What I Learned In Parenting 401

I've learned a lot about parenting over the years. One of the first things I learned was that all babies are not created equal, and that everyone has a piece or five of advice on how you should raise yours.

I learned a lot with our firstborn, and more still as the family grew, but Micah has taught us so much more than the other kids. He's put things into perspective for us. Where once we would have freaked over things like dress codes and music choices, we've come to realize that kids need to find their own way in the world and if what they're doing isn't illegal or immoral, it's really just a matter of our choice vs. theirs. If there's a philosphy that we can attach to what Micah has taught us, it would be Don't Sweat the Small Stuff.

Just the other day, Becky asked me what I would think if she got her belly button pierced. I didn't answer her, mostly because I was lost deep in the dark rooms of my brain, thinking. My initial thought was, "huh, I had no idea she'd ever want one." And that was closely followed by so many other thoughts that I was sucked into my own world and never did get around to answering her.

I heard thoughts like "Oh my word! She's going That Route with piercings all over her body! What will be next? Tattoos?"

And then I smacked myself and thought rationally, "It's really a harmless place for a piercing. I don't see any reason why she couldn't have one."

I contemplated how far I'd come as a parent. There was a day that I would have freaked over that question. I would have justified why I didn't want a daughter of mine to have multiple piercings, and told her NO in such certain terms that she would have thought long and hard about asking me anything again in the next five years, while hiding the fact that she'd just gone ahead and done it.

Micah has taught us so much. We learned from him that small things aren't a big deal. So kids wear flip flops to church, and I was raised that patent leather is the only acceptable footwear. It's not a biggie. So the kids rooms are trashed. It's their space, and as long as they keep my space fairly clean, it's not hurting me. So our 8th grade daughter was asked to the prom by a senior. He's a good kid, and they're really just friends. So the boys want to take ballet when boys clearly don't do that. Each to his own. (The boys haven't asked to take ballet. Yet. But I'll bet Micah would absolutely love it.)

Of all the things that we've learned from our youngest, there is one thing that stands out head and shoulders above the others. I don't know why it took us so long to learn, being that he's our fourth child, but we know now.

Never teach your potty-training son to give you a high-five for a job well done until after he washes his hands.