Christmas Came Early

Okay, remember my post about finding a pair of jeans that fit well? And remember how we all agreed that a good pair of jeans is more elusive than a red nosed reindeer? But it was The Burgh Baby's Mom that said her dear and wonderful husband, through some feat akin to a miracle, bought her the perfect pair of jeans.

I must admit, I had my doubts. I mean, come on. What works for one does not always work for another. The Burgh Baby's Mom is my polar opposite. She's got legs. I just have stubs holding up my torso. She's a size or two smaller than I am. She claims to have the post-baby belly, but I've carried and birthed four times the children that she has so you can only imagine the jelly belly that I have going on. So although I couldn't be more thrilled that she found a pair of jeans that work miracles on her body, you can understand my skepticism that they would not be perfect for everyone.

And then something happened that made me think that they could, actually, be miracle jeans. Another bloggy friend, on The Burgh Baby's Mom's advice, tried on a pair of these denim wonders. Madame Queen was a little more than impressed. She was pretty sure that she heard The Hallelujah Chorus playing in the background as she slipped into these things and zipped up. You can imagine my intrigue at this point.

But here's the kicker. I talked about a huge problem I have buying jeans. The fact that I refuse to pay much more than $20 on a pair seriously limits what I can purchase. (I have to save all I can to afford my Starbucks addiction.) And the sad fact is that you cannot buy a miracle on $20. These wonder jeans are from Gap, and they run $69.50. Holy schamoly, I could get 3 pair for this price elsewhere, AND two cups of Peppermint Mocha.

And then it occurred to me that I could get these miracle working jeans at the great worldwide online yard sale. You guessed it, baby. Ebay! But I was taking quite a chance. I mean, buying a pair of jeans without trying them on is risky to say the least. You can't exactly do a return at your local Ebay. They're not very good like that. With two glowing reviews, though, I felt as though I should just swallow my apprehension and take the plunge. I purchased a pair for $19.96, including shipping.

They arrived today. I rushed upstairs to the privacy of my full length mirror and stripped down to my fat rolls and stretch marks. I breathed deeply and prayed that I hadn't just wasted good coffee money on denim duds. I pulled on those jeans, still cold from spending hours in my mailbox and instantly knew that I, too, had found a miracle. I listened to a wiser mom than I and acted on her advice. I swear I lost 5 pounds, my hips were shaved just a tad and my butt became smaller. And that jelly belly? It was sucked in and held firm. Madame Queen, that Hallelujah Chorus is still playing in the background. (I wonder; if I wear 3 pair of jeans simultaneously, would I lose 15 pounds?)

My advice to you? Run, don't walk, anywhere you can and snap up all the Curvy Boot Cut jeans that you can find in your size. Someday they will be discontinued and you will die a little inside knowing that you could have had your own personal miracle, but you procrastinated one day too long. Don't say we didn't tell you.

(And Burgh Baby's Mom? For my undying gratitude I will mail that diaper pouch that I've forgotten about. Ever and ever so sorry. I promise I'll make it good.)