I've Let It Go To The Dogs

I love dogs. That's a no-brainer considering that we have one or two of them here.

*ahem*

In fact, I love many many dogs. I'm not sure that I could just choose one breed and go with it for the rest of my life. It would be like just having a Mocha when Starbucks has so, so much more to offer. And they're all equally fabulous, so why limit yourself?

There are, however, a few dogs that I really don't care to ever own. Personal preferences dictate likes and dislikes and I apologize to anyone if you have the misfortune to own one of these things if I offend you with my not-so-much list.




Poodles are my original why would you even? kind of dogs. Sorry. Just can't get past the froo-doo.




The afghan hound is a very graceful dog but the thing just looks kinda freaktacular to me. Not my favorite either.




Bulldogs have a face only their own mother could love. I'm not sure if that includes the human parents or not. And you know what's even more weird? I love those things. They were on my must-have list for decades but I've since come to my senses and have decided to lust after them from a distance. I own vicariously through others.




The chihuahua is not really a dog; it's an overgrown, domesticized rat. Someone became aware of this and smacked it with a 2x4 from the back of the head, making it's eyes bulge. It's ancestors are still experiencing the after effects of this. In case you haven't figured it out, chewa-chewas rank somewhere below snakes on the list of dogs I want someday. And really - if you want to dress something up in cutesy clothes and tuck it under your arm, get yourself a creepy doll.



A Chinese Crested is a chihuahua with mange problems. It so happened that all the hair got scratched off except for a combover on top of it's head and Clydesdale fringe on the legs. Somehow people found this to be an attractive quality, reproduced it on a mass scale, and got the AKC to recognize it as a breed. It is hypoallergenic though. Because it has no hair.



The Irish Wolfhound is probably one of the most unusually ugly dogs you'll encounter. It looks like a wolf stretched to unreal proportions sporting Groucho Marx eyebrows. I will own one of these someday. I have no idea why I have an ongoing love affair with them but the call of the Wolfhound is a strong one.



Nothings says huge quite like a mastiff. These things are massive in every way. Their feet will crush yours, a toddler's head can comfortably fit inside their mouth, their tail can take you out at the knees and disable you forever, and their drool forms ponds on the floor. Don't forget that what goes in must come out. That's huge, too. My sister has 2 of these in a teeny tiny little cottage of a house. Her daughter uses them as jungle gyms.



Five guesses what the heck this thing is, and what direction it's headed. And yes, it is a dog. A super cool one at that. Those dreadlocks? Are natural. Oh, yeh.



If a bulldog has a face only a mother could love, then that leaves exactly nobody to love this. Seriously, that is a special kind of ugly going on right there. Ouch. Not a fan. And I say that in the kindest way possible.


But enough with the breed study. Dogs are a part of our every day life. (Some of us experience that a little more than others. We got to visit the vet again today! Ah, there's nothing like the sound of my money being ripped from the checkbook and handed over the counter.) Just take a gander at these pictures. They all tell the story of how dogs are such an integral part of our lives.



The first day of school is never complete without a celebration of sorts. The utter shock and horror on the face of the youngest tells all. But the real question is why wasn't that cropped out?! Wonder if they got pictures of the resulting puppies posing with the family for the annual Christmas portrait?






Bunch of hot dogs. I may not be a fan of the Pug, but clearly the humiliation is evident here. Why would you do that to your dog? What? Did they think that someone would hand out free hot dogs or something?



Our first dump day at the beach. We all had a blast.



Ronald McRuff. Wonder where he's located? And why he's never made an appearance with Ronald? Maybe that's what Ronald reincarnated into. At least he moved up in the world.



I think Windy here has gone on a few too many car rides with the windows down. Apparently he didn't heed his mother's warning that his face would freeze like that someday.



This has to be a photoshop, right? Because that is just kinda, um, indescribable. I'll bet he could lick himself without even turning his head. Yeh, makes you want to wretch a little when he reaches across a room with that thing to give you a big wet one.



Apparently Elvis has not left the building. He's now sniffing butts for a living.



Mrs. Porter wanted to model her lingerie for her husband while he was away on a business trip, but worried that he would not be able to view it from a company's computer. Thank goodness Francesca walked into the room at that very moment.



Oh. My. Word. Are there words for this? This poor thing is an ancestor to the Chinese Cresteds I think. I'm pretty sure that it's a dog. It could be a razorback hog. I just know that I'd lock up the women and children if that thing showed up in my yard. Oh, wait. I'm the women.