Whisper A Little Louder, Please

My mom has been going on about this new show called The Baby Whisperer. Apparently the show revolves around potty training toddlers. Only in America. But I shouldn't be surprised. We have shows that do nothing but document births, shows that help you regain control of the children you've let run rampant, and shows that provide pshchological help when all else fails.

Since my mom has cable and I don't, she relishes in telling me all the gory details of everything that I can't watch. On this particular show, the Potty Trainer makes the kids clean up their own messes when they don't get to the potty on time. She claims that kids hate doing this and will very quickly learn to simply flush it away rather than clean up a mess. In the record time of 24 hours. Give or take.

She also has a disclaimer that kids like Micah, with a few handicaps thrown his way, would take up to a few days or maybe even a week.

So in the spirit of giving it a whirl, I did. And the results were exactly as I'd expected. Micah is a neat freak. The kid spills something and instantly runs to get a towel to clean it up. He gets something nasty on his hands and has to wash them right away. (And yet, he constantly walks around with dirty hands.) So last evening he was running around nekkid because he'd been swimming, and whizzed on the floor. I got a towel and asked him to clean it up. He was more than glad to comply.

And then when I turned my back he decided to do the grunt-and-squeeze and made a deposit on the floor as well. (So much for being housebroken.) Sooo, I got a wipie and asked him to pick it up and deposit it in the toilet where it belonged. He happily did that, too. And every time he dropped it on his way to the potty he'd accidentally smear it around a little while trying to get a better grasp on it.

Yet another failed attempt at potty training.

25 comments:

Debbie Yost said...

ROFL!!! The grunt and squeeze. I love it! I did this with Diva when she regressed. The kid could care less if she was wet and having to change her own clothes and put them in the wash was no big deal to her. I'm not above trying it, but I've yet to see it help.

Have you heard of the new reality show where the teenagers have to care for real babies. Are people CRAZY!? There I no way I would let some loser person care for my precious child for a television show. As you say, only in America.

Pam said...

you crack me up! I am impressed you even gave it a try! Of course a kid who likes to clean would do that---did the toilet whisperer mention what to do then? TV is insane these days!

Tranny Head said...

This post was some seriously funny stuff, man. Best post I've read all day. I love the thought of your feces-smeared floor, as well. Hawt!

Also - our package arrived today and we're IN LOVE with our new shirts! Sumo's wearing his alien tomorrow!

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

So are you going to try it for six more days just to see what happens? I would love it if you totally proved the crazy lady wrong! Mind you, I'd love it MORE if she ended up being right and Micah was fully potty-trained this time next week.

Michelle said...

Now there's a tv show I don't think I EVER need to watch. See, not having cable is a good thing!

Someday, Karen, someday. But I know you wish that day were yesterday.

JennyH said...

Yeah, that would not/ does not affect Max. Just something he could play with! I just make him soak up pee, then I re-do it as he sucks at getting it all up. Thankfully those pee spots are getting fewer and fewer for us!

Trisha said...

Isn't it sad what is on TV these days? What is even sadder is that people actually watch these shows!

Sorry to hear the whole potty training thing isn't going well. Keep the faith - he can't possibly make it to his teens without being potty trained - can he?

Poltzie said...

Ok, I love the baby whisperer. Chicken is on her EASY routine and has slept through the night since two months old. THat being said, it's not going to work for every child and I don't like how she says it will!
I worked with Autistic children and I remember those [parents pulling their hair out with frustration when it came to potty training. It was a huge battle but eventually the parents won, and you will to!

LaskiGal said...

More, more, more potty/poopy stories please. I need the laugh. 'cause Lordy knows that'll be me in no time.

Right now, J is BFF with his little winkie. The second the diaper comes off, WOOSH . . . the hand swings down. I keep wondering if it is his lovey/woobie/precious.

Will his help/hurt potty training when the time comes . . . at least he can "hold it."

Andrea said...

ROTFL!!! I am soooo sorry! I was there about two weeks ago!! I just let my three year old run around naked. I didn't push the issue. I just let him do. He finally just got the hang of it. We have been accident free for about on week now. But it did take about three months to potty train that little boy. I am just too laid back to make a big deal out of something that they will eventually get the hang of. My kids would have love love loved to have cleaned up the poop. LOL!!
Good luck!! Keep on trying! Maybe you could ask to be on the potty training show!!

Cecily R said...

There is NO magic remedy. Potty training just rots, no doubt about it.

That said, I'm with Burgh. Funny if you proved wackadoo lady wrong, better if she's right.

Queen Mommy said...

I let my babysitter do all the training. I realized that this time next summer we will be done with diapers. It will have been 6+ years that we have used diapers on three kids! WHAT will I do with all that cash? HA!

Madame Queen said...

LOL! Maybe you should send him to your mom's house and let HER potty train him!

Spammon said...

Well at least he is having fun in the process. Hopefully this fun doesn't spread to other rooms in the house when you aren't around. :)

imbeingheldhostage said...

You consider that a fail? It's not on the walls. It's not cleaned up with Mommy's favorite sofa cushion. It wasn't eaten-- by anybody. I think that's a success!
I came by way of Top Momma. You're STILL on the front page?!

Linds said...

kid's cleaning up their own messes? My toddler would have mess all over his hands, face, and clothes if I let him do that. No thanks!

Karen said...

My son is developmentaly delayed. So, I completely get this post. He is six and just got the concept 7 weeks ago. Oh happy day! So now when we see someone he hasn't seen in a while, he drops his drawers to show off his underwear and accomplishment. Which is great when we are not in public.

jessica said...

is it just me and my browser? your header pic covers the first part of your posts now... :( "deposit on the floor" cracked me up! oh, lordy!

Caution said...

He sounds like the sweetest boy on Earth! I'm toasting you with disinfectant right now!

Allison Says said...

Haha! The way you phrased all of that was hilarious.

You're right, too. Only in America. Why do we HAVE these shows? How absurd. Either way, I do hope it works for you. But I wouldn't be unhappy if it didn't and you could prove this show wrong...

Flea said...

Can you see my face? Can you see the way my mouth is all screwed up and eyes are squinty, pretending they didn't read that about Micah smearing it? Ew! Ew! Ew! Put his little potty outside, buy cans and cans of Pringles and Coke and train that boy. Salt and caffeine will make him go repeatedly. Of course, it's also Micah. I say get your mom over there to train him.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

I'm a firm believer in that they'll do it when they're good and ready. At least that's the way it worked with all 3 of mine. I'm sorry about the skid marks on your floors.

Sniz said...

I LOVE it when other people tell you what WILL happen with your kids. Other people are SOOO smart and knowledgeable, aren't they?

Have a great day! Sniz

caramama said...

Oh, I'm with Madame Queen--have your mom potty train him!!!

Colleen said...

I'd be calling your mom to deploy the Potty Whisperer method...