Gray is a Big Unknown

I've read about a cure for Down syndrome. This is astounding news. The premise being that kids with Downs are born normal, but neurological memory deficits prevent these kids from collecting learned experiences, resulting in delays.

Science is nothing if not interesting.

Scientists have realized that certain drugs will boost norepinephrine signaling, thereby allowing kids to collect and modulate information. This would mean, of course, that there would be a vast improvement of cognitive functions.

You know that part of Down syndrome includes mental retardation, right? And this is helping to overcome that part of the disability. Awesome doesn't even begin to describe it.

This would most definitely help with things like potty training, and book learning, and grasping intangible concepts. This would be life changing for not only the kids (or adults) with Down syndrome, but for their care takers as well.

But here's where I'll put in a plug for being the worst parent ever.

As far as I can tell, Micah doesn't seem to mind being Micah. He can't talk, so I can't ask him if he feels slighted by fate. But I know from parenting him that he is absolutely 136% sure that he can do everything that his brothers can. And for the most part, he does.

And I know from parenting him that he's a very happy little boy. He doesn't seem to be frustrated by the fact that he has Down syndrome. He's not sitting around depressed and moping. He's not ashamed of who he is and refusing to go out into the public eye. In fact, much the opposite is true. Micah loves being Micah. He makes friends everywhere he goes, he's happy in almost every situation, and he lives life to the fullest.

There are many days that I wish I could be as well adjusted as my handicapped son.

So how much of his persona comes from who he is, and how much comes from his disability? If you've spent any time around people with Downs, you'll know that many of these same wonderful qualities seem to go hand in hand with the syndrome.

So if I were to change the way Micah's brain works so that he could someday live independently, or mainstream in school, or talk - would that change who he is? Would cognitive retention also tell him that not everyone is his friend and he needs to be cautious and mistrusting of people? Would he learn, like everyone else, that life is unfair and he has a right to grumble for getting the short straw?

Would he not really be Micah anymore? Because if that's the case, I wouldn't like that at all.

My son was born with a disability. It's a part of who he is. I can't change it, and he can't change it. We have both accepted it. I applaud science for continually trying to find cures and improve lives, but I know that I would have to think long and hard, and somehow find a way to consult Micah about it, before I'd make a decision in favor of curing his Downs. Even one part of it.

We're all entitled to our own thoughts on this, but in the end the choice is mine to make, and Micah is the guinea pig. That's a game with high stakes, and one that I'm not willing to play without a lot of prayer and heavy consideration.

And yet, science is amazing.