I'm Blaming the Extreme Emotional Exhaustion On Tonight's Post

Our family has seen a few tragedies over the years. If I had to choose how we lived life, I would never have said, "hey, we need a few really big and not so good things tossed our way!" but we are not in control of the bigger picture any more than anyone else is, so we just roll with the punches. I have learned that a sense of humor is your best friend, and supportive family is even better. And despite the fact that we never would have chosen bad things for ourselves (who would, really?), I am well aware that they helped shape us to be who we are today. Character comes from adversity. So do wisdom and maturity, if you allow them to.

And I just want to insert here that the unfun things I'm referring to would be considered huge tragedies to the world (and they are, don't get me wrong) but our family is very well aware that we are far, FAR more blessed with good things than bad things every single day and we have nothing to complain about. I am raising the next generation of optimists, and doing a mighty fine job of it, thankyouverymuch. In fact, someone actually said to my kids once that they've seen some major life-changing tragedies and, bless my dear kids, they had to stop and think what those bad things might have been. We do not allow ourselves to dwell on bad, and always look for good in any situation.

And yet, when we're walking along a shadier part of life's path, there are some things that the world needs to be aware of. After the long and emotionally exhausting week I've had, I've come to the point where I do not care who I offend by saying what needs to be said.


The family has unanimously decided that if you are driving slower than 5 MPH as you pass the farm, you will be charged a $5 fee. It will be $10 if we can actually walk up to your stopped car and ask you for it. I get that one doesn't see barn fires every day (THANK GOODNESS) and I get that the barn has been there all your life (it's over 100 years old, so it's a true statement no matter who you are) and now it's gone. But here's the thing: if you're not stopping to offer condolences, drop off supplies, or help in any way, please have the decency to just keep moving.

Curiosity is a natural thing, but when a tragedy happens, that curiosity needs to be curbed. I'm not even going to add a please to that because its common sense. I'm not saying that you can't look. I'm saying that if we're standing right by the road and you stop kind of beside us to just stare past us and then drive on, have the decency to at least acknowledge our presence and say, "I'm sorry." Is that really too much to ask? 

I didn't think so.

My hero of the week is the neighbor who lived through a barn fire of his own many years ago. He caught gawkers actually videoing our barn as it was burning. (Which, WHAT THE HECK?! We live here and weren't allowed to the site without declaring that it was family and offering our firstborn as down payment in the event that we were lying.) My new hero asked them to put the camera down.

"But this is so cool!" was the unfeeling reply.

"It's not cool. Someone just lost their livelihood. You're going to put that down and get in your car and drive off."

I bow down to you, awesome neighbor. Thank you.


Karen Deborah said...

oh Karen you are on your last nerve and rudeness just doesn't fly does it. I am sorry, very sorry for your families loss and really for your whole communities loss. the good news is you are the salt of the earth and "can do" will come back people.
From out here is there something I can do?

Tara said...

Oh, sweetie. I am so sorry this happened. I think your post was very tame compared to what I would've written! People are just stinkin' rude and self absorbed. :(