It's All So Confusing

I got a note home from school that Micah did not want to go to lunch. If you know anything about Micah, you'll know that this is as out of character as finding a fish in a tree. Instead of walking (or running excitedly) down the hall, he ended up on the floor in a puddle of melting boy. After making a game out of things, he quickly pulled himself together and proceeded to walk to lunch like it was any normal day.

Except it wasn't, because it's out of character for Micah as finding a fish in a tree. And it happened a second time, too. So now there's a pattern, and now I'm wondering. A lot.

Micah ran out of Sunday School this past weekend without giving anyone a heads' up or asking permission. That, too, is out of character for the boy. When accosted in the hallway, he melted into a puddle of boy onto the carpet. His sobs were heart wrenching. Clearly, something major was wrong. But when Daddy went to console him, he just dried up the tears, went to the restroom, came back and hugged his teacher, and sat in class to continue learning. He was asked if he needed to use the restroom, and he simply cried. Yet, that's what he needed to do.

Are these things related? The school and church things? What do they mean? Why is he melting into uncooperation on the floor?

One of the biggest problems we face with Micah is his lack of speech. In cases like this, it's much like trying to solve a crime with few clues, and witnesses trying to hide evidence. It's all speculation and second guessing. And we can never know if we've found the answer or not, because even if we hit the nail square on the head, Micah can't talk to confirm that. As frustrating as it is for us, it's got to be even more so for Micah.

I've been thinking about the lunch walk a lot. Could he simply want to be a packer instead of a buyer? Can I solve this by giving him a sacked lunch? Is he being bullied? Which I cannot imagine happening, because his aide is always by his side, and she'd tolerate that every bit as good as I would. His aide is his mom-at-school, and worth her weight in platinum. She's a keeper, she is. So I'd think that would be a long shot. So now we're back to speculation. Does he hate his assigned seat all of a sudden? (Do they have assigned seats?) Are his legs tired? Did he want to do another math page before heading to the cafeteria? Your guess is as good as mine, and I'm guessing mine isn't very good.


Leanne said...

Hugs. Just hugs.

Burgh Baby said...

Ditto what Leanne said. :-/

Debbie @ Three Weddings said...

Does the aid need to give him a little more space? Maybe he wants a little more independence like his classmates have. What else has changed at school? A new lunchroom aid?

Even though Peanut likes her main para, sometimes I think she just wants some space. Also, a couple weeks ago Peanut had a cold and allowed the nurse and Para to think she was a lot more sick than she was and I had to pick her up because she was "lethargic". I was furious that I had to take off work. I knew they were being played. When I got there she jumped up and RAN out of the school. She didn't stop running all day. Yes she had a cold, but she was not sick. It made me wonder what was going on at school that she, a child who loves school, wanted to go home. And, like you, deciphering that is a maze. Oh how I feel your pain with the lack of speech. If it keeps up I would do a lot more investigating into every tiny change that may have happened around lunch time.

Then again, he might just be being a kid. **sigh**

Cindy said...

Oh boy do I understand. Our problem wasn't that Beth couldn't talk. Our problem was that Beth wouldn't talk.

I remember one day at home, sitting on my knees sobbing, begging Beth to tell me what was wrong. JUST TALK TO ME!!! And I sobbed. She just stared at me.

I wish I had an answer for you. A 'do this and all will be well'. But I don't. Beth just kind of grew out of it. We too, speculated a lot, does she need more space, less space, is she angry, hurt, tired, hungry. It's exhausting.

Maybe try giving him more choices. Like you said, maybe he wants to bring his lunch instead of buy it. I do remember giving Beth choices and it would help for that moment.

I'll be praying for you. And him.

imbeingheldhostage said...

Oh bless. All I can think of is to just keep praying, and to make sure you carve out some quiet time to receive some answers. (((hugs Karen)))

Tara said...

Praying for wisdom and rejoicing that He's promised it to us when we ask. I've only been at this nonverbal thing for a short time, but I've found it to be baffling! Hugs to you and your boy.