If You Give A Boy A Lizard

Who knew a lizard could be such a problematic animal? I mean, the thing barely moves, you dump in a dozen crickets once a week and it's lights need turned on and off daily. That's pretty much it. But the darn thing is causing us problems.

I'm going to blame the reptile's very existence on our nephew. He had a lizard and our boys were enamored. Josh asked for one right from the get-go, but we're not really the impulsive type when it comes to pets. (I know what it looks like with the dogs, but that's different. Really.) Not being overly keen on reptiles myself, I hesitated. The words "maybe someday" were bantered around. Parents all know that these are weapons of immense proportions. You're promising squat, and yet you didn't say the dreaded NO word. And? If the kid keeps pestering every third hour of every day for the desired object, you can pull out the big guns. Threaten that if they keep pestering you'll change your mind to NO.

I love messing with their little minds.

So after a year of patiently asking and waiting, Josh got his lizard. I wanted to be sure that it wasn't a passing craze, because that would leave me to be lizard-mom, and that's not a title I really covet. He began asking in the spring of the year, and that Christmas we were at a loss as to what to get the kids. The lizard kinda loomed between us like a cold-blooded white elephant. So when others asked what to get Josh for the holidays that year we requested gift cards to a pet store.

But at the last minute Sam came up with a stellar gift for the kids and we didn't spring for the reptile in the stocking. And then Josh had all those cards to a pet store. Weird, huh?

When Easter rolled around we were once again contemplating the gift thing. The elephant grew a little, because reptiles are weird that way. I thought about how fun it would be to just take Josh to the pet store let him get the lizard right then and there. I mean, gifts are to be surprises after all. So that's what I did. To this day he's convinced that I just walked into the store for a look-see and he talked me into it. The funny thing is that he never even asked for it while there. He's that good of a kid.

So what happens when you give a boy a reptile? His younger brother wants a reptile, too. Luke has been incubating this idea for a while. He's pretty sure that since Josh got one it's a given that he'll get one, too. Based solely on this presumption he asked me the other day if he could get a baby crocodile instead.

Let me think about that.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Um, no.

20 comments:

Pam said...

Oh my goodness! I am not looking forward to Riley getting older and asking for a lizard (or a baby crocodile!). Ashlyn keeps asking for a dog- at least that is 'normal' but I'm not ready for a lizard - all that feeding it crickets stuff is just not for me!

JennyH said...

Funny!!
I don't mind reptiles, I have had several in my life, But I am going to dread when my kids seriously ask for a reptile or pet in general.

Michelle said...

Ahhhh... the innocence of youth! I do like how he made sure to ask for a baby crocodile because maybe then it won't grow to be a big man eating crocodile?

So far I've only been asked for a dog and deflected that by pointing out how little time Grandpa can spend away from his house and how we go do fun things for *hours* at a time that we wouldn't be able to do with a dog. And he was content with that. Phew!

So I've heard about the lizard having its tail fall off and regrowing thing. Have you experienced that yet?

SgtSudsWife said...

That is so cool he got a lizard.I am looking for the one I want now too.What kind did he get?

As far as the crocodile...hahahahaha.

Karen Deborah said...

ROFLOL a baby crocodile....my worst *yes* was a pet rat. It was a little home bred and domesticated critter that actually did have a pretty cool personality. We gave her a good name to soften up her breeding, Liza Jane Ratigan. She loved bananas.
So what's your lizards name and can two of them hang out together? So you only need one acquarium? you crack me up, your a funny mom. Glad you can laugh after all the tragic puppy dog tales of late.

the planet of janet said...

dude, come get the snake, the turtles and a boatload of fish from my house.

your kids could be happy forever.

oh and the rat. how could i forget the rat.

LaskiGal said...

Yeah, but seriously. Can you imagine the blog fodder you'd have from a baby crocodile???

I remember my siblings all getting salamanders on the same day. I also remember all three of them releasing said salamanders in the house . . . on the SAME day. And, I remember the cat and dog going after said salamanders.

After that, we stuck with fish. And that is a whole other story.

Trannyhead said...

You, lizardmom, are totally hawt. If you become lizardmom you have got to have a superhero outfit made of something reptilian looking. With a cape.

Karen said...

sgtsudswife - we got a bearded dragon based solely on the fact that it's kid friendly and won't run fast when it gets out. It's a good pet, too. I kinda like the thing.

Karen Deborah - I've heard that sometimes two can fight and separate tanks are required. But I refuse to spring for a second set-up this early on because it's expensive. I'll have to do more research.

Andrea said...

You are one brave woman to have one lizard in your home. Those creep me out. I know a lady that lets her lizard just rome the house. Nice!! No way Jose!! Lizards creep me out. You are abrave woman!!

Leanne said...

Nope. Nothing that eats live things will ever live with me. Unless of course the pet eats things I don't like. Like our cat with mice. It's my line in the sand. Sorta.

Flea said...

Fish. Let Luke get fish.

Burgh Baby said...

Good luck with that. If you need Lizard Man to send an email stating why a crocodile would be a bad idea, just say the word.

Caution Flag said...

You really are the mom we all should have. Really. You're that great:P

Fishsticks and Fireflies said...

You really are the coolest mom there is! Cooper thankfully doesn't understand the concept of 'pets', but hubby has made mention of things like lizards and mice. Much to my utter delight, the AAP released a statement just last week recommending against 'non-traditional' pets for households with children under the age of 5. Maybe I can contact them and have them ammend that statement to include husbands with the mental capacity of a child under the age of 5 as well.

Nap Warden said...

Wow...no on the croc.? You are such a buzzkill;)

Aimee said...

Hmm . . . baby croc? Yeah, that's when we pull out the old "We'll see."

Which is ParentSpeak for "Oh HELL no."

Kidzmama said...

You gotta give the kid credit. Croc is logical after lizard. Right up the food chain. Clever has asked us for an iguana. I'm thinking no. The various insects are enough for my taste.

Momisodes said...

Well of course he wants a croc- bigger food! :)

Colleen said...

at least the crocs are a little less sneaky than the one you have, especially when they're trying to eat smaller lizards, dogs, livestock, or children...