The Shoes Make The Woman

Becky is not my daughter. She is a girl, for one. I was never a girly-girl; I was a tomboy of immense proportions. (Not literally, mind you.) So to have a girl in my care is sometimes baffling to me. After 13 years, I'm coming to just accept it for the way things are. I've allowed nail polish, make-up and perfume. I take her clothes shopping and buy hair products for her. I schlep her to friends' houses, and dances, and football games and weekend events. She's quite the social butterfly, and that, too, is baffling to me.

While she's been to a dance or two already, those were not dressy occasions. I have never been to a dance in my life (and I am not even kidding) so I wasn't aware that one could attend a school dance in jeans and still be accepted in the sight of your peers the next day. Live and learn.

But the Fall Formal is looming near and she needs a gown. Her and the friends had a plan: they were going to all go gown shopping together because how fun would that be?!

I had a different plan: take her myself because I'm not altogether sure that I trust her judgement in gowns, nor her discretion with my money. But I did not want to be the heavy parent in the group so I said nothing. I figured once plans start taking shape then I may offer to be the parent that takes them. (Shoot. Me. Now.) Thankfully the other moms all had the same idea that I did and they put the kibosh on the plan, actually verbalizing what I was thinking. They wanted to be there to choose a gown, and to monitor the money. Turns out the other parents were the heavies and I got to be the cool one who didn't have to tell my daughter that I didn't completely trust her judgement. Sa-weet.

So we went gown shopping. I have to say that it was an enjoyable experience and not a dreaded ordeal like I thought it might be. (Maybe there's hope for me yet.) She found a green number that was modest and flattering. And absolutely beautiful. But it was a bit pricier than I wanted to pay. I am, after all, Cheapest Person on Planet Earth.

So we pushed on. In my quest for cheap, I perused every sale rack in every store's fancy-schmancy dresses section. The mother of the bride dresses were not overlooked. Oh yeh, I went there. Weirdly those do not come in size 2's. Go figure.

We found another that was flattering, in a very classy black and white. And? It was half price. And? The original price was less than the green number that we found. As we were checking out with it, she was contemplating what jewelry she should wear with it.

(You hear that, Grandma? You'll have to get together with her and fix her up with some snappy silver and black ensembles.)

And shoes. She said she'd need to buy shoes, too. I did a quick mental rundown of the shoes in my closet. We wear the same size and although I do not allow sharing of shoes (they're mine!) I figured I'd be generous for the occasion.

And then it hit me. I am a frumpy mom. I do not own anything with a heel. And I mean nothing. And the worst part? I like it that way.

We'll be going shoe shopping soon. Maybe Becky will let me borrow hers sometime.

25 comments:

Leanne said...

Yep. We've got a Christmas formal coming up and my girl wants to wear make-up. Make-Up? Why, she's clear skinned, bright eyed and beautiful, she doesn't need it.

She thinks she does. Yikes. Now my friends are telling me that I should just be grateful that she doesn't want it for school days too.

I suppose. But when she was two she looked so darn cute in her overalls. I want those back.

So, I hear ya. I really do.

Pam said...

I don't look forward to these days- I hope I can manage being the mommy to a teen with grace and dignty like you! Thankfully I have years to prepare.

JennyH said...

I hope you post pictures of her all dolled up when the dance comes. I never liked dress shopping even when it was for me back in HS!

(Keri) Auburn Gal Always said...

I, too, am frumpy. The only shoes in my closet that Sissy likes are my Frey boots.

Flea said...

Maybelline and I only share flip flops, as my size 11's are a tad too large for her feet. :) Otherwise I sympathize with ya. Well, I'm not wild about shopping with the girl. Dad enjoys it much more.

Michelle said...

I can so see that happening with Little Miss and me. She's totally going to head in that vein. And I'm not looking forward to it.

And umm I'm sorry but I can't let my title of Cheapest Person On The Face Of The Earth go quite that quickly. Sorry, but I'll fight you for it ;)

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Yes, it feels weird to have a daughter that is more girly than I ever was. It looks like it's sort of fun to be that way, though! Maybe I missed out.

Cecily R said...

I have heels but never wear them. I don't know what's worse. You not having any or me having them and wearing my flip flops instead!!

Oh, and WOAH! You have a kid going to a formal!!!

Cathy said...

My daughter is ten (she will be 11 in Jan) going on 25 I think. She asked me this week if she can start shaving her legs! I almost cried. I'm 28 I didnt get to start shaving my legs until I was 14. When in the world did my baby girl turn into a pre-teen? I have had to laugh lately when she asks for a new bra or something like that and her father goes.....PLEASE GO ASK CATHY I DONT WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT A BRA OR RAZORS OR ANYTHING ELSE.
How come I as the step mom have to do this :). It's awesome I tell ya!

Karen said...

I get to do that x3. And everyone of mine is a girly girl. I actually really look forward to those kind of shopping trips. I never had one with my mother. My Dad or grandmother always handled those type of things.

imbeingheldhostage said...

oh, pretty soon her things will grow on you and you'll have to have your own. I'm getting a big kick envisioning you in heals chasing a few dozen puppies and ponies around :-)

Marmarbug said...

I am a true girly girl so if I ever had a daughter that was a tomboy I'd be confused!!! It goes both ways I guess.
But awesome that you got a great deal on a dress.
Sucks though that the dress thing is just starting!
Fall formals already? ACK!

Ly said...

Hello Sitsa! How r u doing today? I hope everything's well with you.
I can imagine how pretty your daughter is.

caramama said...

Wow. Gown shopping with your daughter. She really is growing up, isn't she? I'll bet she is stunning in a gown!

It must be hard to relate, but I think it's great you are letting her figure out who she is on her own. You're such a great mom!

Burgh Baby said...

Just thinking about formal dresses and the such gives me heart palpitations. I don't envy you one bit.

Kidzmama said...

How ironic! I wrote a similar post about Clever today. Thank goodness we're not up to the formal dress age yet, but getting close.

You're doing a great job letting her be herself.

Debbie in CA : ) said...

First high heels then car keys, and before you know it she's off to university. Savor the moments, mamma -- they are so sweet and SO fleeting. : )

Andrea said...

I don't think I will ever be ready for that!! Yikes!! And don't feel bad, I don't have any cute heels either!! I can't wait to see pictures! And it gives me hopes that my little girl just might be girly after all!

the planet of janet said...

i'm thinking you and i are actually sisters from other mothers.

and perhaps our daughters are actually the same person.

sigh.

HalfAsstic.com said...

Here's the deal, Karen. You can get an agreement with her to let you borrow them and you can KNOW that you can, and that is all that will ever happen. I even own a pair or two that I purchased to wear with a dress I was forced into for a funeral.
They are now, "The funeral shoes". I fear, (not really), they will never be anything else.

Momisodes said...

Aww, you are such a good mom. That is so sweet you went with her :)

p.s. I can't even remember the last time I wore heels. :(

My boys are Army Brats said...

I'm so jealous! Maybe my boys will have girlfriends who will need a shopping buddy. I'll require that they only date girls who's moms are busy or hate to shop! Of course we're talking years from now huh?

Colleen said...

That's pretty exciting stuff! I'm sad that so far all I get to look forward to is ensuring my boys don't embarass their dates with ill-fitting suits.

Patricia said...

I agree…. almost every women loves shoe & their shopping too.

Michelle said...

I'm glad you were able to find something flattering, modest, AND reasonably priced! Can't wait to see the photos of Becky in her dress! I'm not a heel-girl either :)