Please Don't Call Me Soccer Mom

Soccer sign-ups are next week. Becky has opted out this year and Luke is "not a sports kind of kid." (His words, not mine.) That leaves Josh in AYSO this year. Micah missed the cutoff by a few months, and I really can't wait until he starts. He's very sports oriented and I love that age group.

I can't say that I'm disappointed that we only have one soccer star in the family this year. I am not athletic (boy, is that an understatement!) and most of my kids inherited this curse from me. I also do not get as many kicks as you'd think by driving to the soccer field fifteen seventy nine times a week. They (and by they I mean the soccer powers that be) had promised us our first year that they'd always try to get the kids practices on the same nights to avoid as much unnecessary running as possible. I wholeheartedly believed them. You can only imagine my keen disappointment when I learned that child #1 had practice on Mondays and Thursdays, and child #2 had practice on Tuesdays and Fridays. If this was what they meant by coordinating schedules, I'd hate to see what they mean by carpooling. Of course, nobody lives on our route anyway so I had no choice but to drive the 2 miles to and from the field nearly every night of the week. I'm eternally grateful that the field is close by. (Yes, this is close in our little world. We normally don't have anything within walking distance. And no, we've never made the kids actually walk there. Yet.)

I do enjoy watching a game every now and then. Especially the little kids that have no idea how to play the game. The first year Becky played she was way more concerned with watching the cloud shapes float by than the ball rolling right by her feet. Yep, that's my daughter. But mostly I get lost in a game and bored with following along. I'm the annoying mom talking to other spectators, then asking strangers what the score is because I've no idea what quarter they're in much less if my kid's team is winning or not. (By this time in the year my Best Mom Ever Award has long since been a dream, so I don't even try.)

At sign-up time they always beg, plead and bribe innocent moms and dads to become AYSO volunteers. Without us, the organization would no longer be able to function, blah, blah, blah... I've always managed to get out of this by some miraculous feat. And I've shamelessly used the baby as an excuse. The fact that he'll be 5 this year doesn't matter. All one has to do is look at the holy terror I'm chasing through the never-moving line in the high school cafeteria and they know I speak the truth. But they're so desperate that they don't care.

And soccer pictures are the biggest scam ever. I am too cheap to pay for something that I can do myself. I had the kids at the photo shoot so they could be on the team picture (which everyone gets a free on of) and saw how they were posing the kids. Cool. I can do that. And I did. I like the sunset in the background of mine way better than the sunny sky in the ones the professional did. My daughter did, too. She was quite impressed with them, actually.

My husband liked the volleyball in place of the soccer ball. He thought that was a nice touch. I think this year I may take this photo as proof that they do not want me to be on the coaching team in any way, shape or form.

27 comments:

baby~amore' said...

HI - I see you are a Top momma too and a very creative one -great idea on the soccer photos.
I have clicked you before I think.
thanks for visiting me - this photo is a gorgeous pose of your daughter - she is striking (no pun)
You have a lovely family.
I have a hard time too finding the right bra - LOL on women have been stuffing them for ages.
I love your rocking pony quote too.

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

What I hated the most about soccer (when our oldest 2 did it for a year or so) is how none of the parents were even interested in chatting while the game or practice was going on. They all had to watch every move, as if the World Cup were happening in front of us. I could not understand this behavior in the least - these are 7 or 8 year olds playing soccer and having fun - they don't need spectators!

Madame Queen said...

Well it just goes to show you how much (or little!) I know about sports -- I never would have known that was a volleyball!

Bubba played soccer this year but says he doesn't want to play next year. Frankly, fine by me. Soccer is not my game anyway. Whoever thought it was a good idea to have a bunch of 4 and 5 years run up and down a field for AN HOUR is NUTS!! Baseball! That's *my* game. Oh, and football, too, but Bubba won't be able to play that for a while. If he wants to, that is.

Madame Queen said...

Oh, and that IS an awesome photo. Good job!

Corgimom said...

Thanks for a great idea about taking our own sports pictures! Do please tell me more about your corgis sometime. We want a boy for our boy in a year or so.
Thanks for stopping by and admiring my own sweet pup!

Karen said...

Suburban - If only you attended our games, we could chat forever!

Madame - I didn't know it was a volleyball until DH pointed it out. Soccer isn't my sport either. Nor baseball nor football. I understand volleyball but get bored watching it. Yeh, sports + me = boredom.

Karen said...

Corgimom - I'd chat corgis all day with a willing ear. Love the little shedders dearly. :) And I just read your bio - a children's author! I stand in awe.

As We Sail... said...

Hubby and I are not into sports either, but our nephew looks cute running around there.
Good job on the picture. My husband took our daughters graduation pictures and then 7 years later she took my son's graduation pictures. Saved a ton.

Leanne said...

Nice pic.

I signed my gang up for soccer today too. Then I thought...It's January! Isn't it too early?

I have the opposite problem of you. Both my kids who play have the exact same soccer practice and game times. I have to be in two places at once! And they're at opposite ends of my large little town. No one can walk to the field here either.

If you ever get the ear of the 'soccer people to be' can you send them over my way too, I need a different set-up.

Maria said...

That's a great idea about just taking your own picture. I hate buying them too. My daughter use to play soccer and I loved it. She use to skip down the field. Don't you love it when their shoes fly off when they kick the ball? I'm sure you've seen that one before. Now all I have are two boys in baseball. I love it, but I must admit, the parents at baseball don't talk as much. I like to talk!

The Sports Mama said...

To a football mom, the word "soccer" is synonomous with many four letter words banned from our house! :)

My boys have always done baseball and football. And its baseball season once again here in Arizona. :) We're lucky in that the price of a basic picture package (which is really just the individual photo and the team photo in a nifty little frame) is included with the price of registration.

Flea said...

We did soccer for a year or so and all three kids had practice the same night at the same field. Not at the same time, so I was always there for three hours, swatting mosquitoes in the Florida sunset. And I always brought a book or magazine and avoided the rabid parents.

Johnina said...

I know exactly how you felt whne the kids have practice on seperate days.Last year we did dance, theater & Gymnastics. They had practice everday but Friday. I ran my legs off but they had fun. Last time I ever do that. This year it was one thing same day and time!
LOVE your picture~ I avoid all photographers , thier all money hungry & they never have patients which is crutial for a great picture.

kimmy said...

What a wonderful photo - I agree, the sunset is beautiful!

My son tried soccer when he was younger and did not like it. I have tried to get him interested in it again, but I'm not having any luck. I played soccer when I was younger and loved it. Oh well, to each his own, I guess!

Have a great Friday!

Kimmy

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Soccer was a huge part of my life growing up. I played for almost 15 years and loved it. My kids each played for a few years but eventually gave it up. I was sad but it's their choice.

The practices do get overwhelming with conflicting schedules so don't worry about not LOVING it! You're just a normal, busy mom!

Hallie

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

I'm laughing so hard I think I might cry . . . I was looking at the photo and thinking about how you did a FANTASTIC job (really, it is far better than the ones they sell for a kazillion dollars), but then I was like, "But that's not a soccer ball, is it?" Then I read the paragraph below. You are right--sports are not your thing!

I love playing soccer, but can't stand watching it. So I'll be in the stands chatting like you if/when Alexis ever decides she needs to play.

Andrea said...

Wow only a two mile drive. We have to go 15 miles to the next town over. We live in the middle of no where. I was just like you. I never got out of the house so when I saw the chance for adult conversation, I took it. I never knew the score. I was sure fun.

Your picture is so much better then the ones the Pros take. I was a sucker and paid for the pictures this year. Next year I will do my own. I love the way you had her on the ground. I never noticed it was a volleyball and not a soccor ball!! LOL!!

Melissa said...

We haven't gotten to the soccer point yet. Not looking forward to it. That picture is great!

Cecily R said...

Oh no! Soccer is already here? I love your picture! I come from a soccer family and I didn't even NOTICE the ball until you pointed it out. Me and detail...not so much lately.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

I volunteered to be the team mom for softball one year. That was enough for me. There was one of "those moms" on the team who didn't actually want to BE the team mom...just the backseat driver team mom. And I hated her. I actually dreaded going to my own son's practices and games because I knew she would be there with her list of complaints. And she just had a way of doing it that drove me batty.

So, never again. I've done my duty.

Your pictures are WAY better. Boy-Child#2's "professional" softball pics from last year are so bright and washed out that you can barely see the kids.

Kellan said...

You are so funny - and I loved this post - I could just see you up in the stands talking to everyone and not knowing what was going on with the game. That happens to me sometimes too. Have a good weekend Karen - see you soon. Kellan

Bia said...

Karen, Your photo outshines ANY photo that a professional could have done. Great job.

God bless.

caramama said...

I think you should help out on the team... as the team photographer... for a price. hehe.

Your photo is really great, and your daughter is lovely. :-)

Deb in OPKS said...

We did soccer with our oldest but when it got to the point that talent was needed we stopped. Diva does dance and I've avoided soccer. One sport/activity at a time! Peanut's too young but if I have any say it will be dance. It only has practice once a week and one recital at the end of the year, not all those soccer games on Saturday. My husband is in charge of any sports!

BTW, never would have known it wasn't a soccer ball either.

Shellie said...

Love the picture!!

Colleen said...

really? that's a volleyball? geez, maybe that "C" I got in gym class was valid...

Colleen said...

oh, and awesome pic, by the way!