A Side of Moral Support

Micah had his ear tubes placed today and it was a very good thing. Hearing always is. Impairment begins when tubes come out, which is an average of 6 months with Micah. Fun times.

So anyhoo, I was at the ENT on Tuesday when they scheduled for him to have the minor surgical procedure on Wednesday. The doctor had a cancellation; that's why I was able to get in so quickly. I jumped all over it like a kid on a trampoline. I did, however, need to make some phone calls to rearrange the schedule. Cancel the bus driver, tell the aide to stay home, let the ST know that Micah won't make therapy, and call Sam to have him get off work for the day.

Yeh, even though we've been there and done that half a dozen times with the kid, I still won't sit through a very minor surgical procedure alone. And there's a reason for that.

I was alone with my one day old newborn when the doctor told me they were testing him for Down syndrome. I had no moral support, no shoulder to cry on, and nobody to share the burden of shock and confusion with.

I was alone, with 4 kids, when the pediatrician told me Micah's test results came back. They were positive. I had no moral support, no hand to hold, and had to distract the kids from hearing words and phrases that would clue them in to the fact that the world just turned upside down. I also had to conceal the hurt that I felt inside. We hadn't told the kids yet, and that wasn't the time or place.

I was alone, with my sister who's prone to panic attacks, when Micah was 4 months old and getting his ears cleaned at the pediatric ENT. The doctor told me he scheduled my son for an exploratory scope (under anesthesia) the next week to see why he was laboring so hard to breathe. Worst case scenario: Micah would need a tracheotomy. I couldn't get my freak on because my sister needed me to be calm and in control. I couldn't deal with a panic attack on top of this new and disturbing news. I had to pretend that the world wasn't shaken yet again.

I've learned the hard way that nothing is easy or simple where Micah is involved, and I don't like to be broadsided any more than anyone else does. Just last year, we were at Children's for a tonsillectomy (and Tube Set #5) when the doctor refused to do the procedure until Micah's c-spine films were done. All I could think of was dear little Kennedy, and the news her mom got when she had her x-rays. And I was incredibly grateful that Sam was there with me to hold my hand, to carry Micah, and to share the burden of having a special needs child. And even more grateful that Micah's films were perfect.

But you just never know when life will throw a curve ball your way, and it's best to be prepared. That's why I won't sit alone through a minor procedure that barely counts as surgery. I prefer to have moral support on standby.


thoughts and ramblings said...

I'm glad his tubes went in uneventfully.

I understand what you're saying. It's good to have someone there with you.

thanks for your blog. I love reading it.


Karen said...

I am exactly the same way. Some how nothing I hear, seems to daunting if Craig is there.

I am so happy that the tubes went in without issue.

Aimee said...

I am SO 100% with you on this one. I won't do anything related to Fiver w/o Rob being there -- mostly because there needs to be someone who is not crying! :)

Even Fiver's psychologist and neurologist remarked at how unusual it is for "the father" to be present at all of the child's appointments.

For us, there's no other choice.

Glad everything went well for Micah -- even though tubes are supposed to be "no big deal", I always hated that procedure with Fiver.

JennyH said...

Max has had several sets of tubes as well. My hubby went the first time and that was it. The others I have done solo or with an extra child.
Glad he did great. Sounds like he was home quickly (from your FB comment). Hope he is back to his normal self today.

YAY for such a quick time in getting that appointment!

Don Mills Diva said...

I'm glad it went okay and I'm all for accepting any and all available support - life is too tough to go it alone...

Anonymous said...

How very true. I am slowly learning to accept help and support and even to ask for it when I need it . . . I think I will forever feel a little bit guilty for telling hubby to stay home the night Quinn was born - and I know he will never forgive himself for missing it.

I am so glad the ENT was able to get you in quickly and that everything went well! Yeah for hearing!

Annette said...

So glad it went well.

I fully understand the need for support. Derek went with me every time to the cardiologist...even if we weren't making the decisions (the dr was and we were comfortable with that), he needed to hear what was happening firsthand. And what if big news came...like you, I didn't want to be alone.

Thankfully each of our ER visits but one have been together too...it's sometimes just good to cry together and hold each other's hand while your baby screams.

imbeingheldhostage said...

Bless! Some day when I live within hours of you (and no large ponds to fly over), I will gladly go with you when Sam can't get the day off.

Shellie said...

I don't blame you.

Michelle said...

I'm so glad the tubes went in without incident. I can totally understand your concern about being alone. I'd never thought of it that way, but having a shoulder to lean on is critical. Fingers crossed you don't ever need one again, but I know no one can count on that!