Our church is holding revival services. We were there last evening, enjoying the opening song (where half our teen crew play in the band) when things started going horribly wrong. Micah, apparently, wasn't feeling 100% in the tummy region. He must have used the facilities before church started, but realized midway through that first song that he had some lingering aftermath. He has problems wiping. He just does. He relies on me to do that job. Because he lacks words to say that, he generally just comes out of the restroom with his pants around his ankles and points to his bare backside. That's effective communication right there. But we were not at home. While we were in the front pew, Micah pulled his pants down far enough to expose a full moon to everyone behind us. I am fairly certain that I bruised Luke as I elbowed him out of my way to jump across the pew and pull Micah's pants up.
After ushering Micah to the restroom and muttering apologies to those I passed and may have seen things they shouldn't have, we cleaned up and returned to our seat. I scratched an itch on my arm and inadvertently clawed off a scab. Micah pointed out the blood running down my arm because he's freaked out by things like that. And it really was a large blob considering the situation.
The situation: For the only time in my known life, I ran out the door last evening without my purse. I did not have a tissue (or anything) to wipe that blood with.
I grabbed Becky's purse (while she was rocking the bass on stage) and rummaged through to find a tissue. She was fresh out. Nor did she have much else in there. She did, however, have a feminine emergency kit. In a pinch, guys, a pantiliner makes an awesome blood mop, because DUH. And then there was that other dilemma where I didn't want to put a pantiliner with a spot of blood on it back in Becky's purse without having an explanation (how would YOU like to find that in your purse?) nor did I want it just sitting on the pew beside me. That's kind of gross. So I put it in her purse and set the purse beside me so that she'd have to ask for it and I could give her a heads' up.
Josh reached over and snagged the purse for her when she sat down, and it happened so fast that I missed it. We had a text conversation, on silent, during the beginning of the service explaining why there was a used pantiliner in her purse.
Come join us at church this evening. You're bound to have a great time if you sit near us. The preaching is good, too.