Contradictions

On Wednesdays I pick Micah up from school and take him to speech therapy. We have a happy little We-Time lunch from a fast food joint, I wait for him while he's being therapized, and then I drop him off at school again. It's been our mid-week thing for a year and a half now, and it's oh-so-routine.

Back at the school upon the return from therapy today, Mr. Independent took off to the door without me. One step, two steps, I was trying to catch up to him when he turned around and growled at me. I'd tried to get him to take his stamped paper from therapy into school to show his teacher, but he didn't want much to do with that idea. Did he change his mind? He was pointing to the van.

And then it dawned on me. Micah wanted to go into school all by himself because he's too big to need his mama to hold his hand and walk him to class.

Unfortunately, I needed to sign him back in at the office, so allowing him complete freedom to be himself wasn't an option. I followed from a distance, watching him open the heavy doors and slip inside. He rang the bell to be allowed through the second set of doors. He knows to wait for the buzz before opening them, and when he was granted entrance he walked himself right to class where he greeted his teacher and took off his coat.

He never knew that I followed him the whole way to class. He never knew that a tiny piece of my heart sighed as it realized that it was no longer needed.

****************

Tonight as I was tucking Micah into bed, he had a hard time just laying down and getting comfortable. He was repeatedly told to lie down, to stop tapping the bunk above him, to be still. And then it dawned on me. He wanted Luke to sleep beside him instead of above him.

I laid down beside Micah for a moment to explain to him that Josh would be coming to bed in a little while; he wouldn't be sleeping alone. He reached over to touch me, feeling for the bare skin of my hand at the end of my sleeve-clad arm. He needed the reassurance that his mama was right there with him.

A little piece of my heart sighed as it realized that it was still needed after all.

10 comments:

HalfAsstic.com said...

Boy's will always need their mama's no matter how big they get.
What a sweet story! I know how tough it is to watch your kids grow up. ;-)

Joyce said...

Oh how I love those precious moments that melt your heart.

Fishsticks and Fireflies said...

My heart simultanously broke and then melted for you! I dread the day when Cooper figures out that there are things that he doesn't need me for.

(Keri) Auburn Gal Always said...

sigh... :)

Andrea said...

He is getting SO BIG!!! Growing up fast!!! He is such a sweet boy.

caramama said...

Awww and Awww!!! He's such a big boy, and such a sweet boy.

And I'm sure you and your heart will always be needed and wanted by all your kids.

Lisa Page Rosenberg said...

Those taking off the training wheels moments always sneak up on me. I'm hoping for a lifetime full of them.

Your little people have a sweet mama.

Melissa said...

Isn't love grand!! :)

Flea said...

Oh stop making me cry already! :)

Roger said...

You pulled me in with the emotions you felt, so bittersweet, isn't it?

Playing a little catch up here, I can't believe that it has taken me 11 days to get here.

Bad Roger!