Motherly Utterances

I never thought the day would come when I let slip some of the things that I do. The kids drove me to it. I'm not talking profanity, or even "I told you so". And though I've said enough of the things my mother preached to me and I swore I never would, it's not those either.

We're talking the stupid things that one would never even need to say if they did not have children. Take today for instance. I overheard myself saying these.

1. Don't throw that puppy!
2. I've got corn in my shoe.
3. You need to dump those out like I need to pick my nose all day. (Okay, I laughed at myself after saying this. Where on earth did that come from?!)
4. Why is there poop in your hair?
5. You pooped on the floor!
6. Try sleeping if you're tired. It makes all the sense in the world to me.
7. Who let the dogs out?! (We did not find this song at all amusing when it came out. With 22 dogs, it can be an all day event rounding them up. Not that we don't ever let them out but we're careful who we let out with whom.)
8. What is in that plant/hanging from the ceiling fan/on the curtain rod? (The Baby found that if he tosses small toys they sometimes "stick" in fun places. Being the one with a mental delay it's funny that he's the only one who ever thought of this.)
9. The dog food dish is not a snack bowl.
10. You will eat on the rug or not eat at all. (Don't even ask.)

Don't you just love parenthood?


Michelle said...

oh that list was great! thanks for the laugh!

PamperingBeki said...

Bahahaha!!!! Soooo very true!!

Sweet Spice said...

aahahahahahaa gotta love being a parent =o)

Michelle said...

I forgot you had asked what Kayla thinks of her new sibling-to-be, and I can't find your email to reply :) I don't think she quite understands the whole concept, but when I ask her where the baby is she pulls up my shirt and points to my belly and wants to kiss my belly button :) If I show her the u/s pic she says "a baby" - I don't think she really recognizes it as a baby, I think she just remembers that is what I told her it was the first time :)

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

22 dogs. 22 dogs. 22 dogs. I can't seem to get that out of my head. 22 dogs. 22 dogs. 22 dogs.

Oh, and did you mention that you have 22 dogs?

~ Teresa ~ said...

I thought that number 3 on your list was funny too!

The Rocking Pony said...

Okay, I need to clarify that 22 dogs thing. For starters 10 of them are puppies that will be finding new homes in a few weeks. That only leaves us with 12 dogs that are keepers. And they're not all in the house! The Baby tends to let them out of the kennel for entertainment and some of those dogs barely know their names much less how to come when called. That's what you get when you purchase adult dogs and not raise them from puppies. But they're learning!

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

OK, then 12 dogs. That still makes you the patron saint of dogs. I can officially confirm that you have far more patience than I ever will.