The Hard Things

As a parent, you know that there are some things that you'll have to deal with that will be less than ideal. It starts when your child is but a newborn, with poopy diapers that leak from every opening, and it progresses on from there.

The toddler years, the school years, the growing up years.

And then the teen years.

Every parent lives in dread of them. Of what their child could do to themselves that might have lasting effects. Of mentally damaging peer pressure, or physically damaging stunts of teen boys. And then there are the trending fads that we all cringe to think about. The things that we think surely happen elsewhere but in reality are happening in our own homes.

The cutting.

The burning.

The smoking.

The drugs.

The drinking.

And we pray that it won't have lasting effects. That it truly is just a fad. And in reality we know that it's the outward sign of a deeper problem. A problem that isn't likely to go away any time soon.

We cry, because the kids are hurting and there's so little that we can do about it.

And we thank God that our daughter comes to us with these problems that she sees in her friends and is just as concerned as we are over them. We thank God that she's so horrified over what they're doing that she's in tears. And we pray for our daughter as she goes through her day, knowing that her friends are hurting so badly.

We beg for God to keep her free from the influences around her. To let her be the one friend that everyone can confide in because she doesn't have hurts of her own. And to keep our family strong and happy so that our kids can feel safe at home, even if the world around them is falling apart.


Danyele Easterhaus said...

amen, sister. amen!

Viv said...

Very well said.

Molly said...

This reminds me SO much of 7th grade. I had friends who were cutting, suicidal, etc. I spent HOURS in the guidance counselors office with them. I remember being so confused, so sad for them. Sometimes being the one without issues becomes stressful because you want to solve everyone elses.

Ugh. Hug her for me, tell her it'll be OK.

The Sports Mama said...

I read this thinking, "I know", because we got through the same thing with Jock. We've been fortunate in having a couple of his friends actually open up to us, as well.

My heart hurts for Becky right now. God knew what He was doing when He gave her the parents He did, though.

caramama said...


I hope that Becky is able to be there for her friends without it taking a toll on her.

Michelle said...

I so missed out on all of this growing up -- I missed out on so much, completely sheltered or lucky or whatever. I hear now about things that friends did and saw growing up, and I am so scared that the wee ones will see that or worse. Congrats on raising Becky to be the girl who is staying away from this and is pained by her friends making painful choices. Good luck.

Anonymous said...

I am so very impressed and proud of your Becky for coming to you and Sam with these things - it speaks volume about her character and about the amazing job you two are doing as her parents. I can only imagine what it is like to be a teenager these days! said...

Bless Becky's heart. You know, she has hurts too, (I mean of course you do), but the ability to deal with things in a way that don't drag you down further and make things worse for you is a thing that comes with maturity. You can pat yourself on the back for doing such an outstanding job of raising her.

Karen Deborah said...

And our president wants moms to go back to school. Our homes need moms, these kids need moms. These kids need love. It is horrible.
Kayla's friends from California are all dead except for one. It is really unbelievable. These kids are suffering.

I am so grateful your daughter talks to you and that she can weep over this.

Karen said...

Your sweet Becky, truly a blessing to have her in your life.

Roger Miller said...

I think that 13-15 are probably the roughest time in our lives - at least for me they were, and I'm glad to hear that Becky feels comfortable enough to come to you for support. It's sad to see some of the kids that I have watched grow up, fall into despair and get ignored by their parents. I pray that my children, especially my daughters, will feel comfortable enough to confide in Jenni and myself if they ever run into something like that (drugs, cutting, smoking, etc.). Unfortunately, it took our oldest a little while to trust us, and he still holds back even now.
God Bless your daughter.