The Difference Between Men and Women

Well, not the big obvious one. We all figured that out when we got married. As well as too many of the smaller, only slightly less obvious ones. I'm talking about the difference between motherhood and fatherhood.

We went out to eat tonight with a host of friends. It was a great time with 8 adults, 4 teens, and 7 kids 10 and under. We were our own little corner of the restaurant, just having a grand time and enjoying life.

And then Micah gagged. And retched. And proceeded to throw up on the table. Yeh, not very classy. But what can you expect from a toddler?

At the first gag I was out of my chair, around our table and beside him with a napkin up to his mouth. My other hand was reaching for every other napkin on the table. I caught barf in my hand like any mom would do, then cleaned up the mess.

My husband's first reaction was... Well, I don't know what it was. I was catching puke in my hands. I do know and appreciate that he borrowed wipies from another mom and handed them to me for the clean up. Because men don't catch puke in their hands. It's a mom thing, obviously.

I was highly amused by the 4 young, unmarried men at the table closest to us. They commented through laughter about "how nasty," "oh, that's just wrong," and "ewwww!" But they never missed a beat shoveling the food into their mouths. Men. Nothing grosses them out, but they won't catch puke in their hands.

31 comments:

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

The last time the Toddler threw up at the dinner table was at Boston Market. I was so sure I was going to have to clean up after two of them after Mr. Husband turned into the biggest sissy ever. He had to wipe up a little bit of the table while I had her in the bathroom cleaning up her entire t-shirt as well as my lap, hands, and every other possible place a kid can puke on you. He would not shut up about how gross his two pukey green beans were and I wanted to kill him.

Why do we try to catch the puke anyway?

Oh, and I hope it's a one time thing and that Micah isn't going through yet another sick spell. He deserves to be totally well for the rest of the year!

Jennifer said...

LMAO. That reminds me of when Lale was holding Mickey, when she was just a baby, and he was shirtless. She proceeded to spit up on him - it went on his shoulder, and down both sides - his chest, and back. He started to gag, basically threw Mickey to my sister in law, and RAN to the bathroom. Oh please, if that is the worse that ever happens to him, he is lucky.

~Jennifer

utmomof5 said...

Why do moms do that?! I really is quite gross. But not as gross just watching the kid throw up and kepp right on shoveling in the food.

anglophilefootballfanatic said...

Instinct for men is to ignore and shovel food in. Instinct for mom is to do whatever to protect her brood. Good mommying, K!

pb&j in a bowl said...

It's an amazing thing, really. They can watch Fear Factor marathons, but the thought of human vomit makes them sick to their stomach.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

They also don't catch poop in their hands! You know when you're changing a baby's diaper and they weren't quite finished yet? Yeah, like that.

Poor Micah! Poor you!

The Sports Mama said...

My puke-catching experience happened on a road trip, with the then 2 year old Jock in his car seat. In the middle of the back seat. With luggage and pillows and other assorted stuff stacked all around him on both sides. In the middle of winter. Going very fast down the highway. No napkins handy.

Coach had to pull over to the side of the road so HE could get sick before he could help me clean everything else up.

Yeah, he freaks at the boys' blood, too.

Remind me again why I keep him??

Cecily R said...

Oh Jon is the biggest PANSY when it comes to puke and boogers. It's always neat to see a 300 pounder bolt like a chunky gazelle whenever the kids make that sound...

Do you think that puke catching thing is in our DNA? How is it that we ALL lunge to to do it?

Melissa said...

LOL! I have so been there. Icky, but what else are you going to do.

Pam said...

what is it about mom's and catching puke anyway? Can't even count how many times I have done that....and it is gross....so why don't we just let it go on the table or floor and clean it up from there?

Andrea said...

LOL!! That is sooo true! I have done that many, many, many times. Then when I say, "Help!" is normally the time my husband tries to pretend he can't hear me! Men!!

THE MOM BOMB said...

Is this why whenever our dog leaves a "present" on the floor, hubs calls me over to clean it up?

Impressive vomit catching skills, lady.

BTW, I pick a fake fight with you on my blog today.

jessica said...

yeah, daddies are not puke catchers. it's in their DNA. they are also not very good butt wipers.

Lori said...

This is true.... except I've already explained to my hubby that I don't do puke so he better be ready to deal with it himself! (I can only hope ... right??)

stop by my blog... there is something there for you!

caramama said...

What is it with men? Especially the single ones!

Mine at least has gotten over the puking thing because of our lovely dog, who's had stomach problems. It's either the one of us who is closer to a towel jump up and get it under the gagging dog in the wee hours of the morning, or we are all out of bed changing the sheets. Needless to say, we are both really good puke catchers. A skill I'm just so proud of. ;-)

I hope Micah feels better!

Kellan said...

No they do not - you are right about that!!!

Hope you are having a good day - see you soon, Karen. Kellan

Shelle said...

I hate to admit this...but roles are reversed in our family...you see I am a sympathizer puker...someone pukes and you better watch out because up comes my upchuck! Anyhow...Love your site and you are so funny!

Shelle

Madame Queen said...

We've had so much throw up in our house in the last two years -- what with the stomach viruses and Punkin's extremely sensitive gag reflex -- that we're both pretty much immune to it now, but I still don't think Mr. Daddy has ever caught it in his hand.

There should be some kind of medal for that, in my opinion.

Colleen said...

awesome puke-catching skills, Mom! I've gotten good at it, too, because it seems that Cooper has a highly sensitive gag reflex. While Justin's backing away from the gagging noise to avoid the splash-zone, I'm running towards, hands outstretched, pulling Cooper forward so that he pukes onto his highchair tray (and doesn't lean back and aspirate the vomit); meanwhile, Gavin's just eating his dinner because, well, this is at least a weekly occurance in our household. We did find (since my brother has a sensitive gag reflex), that sometimes if we startle Cooper when he first starts to gag, we can stop it. Not always, but I always try because I am pretty tired of catching the puke.
I also get to clean up any dog puke or diarrhea (even when he's home with only 1 kid or by himself). I've been out running errands and have been called home to come clean up diarrhea. I'm glad my cleaning skills are appreciated.

Fannie Mae said...

OF COURSE we catch it. Because if we don't contain it somehow? The mess we'll have to deal with will only be gigger! Sheesh.

Debbie Yost said...

This story brings two things to mind:

1. One time a dad was dropping his daughter off at my house when she vomited everywhere (including my prize rolltop desk). Dad actually positioned her head toward him so she puked ON him instead of into my entry way more. He took her outside quickly where she continued to puke on my front lawn. Did I tell you I'm quitting daycare soon? 5 weeks to go. This I will NOT miss.

2. We discovered MA gets carsick when after she learned to read we threw her in a car for a trip across Missour to St. Louis. We stopped at a Steak and Shake and she said she wasn't feeling well then threw up all over the sidewalk outside their door. We still give her a hard time about that one.

Debbie Yost said...

Oh yeah, I forgot to say I must have some guy in me because I would always aim away from me. I've never considered trying to catch it!

Queen Mommy said...

Reflex. Straight reflex. Dad's just don't have the motherhood reflex!

Although, King Daddy the very first time Oldest puked, pulled her in closer. He got it all over him. Three times. Not bad.

Shellie said...

Oh, it must start before birth, I swear. My daughter barfed into her own hands when really little and held it out to give to me. On the other hand (no pun intended) I have a son who barfed and kept right on eating!

Birdie said...

poor guy, poor you! But that was really funny. Thankfully my kids are 12 & 9 and I've never had to catch a body fluid.

Kari said...

Yup professional puke catcher here too. My DD puked on an airplane once and we didn't even get any on us. Who needs them barf bags when you have mom the catcher around. LOL

Sandy C. said...

I think puke catching is a natural instinct for moms. Much like the one arm lever instinct that shoots out when you brake suddenly in a car ;)

Flea said...

I've never actually had to catch the puke. I always grab something else - plate, cup, bowl, bucket - as receptacle. And my Hunny? He wouldn't be eating - he'd be in the bathroom losing his dinner.

Michelle said...

Yay, there are three of us out there! I don't do puke. I really can't. My husband has that job, thank God. But I'm not "guy" enough to be able to keep eating. Smell, sight and sound has to be gone before I would be able to think about food again. If then.

Susie said...

ha LOL! MEN are from Mars for sure! at least it didn't turn into a big-barf-o-rama! I always gag a little when I have to catch Sophie's puke!

imbeingheldhostage said...

We're doing that right now! You know what it's like when a toddler has the flu-- they don't lie still in one place, therefor you're spending the whole day chasing them HOPING to catch the puke. This has been the longest week of my life, which is why I haven't been here to read!

You're excused to play in the sun, as long as you don't go away forever please. And, I have NOT mailed a package having had more time to get ready than you did...i suck. My goal is to mail by Weds, since we move on Thursday. Have a great weekend :-)