It Went Differently In My Head and Other Confessions

So it's been established that I'm stuck here at the house all by myself, rattling around in the quiet. The things I should be getting done are mocking me. I've done laundry once. I've done dishes once. I sweep floor daily, but mostly because they don't really need sweeping. That is the extent of an entire week home, alone.

This thing we call a business, but in reality is me loving dogs a little more than most people do, made us come to a decision earlier this spring. We needed to replace a few of our girls. I spent days online, looking for a puppy that fit my demanding criteria. I came up with nothing. It was then that I remembered that nothing is too small for my God to be involved in, and prayed that either it become evident it's time to close the kennel, or He would send me the dog that's out there for us.

The very next morning I got a phone call from a kennel offering me an adult dog. We talked about mating her with a dog there before shipping, and keeping a few puppies from her litter as the replacements that we needed. It seemed like a definite go to continue the kennel. I spent the summer excitedly planning the future of those unborn puppies.

This week I haven't slept more than two hours at a time, sitting up with dogs in labor, bottle feeding puppies, and watching things happen that I can't take back. I'm emotionally drained, and have no puppies to keep.

So, did I somehow miss a memo that I should have hung up the kennel owner's hat? I thought for sure that God dropped this new dog on us for a reason, and yet things certainly didn't work out the way I saw them in my head. Somewhere in the quiet that I've been confined to, God reminded me that my plans aren't the end all and be all of my life. I know this. I also know that the beach house we rented next week is in God's plan as well. It'll be a welcome respite from the storm of this week. I'm so grateful that He looks out for every tiny detail of my life, right down to the restoration of my emotional sanity.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, says the Lord.  Isaiah 55:8


Trisha said...

God's ways are mysterious to us but they always follow his plan. Keep praying and He will make things clear.

JennyH said...

Sorry about the puppies. A vacation sounds nice though. I hope you have fun and are able to relax.

Becoming Mommy said...

Just because it's hard, doesn't mean it's wrong. Often its the difficult path that's the right one.
And sorry the puppies are making life difficult, but I thought that's why they existed?

The Sports Mama said...

Can you feel the hug all the way from Arizona?

Ya know, one of the benefits to my living in this time zone? If you need to talk at midnight or 2am.... I'm still up. Answering my phone. said...

Oh Lord, please hold Karen and her family in your loving hands. Protect and guide them, showing them the way you have prepared for them. Take the worry from their hearts and fill them with the sure knowledge that you will provide and lead them where they are meant to go.
I pray in Jesus name.

Michelle said...

Oh Karen. I'm so sorry to hear about hte puppies. So so sorry. I know how hard that is for you - or I imagine I do anyway.