It's funny how life just keeps marching on, never stopping to give you time to catch up if you stumble on occasion. I remember hearing my mom say, when I was so very young, that the days get shorter as you get older. That made no sense to me then, but she spoke the truth. When I was a kid, a summer day would stretch out forever, and a week was a month. Summer break was a lifetime. Now I'm afraid to blink for fear one of my kids will be grown and out of the house.
Sometimes, I just want an extra day. Not to get more work done (although that would be helpful, too) but to just sit and enjoy life. I don't want to miss all the things that I fear I'm too busy to notice. I want to see my kids each day, not just know that they're home. I want to watch weather roll in over the hills. I want to enjoy meals together with the family and not have to push back from the table the minute I'm done eating so that I can get more things done.
I had a birthday over the weekend, which I'm sure you know about because all you wonderful people wished me a happy day. It was fabulous, thank you. I spent it with my family and there's no better way to spend a birthday. Somehow, turning 42 made me feel older than any other birthday so far. And not just because I AM older. I'm not sure I can explain the feeling of feeling old. Maybe it's the fact that I'm not 40'ish anymore, but definitely 40-something. But 40 isn't old, so why would that matter?
Introspection is not a good thing, sometimes.
But really, life is good. Without sounding pathetic, I had no ambition for what my future would be. I am a fan of taking one day at a time and seeing how God orders my steps as I walk in a forward direction. At 42, there is so much that I never saw coming. And while the 20 year old me would be shocked into staring slack-jawed at the 42 year old me, the things that are rather shocking are not bad things. They're just not things one can predict. Ironically, these are the things that I find the most satisfaction in.
But really, 42 finds me tired. Why is it that the older you get, the more responsibility you have? Shouldn't the young and energetic have the greater share of work? This is what keeps me mind busy in the 2.3 seconds it takes me to fall asleep at night. If you're younger than 42, take heed and nap while you can. This is the voice of wisdom speaking.