Some People Are More Stupider Than Others

My sister-in-law gave me some canned dog food. It came with the warning that it made her dog gassy. As in, clear the room and declare it a nuclear war zone kind of gassy. I reassured her that we have outside dogs and we could really care less what they smell like.


So I brought that stuff home and set it out to remind myself to feed it to them. And then, as I sat there and looked at it, I got to thinking. Everyone's digestive tract is different, right? I mean, just because it made one very geriatric dog gassy doesn't mean it's going to make every dog gassy. And our dogs are young and healthy. Plus, they're used to having a variety of foods tossed their way. Or left laying by Micah. Our dogs take their jobs as food vacuums seriously around here. Like the 1 pound bag of pepperoni that was inhaled by the dogs. And that had no effect on their gastric system whatsoever.


So I did the unthinkable. I opened that can of canned dog food. The smell was like pure heaven to a dog (kinda like road kill on a hot summer day) and they came running from the far corners of the house. I had to fight them back so that I could put it in their bowl. They were kind enough to share without snarling at each other, but the price they pay for that is scarfing and swallowing so as to get the most possible food that they can.


Well, they loved it. But I had no doubt that they would. I opened the door and invited them to go play outside for a while, just in case something unpleasant really did happen. I'm not stupid, you know.


I know you can see where this is going.


Those dogs weren't inside 45 seconds before I noticed one of them eating something off the floor. It looked exactly like the dog food that I fed them, chunks and all. I was horrified that they were eating it, but figured if they were that dumb it was one less mess for me to clean up. Why yes, I did just walk away and let them finish the job. But don't worry, I scrubbed the spot with ammonia when they were done.


Let this be a lesson to you. When someone gives you warning about something, believe them. Don't try to prove anything yourself. The smell is still lingering, and that's been a few hours. I think the inventor of canned dog food didn't even like dogs and was trying to punish the owners.

16 comments:

Jennifer said...

Oh how gross and how funny at the same time. And oh how I missed you and your blog these past 8 months. :)

I am back in the US for the next 4 months or so, and will be catching up on you and your family. And updating my blog too - I know finally right? LOL

~Jennifer

My Two Army Brats said...

Ewww! LMAO but Ewww!

Michelle said...

Here's hoping that this was the *only* can of it that your mom gave you (and btw I would have walked away, as well -- that IS one thing dogs are great for). Have you compared ingredients to other dog food you have to see what causes the ummm issues?

I'm so glad I don't have a dog right now ;) (As my cats are peacefully sleeping entwined in each others' arms on the chair in the family room)

Trannyhead said...

Some wine just came out of my nose thanks to my chortle.

the planet of janet said...

*snort* dogs are gross.

Karen said...

Oh, somedays I am not sure if the human children or the canine children are more disgusting. Ever have a dog ear ice cream???? Ugh!!!!!!!! That is the worst gas I have smelled to date. (incase you were wondering.)

Flea said...

Oh how horribly familiar a tale.

imbeingheldhostage said...

Buhlyuck! Yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck. Thank you for sharing that (note to self: never read Karen right after breakfast).

mommaof4wife2r said...

i have a gross stinch here from that canned dog food! jk...but seriously, a warning and everything! i mean, don't you have enough gas in your life?? ha!

Burgh Baby said...

Funny that somebody mentioned dog ice cream as an odor causer, but Meg can have that. It's everything else that is not poured into her food bowl that she shouldn't have, lest we all die from the fumes.

I ALWAYS wait a few minutes after someone barfs to see if anybody else will eat it. Gross, but true.

JennyH said...

Gross! But I'm with ya- let the dogs clean it up. I can't watch it or it makes me sick.
Ralph was our best vacuum, garbage disposal and floor cleaner there ever was. Now we have Baby- she is not nearly as good. Plus there are no other dogs to fight off- so it must not be as tasty.

caramama said...

Bwahahaha! Very gross, but funny! Next time, believe the warning!

Leanne said...

Hee Hee Hee.

I'm laughing over here. I am reading a dog book about how to figure out a good breed for a person, and I was thinking about you.

Have you ever posted about how you picked your particular breed of puppies to breed and raise?

Fishsticks and Fireflies said...

That post SO reminded me that you were on my list of people to e-mail . . . in regards to the smells that come from my dogs backside - because I ♥ you and you are the queen of dogs so I know you might have the answer and not because the dog farting reminds me of you.

Anyway . . .

Is there anything out there that can help with the smells that come from my dogs backside? He is on a prescription diet of duck and potato dry food because of his various skin issues. When the food doesn't have me gagging, the farting has me running for the sink with dry heaves. Breath mint suppositories? I am no longer above it . . . the stentch is AWFUL.

Drea said...

gross lol
btw how u doing? email me! with all the new laws regarding etsy im scared u are one being affected.

Anglophile Football Fanatic said...

I'm eating, Karen. EGADS. Ewww.