has been way to long since I have had an uninterrupted night of sleep.

ModernMom said...

Ha ha Except for the Lizard part, I could have written this one! All so true. My fave...My husbands idea of clean is so very different from mine!

caramama said...

I lurve the sweater dresses! However, they and most other dresses are generally not compatible with breastfeeding or pumping. :-( I hope they are still around when I'm done breastfeeding.