Happy Campers is a Term Made Up by Disgruntled Counselors

Next week is camp for the boys. That means that three boys will be absent from our house, and while most people would be thinking that the home will be quiet and peaceful, we are not most people. No, we'd be the idiots who don't just send their kids to camp, we go with them. Other families are idiotic enough to go be counselors and stay overnight, but we take idiocy to all new levels. *Go, us.* We'd be the ones that choose to drive back and forth every single day because we are day helpers and not overnight counselors. We will also be bringing Micah home with us daily (nightly?) so that would ensure that we don't even get a peaceful night's sleep. We're excelling in idiocy, my friends. We are Excellent Idiots.

What could possibly make this any more irrational? The fact that I volunteered to help with the drama. While I was originally informed that drama would take place during the evening lesson, I've come to find out differently. First of all, let it be noted that by volunteering to "help with the drama" I was actually volunteering to "head up the drama team." I'm not sure how that got so twisted, but there it is. And what was during the evening lesson is now during the evening lesson AND first thing in the morning. Yippee Skippee, I'm the one who has to get up at the plumber's crack of dawn to feed horses, dogs, goats and lizards (okay, so it's just one goat and one lizard, but it might as well be a whole freaking zoo at this point) (Oh wait, it is. Forget I said that.) BEFORE driving a half hour to put on drama for campers. They'd better be happy campers is all I have to say. I have to be there first thing in the morning and last thing at night, with nothing else to do all day in between. Driving a half hour home won't be an option, but it sure will feel like it should be.

But I have this theory that if you have to do something, you do it right. I will be doing the drama unlike any camper has done drama before. Wearing random, mismatched clothing just because I can sounds like a plan. I'm also thinking of making the teen boy who's helping me sculpt his hair to represent the parting of the Red Sea on the day we learn about that. It'll be dyed red, of course. And a day isn't complete without bright, striped knee socks with shorts and flip flops. I only hope the drama doesn't detract from the lesson. That would be a fail. Of course, I may never be asked to help again. I'm not sure if that would be good or bad.

Have I mentioned that Starbucks is on the way to camp every day? It is. And a Lite Mocha Frappuccino is only 2 points. Totally do-able. Now to talk my ever loving husband into stopping daily. I wont' count up how much that would cost because it would scary. Let's call it therapy and know that nobody can live with me without it, okay?

Also? My mother-in-law has taken off work the entire week of camp to be Micah's personal helper. She volunteered for this monumental task all by herself, and asked my permission to do it. My word, she's a saint.

All hail Saint Mother-In-Law.

No, seriously. Do it. She's a gem.

17 comments:

Viv said...

That IS one terrific grandma!!!

It is great that you are so involved with your children's camp. My big kids went to camp this summer and with trying to juggle the babies and Pre-K camp, I never really got to see them in action and I really feel like I missed out.

My husband swears that I can smell a Starbucks a mile away...it is one of my finer qualities I think.

BeautifulWreck said...

God Bless You...

Karen Deborah said...

i was really starting to worry and then you mentioned grandma to the rescue that is so cool.

My Two Army Brats said...

Wow what a fantastic Grandma!

Good luck this week! I hope you have fun and don't go nuts!

Molly C said...

oh how I wish Micah could come to my camp! Seriously, if you are ever in New York I'm going to be expecting a visit!

imbeingheldhostage said...

I'll hail St MIL, but I was sad to see that's where our similarities stop. FULL stop. (I want your MIL)
Yes, I'd be right up there with you volunteering my free time away. I love teen things-- teen camp, teen dances, teen (life)drama. I guess part of me is either hoping no one will notice I'm middle aged and NOT a teen, or that some of their teen-ness will rub off on me. Hasn't worked yet, but I'm still hopeful.
This outfit plan you have, you will be posting pictures?

Roger said...

Yea Grandma!!

I always volunteer, ahem, get volunteered for the overnight shift, which on one hand is easy (mostly making sure no one gets hurt, especially me, and once lights are out, sleep, unless a camper had just too much fun and decides to vomit all over the place), on the other it's difficult because I have to go to work the next morning, after sleeping on crappy mattresses.

Ah camp. Gotta love it. :)

the planet of janet said...

wow. your mother-in-law is more than saintly!!

Burgh Baby said...

You? Are nuts.

And so is your mother-in-law.

All in a good way, of course.

Cecily R said...

I hope that camp recognizes how stinkin' lucky they are to have you AND your kids.

And Grandma is a gem.

Fishsticks and Fireflies said...

It is going to be a long and tiring week, BUT, it is also going to be so much fun! I think you sound like the perfect person to head up the drama department!

And I am in awe of your mother-in-law's generosity! I can't even get mine to change a diaper!

HalfAsstic.com said...

OH, WOW! I feel so... so, HONORED! I have never know an EXCELLENT IDIOT before! I have heard about them, yet, sadly, it has taken me this long in life to be able to say I know one!
May I just say that I DO, in fact, believe you are extremely qualified for the job? ;-)
Really? No way you could threaten the camp boss people with death if they didn't put the two sessions closer together? Cause, day-um!

Wineplz said...

all hail Grandma!

and you, too! You totally deserve your daily Lite Mocha Frap...I see it as payment for your services.

Flea said...

Wow. I am SERIoUSLY impressed with the MIL. Seriously.

You, on the other hand? Certifiable. Enjoy!

Trannyhead said...

Yes, you're insane.

I admit I'd love to go to camp with my kids, though. I think it would be way fun to do all those awesome camp things again.

Debbie Yost said...

Am I the only one that noticed you praising your MIL then put a picture of a dog at the end of your post? Just wondering.

Seriously, though, it is great to have wonderful in-laws (and parents) My in-laws are going to come stay at our house so Hubby and I can go to Austin, TX and won't have to take the kids out of school. I need to check my calendar to see when that is!

CC said...

Can I have your MIL? Please?