And That's Why I Have So Many Dogs

As your angelic newborn discovers a will of his own, you as a parent discover your Super Powers. This takes a while, with much trial and error, to discover exactly what it is you're gifted at, but eventually it'll come to you. Among the super powers of parents are The Look, The Evil Eye (also known as the Stink Eye), and The Glare.

You'll notice all of those involve the eyes. Eyes are powerful weapons in a parent's arsenal. Never underestimate them.

With a single glance, you can tell the children to knock it off. By raising the eyebrows you can convey the message that you meant it. NOW. Raising one eyebrow typically means "dude, you are in grave danger of losing your life in 3, 2, yeh I thought you'd want to stop that."

Life and death lie in the power of the stare. Without ever uttering a word, you can single out which of the children you are speaking to (with nary a word), what it is they are to stop doing, and the time frame in which compliance is expected.

The comic strip super heroes only wish they had powers so great.

The bad thing is that these powers fade. Your glory may last for a few good years before your kids get smart enough to realize that Mom is giving The Look because she really can't lay hands on you in public without fear of CYS rappelling down from the ceiling and slapping her with a law suit.

Once the kids figure this out, a mom's super powers quickly begin to fade. What once struck fear and instant obedience into kids will temporarily make them slightly more compliant. And then, a day will come when they will laugh at your fiercly waggling eyebrows.

That is the day that you will realize the dogs still believe in your super powers. The Look never gets old with a dog. That is why they are man's best friend.

12 comments:

Annette said...

I need to go to Superhero school. My eye powers don't work now that I am mom...but they did when I taught.

JennyH said...

HA-HA!! So true! Too bad the looks didn't work longer on the kids!

imbeingheldhostage said...

Aack, what do you mean? they stop believing? I can still shoot my look five thousand miles, over an ocean and a desert, through a phone line and my child still quakes.
I also have healing powers. THAT is one super power I hope they never catch on to.

And you're absolutely right. I think if more children were like dogs, we all might be willing to have larger litters.

Becoming Mommy said...

So true. Dogs do always listen to The Voice and follow the whim of The Look.
Although, it works to varying degrees. While our kerry blue will follow a rule come hell or highwater once it has been decreed by any human who ever been in charge of her ever (even for 5 minutes); the hound will only follow them while you are in the room with her or she thinks you really mean it and only if *I* am the one who tells her. She's more like a toddler that way...

Viv said...

As my kids would say, "word." My oldest has gotten to the point, that when I attempt a 'look' in public, he tries to mimic it. Very frustrating, especially when he pulls the younger ones in on it. *sigh* Kinda glad to hear it isn't just me losing my touch.

Trisha said...

I don't have kiddos . . . or dogs . . .but when I taught I certainly had superhero looks!

Burgh Baby said...

The Look does not work on Bulldogs. At all. IT SUCKS.

caramama said...

NOOOOOOOO!!!!! Don't you tell me that The Look stops working! I cannot believe that! I refuse to believe it!

As for dogs, my beagle (a hound dog) is like Becoming Mommy's hound when it involves food. The Look works on her with just about everything else, but if it at all involves food (like staying out of the kitchen while we are eating), I'm looking at a brick wall.

HalfAsstic.com said...

You just reminded me again of how much I love our little pooches!
Once again, Karen, soooooo true!

Karen Deborah said...

You are so funny! I used to say to the girls, " don't you mess with me I have eyes in the back of my head too!" One day when I was sitting on the floor I felt these little bitty fingers picking threw my hair. I asked the little fingers what they were doing, and she said,"I'm lookin for those eyes." Yeah I cracked up, might have even peed my pants.

Flea said...

Ain't that the truth. Wait. No. The Look doesn't work with my Aussies. They're clever dogs. I point, though, and it works.

Michelle said...

Hmm, unfortunately, the LOOK is not effective on cats either. I'm really sunk in my household. Yours, on the other hand, takes on a whole new meaning now ;)